What Cracked You Up Today?

girl_dee · 06-25-2017, 06:00 AM

Drunk people and karaoke.....

Bèsame* · 06-25-2017, 08:49 AM

The bird that flew into the house thru the hole in the window.
It fluttered in my hair. ....

See that hole? Yeah, look...

Shenanigans I say!

A. Spectre · 06-27-2017, 07:41 AM

Clean up on aisle seven!, no use crying about it.

Kenna · 07-21-2017, 09:40 PM

My roommate yelling from the other room "STOP LICKING MY SHEETS, THAT'S NOT A LOLLIPOP!!"

Blade · 07-22-2017, 06:02 PM

My feeble gentleman neighbor, eating a scoop of ice cream out of a bowl. It was piled so high he was licking it like it was a cone of ice cream. Said he hadn't had any since December. But he was happy with it today

Canela · 07-22-2017, 09:19 PM

He did...several times...I'd forgotten he could be so funny...and I kinda needed that today...

A. Spectre · 07-23-2017, 05:10 AM

Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions as Granny is spot on! Cracked up so hard.....

Kenna · 07-26-2017, 08:27 PM

How utterly in love, obsessed, wildly crazy about, and totally head-over-paws Blade's chihuahua is for him. That poor dog's world would end if anything ever happened to Blade. I think the feeling is mutual between the two.

Orema · 08-02-2017, 11:35 AM

I received a care package today from Detroit with nothing but Cheetos in it.

I'll pay her back (and will have lots of fun) when I send her a birthday package full of silly and stupid things.

AmazonDC · 08-02-2017, 12:17 PM

When I walk into work and the mountain of work is crazy.. but My manager laughs and says you can do all that in one day right lol....bahahahahaha..

Blade · 08-03-2017, 05:18 AM

Trying to explain something to someone who is to stupid to have the job they have

Kenna · 08-04-2017, 08:23 PM

My goofball best friend talking about a water buffalo.

JDeere · 08-04-2017, 09:35 PM

That some people truly have the audacity to try and square up with me... you won't win, I don't back down, stop trying.

2qt · 08-04-2017, 11:36 PM

Slipping on my backside whilst holding a cup off coffee & not spilling a single drop..... Now that's dedication.... lol @ me.....

Blade · 08-05-2017, 01:47 PM

The Tractor Supply manager. I bought a battery operated pole saw. The box did not indicate if there was bar/chain oil in the box. Most items like this come with at least a small bottle.

I ask the cashier did she know if there was any in the box, she held the whole box up in the air, like she was doing a price check on a box of tampons, and yelled does this come with oil. The manager yelled back, it's electric, you don't need oil.

I glanced at the guy behind me and he was chuckling I began chuckling. To whom it may concern, even electric chain saws need bar/chain oil.

CherryWine · 07-23-2017, 12:59 PM

Kenna · 07-24-2017, 08:09 PM

On his way to the truck, "come'ere, I need your help"
Me: What for??? I'm out here in my nightgown.
Him: So am I.
Me:

Well that's a post for what cracked me up today, you in a nightgown.

(watching him walk away from me in his shorts and sleeveless top.)

bright_arrow · 07-24-2017, 11:00 PM

Referring to a HUGE daddy long leg on the ceiling: "See baby, it's okay to have a second daddy in the house when I'm gone!"

Gayandgray · 07-25-2017, 02:04 PM

The reaction of the door-to-door salesman who came to my front door after he saw my 3 growling Boston Terriers thru the storm door window, and when he noticed the security camera and realized he was being videotaped. It was hilarious!! He grabbed his chest like he was having a heart attack and jumped back and started stuttering all over the place. He put his hands up to cover his face from the camera and tried to yell over my insanely loud, barking dogs about the "frozen food" he was selling. Why he didn't want his face to be seen on camera, I have no idea? But little does he know the security camera had already picked him up as he pulled in our driveway, and as he walked up the long, winding wheelchair ramp. His truck had no identification on it advertising frozen food. I told him politely we weren't interested and he hurried off.

homoe · 07-25-2017, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gayandgray

The reaction of the door-to-door salesman who came to my front door after he saw my 3 growling Boston Terriers thru the storm door window, and when he noticed the security camera and realized he was being videotaped. It was hilarious!! He grabbed his chest like he was having a heart attack and jumped back and started stuttering all over the place. He put his hands up to cover his face from the camera and tried to yell over my insanely loud, barking dogs about the "frozen food" he was selling. Why he didn't want his face to be seen on camera, I have no idea? But little does he know the security camera had already picked him up as he pulled in our driveway, and as he walked up the long, winding wheelchair ramp. His truck had no identification on it advertising frozen food. I told him politely we weren't interested and he hurried off.

OMG this cracked me up !!

