Breaking it down - describe the Femme that you are

[aussiebaby]

I am in a crowd, perfect in red, heels six inches, lipstick set like cement, powder without a blemish, hair in curls, hands on purse, talking theatre, talking news, cross-legged, fingers on the wine glass.

I am alone, on the couch, cotton undies, knee-high socks, glasses, Supernatural DVDs, no makeup, hair a mess, covered in oreo crumbs, counting the calories, wishing my jeans still fit, ordering pizza.

Glamorous as fuck.

[~baby~doll~]

i am femme in all things. i identify in the traditional feminine role totally
i wear dresses or skirts full makeup and five of six inch heels all the time
i am submissive, caring, kind and good listener who is prone to empathic tears.
i am a baby grrl or doll. i can become a gothic grrl or leather grrl at any time.
my role is always bottom in the bedroom my life is to be pleasing sexually in every way.
i am relaxed and friendly.
i am intelligent in the areas i need to be.
i can be political but tend not to be. i am very liberal in all ways when i do play political games.
i work to improve my skill set. i am learning to sew, quilt and knit.
i tend the home by cleaning cooking and so on.
there is a spirituality about me which is non religious
i can be silly, giggly, humorous and serious if needed.
MISTRESS and Mistress are the heads of the house i do serve their needs in every way possible.
i have always seen the femme role as being able to adapt and be all things to all people and this is my goal to be able top transform who i am to fit the needs of the Dominant personalities. femme to me is giving up self for the betterment of family, home, and society.
Femininity is part of my being. i am one with it and happy being the queer woman i am. When a person is content you know it is right and good for that person. i am content in this role it fits very well.

[Katniss]

I am a femme who...

Likes my beaches deserted
My wineglass full
My kayak right side up
The only thing "hello kitty' about my household is the morning greeting to my cat.


Katniss~~

[pinkajl]

I am an old-fashioned femme who likes my doors opened for me, especially when we're in the midst of an argument because it helps to ground me back to the root of the dance.

I am self-sufficient. When the plumbing needs to be done or the drywall needs to be repaired, I have no problem getting the tools and doing the job myself, if no one else is available.

I am a nurturer. I've been told I'm a good cook and I like to bring people together to feed them and help develop community.

I am wicked smart but I don't equate level of education with level of intelligence. Illogical arguments irritate me. I have much respect for the person who can simply say, "I don't know" rather than think they can bluff their way through a conversation.

I am a Mamma Bear. Mess with my children, my butch, or a dear friend and there will be consequences. Mess with me and chances are I will just ignore you.

I am a fighter for justice, yet I'm not motivated by money. I will take a case pro-bono if I feel as though you are clearly the underdog and justice has yet to serve you well.

I am somewhat crunchy granola and very aware of my carbon footprint. I believe very strongly in living gently upon the Earth and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

I am a difficult person to live with. My life has been what it is and while I try to laugh and continue to be committed to self-improvement, I still have my triggers.

I am fiercely loyal to the people I trust.

I am budget conscious and insist on living within my means, with minimal to no debt. At the same time, I like nice clothes and shoes. Since I get a kick out of thrift shops and yard sales for the best bargain, I satisfy my need for fashion finds without blowing my budget.

I am a woman through and through. I know who I am, yet my identity is invisible to most people I come in contact with. I gain my strength by proudly standing next to my butch, who has faced hardships that I will never have in my life. Together, we nurture one another to be the best possible people we can be.

[sofimichi]

I am very self-conscious.
I have an eating disorder.
I have low self esteem.

I have a fiance who makes me happy, but no one else knows me like she does.
I sometimes struggle to tell her the truth about everything.
I like to keep quiet so people can't read my emotions.

I feel that everyone needs to hate me, and when they don't, I think they are stupid.
I love to take care of people.
I work with people every day, and it is okay for me.

I am very independent, but seek a life of dependency.
I am very boring.

[Londen]

I'm super femmy!

