Caregivers and Stress

[Chad]

I am struggling to find balance these days.

My dad raised me to be a provider and handyman. Work ethic was rule number one in my dad's eyes. I can fix mom's car, fix her home, take care of her yard work but caregiver is not easy for me.

I will do the best that I can with my limited experience and ask for help when needed. Asking for help is hard but it will become necessary somtimes.

My goal is to keep mom healthy and happy.

[girl_dee]

Thank you all for posting.

This is definitely a free space to unload and let it go!

i am so tired of feeling guilty for how i feel. Someone once told me that blood doesn't matter when it comes to relationships. If this were anyone else in the world, i would never have put up with this for so long. But because of who she is to me, i do.

It's funny because my mom does not have maternal feelings for her children. It doesn't bother her at all to disown us. Isn't that crazy?

[Chained Daisy]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Thank you all for posting.

This is definitely a free space to unload and let it go!

i am so tired of feeling guilty for how i feel. Someone once told me that blood doesn't matter when it comes to relationships. If this were anyone else in the world, i would never have put up with this for so long. But because of who she is to me, i do.

It's funny because my mom does not have maternal feelings for her children. It doesn't bother her at all to disown us. Isn't that crazy?

Crazy it is dee, it always amazes me how we manage to be so manipulated and made to feel such guilt for the slightest thing by someone who feels not an ounce of guilt for the endless distress they inflict on us.

[Teddybear]

My mom and I spoke and at the time isn't think she heard me but she did.

She spoke with both my brothers and told them that once a month one of them would be coming to stay with her so I could have some time. She also agreed that when my gf is in town we get at least one day to ourselves.

Now let's see how it pans out

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Teddybear

My mom and I spoke and at the time isn't think she heard me but she did.

She spoke with both my brothers and told them that once a month one of them would be coming to stay with her so I could have some time. She also agreed that when my gf is in town we get at least one day to ourselves.

Now let's see how it pans out

Oh this could be good!

[girl_dee]

My mom decided yesterday that she is going to move out here with me. She hates the entire state of Louisiana and says she wants to.be here. Two days ago she said she is never moving again and disowned me for causing her grief. Now i am.her best friend because she wants something. Ugghh the emotions!

She is staying with my aunt, and not in the new apartment that she just had them move her to.

It took me three months to get her out of my house and into her apartment which was 30 feet out my back door. She just insisted that she should be able to stay IN my house. She doesn't care that she's in the way and invading other people's space. She wants to be under the same roof and live on the couch.

We warned my aunt.

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by Teddybear

My mom and I spoke and at the time isn't think she heard me but she did.

She spoke with both my brothers and told them that once a month one of them would be coming to stay with her so I could have some time. She also agreed that when my gf is in town we get at least one day to ourselves.

Now let's see how it pans out

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


O both brothers showed up today to help me move my stuff out of my apartment and back to storage.

My baby brothers car broke down( how convenient). My middle brother, his wife and Momma took him home. I was left alone at home. Seems the family meeting we were going to have just evaporated, however I made sure to have a talk with each bother and momma was there. Seems she has told them when I wasn't there that I only needed 2-3 hours once a month. I made sure they were told that wasn't true. My baby brother has a chip on his shoulder about having to come down and spend a weekend every other month.

Funny how my mom was complaining about the drive from here to Atlanta and back here however she got really ticked when it was suggested that she stay home to take M back home. So everyone agreed to let her go.

She has called me 3 times since they have left been gone about 3 hours. I asked her are yall going to dinner her answer not yet. I said ok but are you. She just couldn't tell me without making a big deal out of it. I told her I just wanted to know so I could go get something to eat. She finally said yes they were.

I can see now that if things don't change I wont be here long. I am starting to feel like this was everyones plan without letting me know All that does is make me feel used.

[Chad]

Today's lunch with mom has me concerned. She was an hour early for lunch, she keeps getting time mixed up and missing doctor appointments, and today she created alternate facts about a trip that we took.

I am concerned.

[homoe]

Originally Posted by Chad

Today's lunch with mom has me concerned. She was an hour early for lunch, she keeps getting time mixed up and missing doctor appointments, and today she created alternative facts about a trip that we took.

I am concerned.

I can relate Chad ...It's so hard to watch parents as they age. We tend to remember them from our child's eye.

[Chained Daisy]

Originally Posted by Chad

Today's lunch with mom has me concerned. She was an hour early for lunch, she keeps getting time mixed up and missing doctor appointments, and today she created alternate facts about a trip that we took.

I am concerned.

That is a worry. When I was in a similar situation I found the challenge was to work out of it was par for the course as my Father aged or if it was the first signs of dementia. All I could really do was watch and wait and offer support when needed. It always amazes me how the years can take their toll on some and others stay bright as a button to the very end. Life is a lottery.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Chad

Today's lunch with mom has me concerned. She was an hour early for lunch, she keeps getting time mixed up and missing doctor appointments, and today she created alternate facts about a trip that we took.

I am concerned.

Yes you are strong, and you will need to be, this isn't for the weak thats for sure.

Hang in there, Chad

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Teddybear

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


O both brothers showed up today to help me move my stuff out of my apartment and back to storage.

My baby brothers car broke down( how convenient). My middle brother, his wife and Momma took him home. I was left alone at home. Seems the family meeting we were going to have just evaporated, however I made sure to have a talk with each bother and momma was there. Seems she has told them when I wasn't there that I only needed 2-3 hours once a month. I made sure they were told that wasn't true. My baby brother has a chip on his shoulder about having to come down and spend a weekend every other month.

Funny how my mom was complaining about the drive from here to Atlanta and back here however she got really ticked when it was suggested that she stay home to take M back home. So everyone agreed to let her go.

She has called me 3 times since they have left been gone about 3 hours. I asked her are yall going to dinner her answer not yet. I said ok but are you. She just couldn't tell me without making a big deal out of it. I told her I just wanted to know so I could go get something to eat. She finally said yes they were.

I can see now that if things don't change I wont be here long. I am starting to feel like this was everyones plan without letting me know All that does is make me feel used.

This cannot be much fun for you. So sorry!

[Chad]

[quote=girl_dee;1153136][COLOR="Navy"]This cannot be much fun for you. So sorry!

Pardon me, I made a mistake.