06-25-2017, 08:49 AM	#2
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,387 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,130 Thanked 40,950 Times in 10,737 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	The bird that flew into the house thru the hole in the window. It fluttered in my hair. .... See that hole? Yeah, look... Shenanigans I say! __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

06-27-2017, 07:41 AM	#3
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,075 Times in 1,495 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Clean up on aisle seven!, no use crying about it. __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

07-21-2017, 09:40 PM	#4
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,193 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My roommate yelling from the other room "STOP LICKING MY SHEETS, THAT'S NOT A LOLLIPOP!!" __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

07-22-2017, 06:02 PM	#5
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	My feeble gentleman neighbor, eating a scoop of ice cream out of a bowl. It was piled so high he was licking it like it was a cone of ice cream. Said he hadn't had any since December. But he was happy with it today __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

07-22-2017, 09:19 PM	#6
Canela Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Babe, she, her, ella Relationship Status: Well loved… Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Texas Posts: 2,375 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,644 Thanked 6,505 Times in 1,694 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	He did...several times...I'd forgotten he could be so funny...and I kinda needed that today... __________________ . . . . . Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

06-25-2017, 06:00 AM	#1
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,831 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Drunk people and karaoke.....

07-23-2017, 05:10 AM	#7
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,075 Times in 1,495 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions as Granny is spot on! Cracked up so hard..... __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

07-26-2017, 08:27 PM	#8
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,193 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	How utterly in love, obsessed, wildly crazy about, and totally head-over-paws Blade's chihuahua is for him. That poor dog's world would end if anything ever happened to Blade. I think the feeling is mutual between the two. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

08-02-2017, 11:35 AM	#9
Orema Superlative Soul Sister How Do You Identify?: Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Moving in a single file Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Cottage of Content Posts: 13,600 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 41,439 Thanked 34,690 Times in 8,936 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	It's on ... I received a care package today from Detroit with nothing but Cheetos in it. I'll pay her back (and will have lots of fun) when I send her a birthday package full of silly and stupid things.

08-02-2017, 12:17 PM	#10
AmazonDC Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: DC Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: colorado Posts: 499 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 346 Thanked 1,485 Times in 430 Posts Rep Power: 13453158	When I walk into work and the mountain of work is crazy.. but My manager laughs and says you can do all that in one day right lol....bahahahahaha..

08-03-2017, 05:18 AM	#11
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Trying to explain something to someone who is to stupid to have the job they have __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

08-04-2017, 08:23 PM	#12
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,193 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My goofball best friend talking about a water buffalo. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

08-04-2017, 09:35 PM	#13
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,835 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	That some people truly have the audacity to try and square up with me... you won't win, I don't back down, stop trying. __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

08-04-2017, 11:36 PM	#14
2qt Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her.. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Mothership Posts: 873 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 861 Thanked 1,966 Times in 582 Posts Rep Power: 15312203	Slipping on my backside whilst holding a cup off coffee & not spilling a single drop..... Now that's dedication.... lol @ me.....

08-05-2017, 01:47 PM	#15
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	The Tractor Supply manager. I bought a battery operated pole saw. The box did not indicate if there was bar/chain oil in the box. Most items like this come with at least a small bottle. I ask the cashier did she know if there was any in the box, she held the whole box up in the air, like she was doing a price check on a box of tampons, and yelled does this come with oil. The manager yelled back, it's electric, you don't need oil. I glanced at the guy behind me and he was chuckling I began chuckling. To whom it may concern, even electric chain saws need bar/chain oil. __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

07-23-2017, 12:59 PM	#16
CherryWine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian femme Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The Deep South Posts: 2,491 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,060 Thanked 10,007 Times in 2,182 Posts Rep Power: 21474847

07-24-2017, 08:09 PM	#17
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,193 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My goofball roommate while we were outside.... On his way to the truck, "come'ere, I need your help" Me: What for??? I'm out here in my nightgown. Him: So am I. Me: Well that's a post for what cracked me up today, you in a nightgown. (watching him walk away from me in his shorts and sleeveless top.) __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

07-24-2017, 11:00 PM	#18
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: nor cal Posts: 2,910 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,644 Thanked 9,363 Times in 2,296 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Referring to a HUGE daddy long leg on the ceiling: "See baby, it's okay to have a second daddy in the house when I'm gone!"

07-25-2017, 02:04 PM	#19
Gayandgray Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme-ish, tomboy lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Together a really long time Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: In my mind? On a tropical island Posts: 4,862 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,584 Thanked 12,883 Times in 3,081 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	The reaction of the door-to-door salesman who came to my front door after he saw my 3 growling Boston Terriers thru the storm door window, and when he noticed the security camera and realized he was being videotaped. It was hilarious!! He grabbed his chest like he was having a heart attack and jumped back and started stuttering all over the place. He put his hands up to cover his face from the camera and tried to yell over my insanely loud, barking dogs about the "frozen food" he was selling. Why he didn't want his face to be seen on camera, I have no idea? But little does he know the security camera had already picked him up as he pulled in our driveway, and as he walked up the long, winding wheelchair ramp. His truck had no identification on it advertising frozen food. I told him politely we weren't interested and he hurried off. __________________