I prefer to have doors held for me and chairs pulled out, I'd rather not wear the pants in the relationship although I could but it would deffinatly rub me the wrong way deffintaly wouldn't work out. I feel that people think that being femme is a style as if it depends on how much makeup you wear or how high your heels are, to me it's a feeling it's literally who I am
You can take away my heels and makeup and whatever else and I'll still feel the same. I'll still like florals and lace and still want someone else to carry the heavy bags. That doesn't mean I won't do it for myself I mean I'm a kurvy girl and I've been raised by a bunch of guys, people tend to think that just because I'm bigger that it makes me more masculine and it really offends me :/ like deeply :/
I like getting my nails done and spending hours in sephora ^^ I'm kind of old fashioned I guess, I like cooking and baking and for some reason I find cleaning satisfying ^^ I'm into crafting and home making, super eco friendly! ^^ I love reading a good book and I enjoy writing, I've been told I'm good but who knows?
I'd honestly rather someone else take the reins, maybe it's because I've never had that happen, like I said people assume that because I rock an affro occasionaly and I'm a size 16 and I don't wear heels all the time that I'm not femme? Like since when has that defined us? or me for that matter. I'm ranting yes, don't judge me lol. I suppose I'm into classic roles you know? I prefer to do the cooking and the cleaning for some odd reason I like housework? lol Although I'd still want to keep my job ^^ er my future job lol

I used to feel SUPER guilty that I prefer women more masculine than myself (i.e. Butches,stone butches,deisal dykes, ect.) my friends (my "friends" in the community) tried to convince me when I was just coming out that what I really wanted was a man like ugh no thanks I'm so glad I'm over that. How is this relevant to the topic? well I feel like if I didn't like masculine women that I wouldn't be as feminine?

I'm into entertaining ^^ I love cooking for people goodness forbid if you tell me your hungry lol I am pretty self sufficiant, I can stand on my own 2 feet I've only been doing is since I was like 8. I have a big personality ^^ Except when it comes to relationships then I can be pretty submissive, well I prefer to be, It makes me happy? I know that must sound super strange but it does make me happy to please others especially my mate in which ever way they require:}

My home is literally my castle, it's always been a dream of mine to be a princess since I was little ^^ but yes my home is my castle I spend hours organzinng, cleaning, primping and pressing until it's perfect for myself and my mate and my family :}

I just got out of the habit of wearing makeup, (althogh I am getting back into it just because I like it, especially eye makeup!!! ^^) I used to wear it to hide or to "fit in" because I was misinformed that that's what being a femme is all about and because that's what I thought people wanted, that it made me "prettier" and it may be true but if you want to be with me, well I don't wake up with flawless skin and cat eyes so get used to the natural me, that's the truly femenine part :}

I suffer from PCOS which can be a very debilitating blow to your femininity :/ the symptoms are so hard to deal with, you grow hair in places you don't want, you gain weight you don't want, you can become infertile and theres absolutly no cure :/ :{ which makes my femininity THAT much more important to me. I literally have to fight for it in every aspect of my life.

Idk anyway I'm a flower power, little black dress wearing, cake baking, pink fuzzy slipper toting, yet still has no problem getting her hands dirty kurvy brown little femme :}

[Lady Pamela]

I just wanted to bump this thread because of how wonderful and insightful and raw it is. Many others have posted here and I wanted to bring it upfront so the amazing things they have said can be seen.
Also, in hopes of seeing others post as well...similes

[GeeGina]

I originally struggled with being so very femme. When I first came out in college, my understanding that we must reject what was described to me as the "paternistic/cisgendered" idea of what a woman ought to be. Problem was, that while I rocked my flannel and shapeless jeans, I missed my pedicures and ached for the feel of a sundress on a warm July day.

Then I met someone who simply said "be the woman you want to be with no apologies" and leave it to the world to figure it out. That advice made perfect sense because just as I won't make excuses for my preference, neither will for how I express myself.

That said, I still like to shave my head in the summer and will occasionally smoke a very big cigar. Beyond that, I'm that chick - a word I never object to - who likes to dress up for a date and will endlessly try on shoes while you hold my bags. I'll spend hours preparing great meals and I'm that girl who walks in the room at just the right time with a giant tray of homemade snacks during Sunday football.

I will wear lingerie and old and oversized concert/college t-shirts to bed. I will take my time getting ready for a date and I will sneak out of bed early to brush my teeth if it looks like my partner is an early riser.

I enjoy the chase and while I value a partner who's up for the pursuit, I don't play too hard to get. I'm mostly a bottom, but take pride in being able to please my partner and see to their needs just as well as they see to mine.

I take care of myself and make my own way in the world, but I still like it when my partner makes me feel safe, secure, and maybe a little spoiled too.

I'm always finding - and occasionally blurring - the fine line between indulgence and discipline. I work out and stay fit, but will eat ice cream right out of the container when I surrender to impulse.

I'm not a bitch - but I'm not a pushover, either. Don't mess with my spice rack, my heart, or my people. Do that, and you get the fangs and claws.

I'm outgoing and make really good first impressions, plus I try really hard to be arm candy for the right occasions.

I like dating people who are older than me. Some of my best dates began with "I don't normally date women your age, but..."

I am a loving daughter and doting auntie...but I'm not sure motherhood is for me.

I like it when you hold the door for me...or surprise me in the shower.

I purr...and I roar.

[Selenay]

I'm a femme.
Except when I don't feel like being a femme.
But don't you dare ever say that I'm not.

[silkepus]

I’ve struggled for some time with my femme identity. I wasn’t sure I was even a lesbian until I stumbled upon butches/studs/bois/masculine of center lesbians and something in me just went- yes, yes please.

So at first I thought I had to be femme because, I was attracted to butches. But that kind of annoyed me. I don’t want to take on an identity that’s only based on who I fancy. So I’ve read up a lot on butch/femme dynamics and identities, but I have yet to find a clear reason to why, apart from my butchfancies I should label myself a femme.

I know who I am as a person. I'm bookish and kind of nerdy. I like some girly things like dresses and baking and adorable things as well as using the word adorable (a lot). But I also like traditionally masculine things, like camping and fishing. I prefer blue to pink, I prefer barefoot to heels.

There isn’t anything especially about me that would stand out as femme or feminine, I look like your average 23 soon to be 24 year old.

I think the reason I identify as femme is simply because it sits right with me. When I heard the word and found out about it all, something just felt right.

I read somewhere, although I don’t remember quite where, that femme is finding a way to be a girl that doesn’t hurt. Something about that really gets me.

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by silkepus

I’ve struggled for some time with my femme identity. I wasn’t sure I was even a lesbian until I stumbled upon butches/studs/bois/masculine of center lesbians and something in me just went- yes, yes please.

So at first I thought I had to be femme because, I was attracted to butches. But that kind of annoyed me. I don’t want to take on an identity that’s only based on who I fancy. So I’ve read up a lot on butch/femme dynamics and identities, but I have yet to find a clear reason to why, apart from my butchfancies I should label myself a femme.

I know who I am as a person. I'm bookish and kind of nerdy. I like some girly things like dresses and baking and adorable things as well as using the word adorable (a lot). But I also like traditionally masculine things, like camping and fishing. I prefer blue to pink, I prefer barefoot to heels.

There isn’t anything especially about me that would stand out as femme or feminine, I look like your average 23 soon to be 24 year old.

I think the reason I identify as femme is simply because it sits right with me. When I heard the word and found out about it all, something just felt right.

I read somewhere, although I don’t remember quite where, that femme is finding a way to be a girl that doesn’t hurt. Something about that really gets me.

Let me tell u that just cause u lime t camp or fish or whatever else that DOESN'T mean ur less femme then the next femme

How U see yourself is ALL that matters. You don't have to have a reason or find one. U r who u R

[Erryl]

I'm a laid back, occasional-femme.

I'm a stay at home mom to our daughter who is 12. Most days I'm in pajamas/comfy clothes all day. On days my beautiful occasional-butch wife takes us out I usually dress up. Jeans and a tee to pencil skirt and pumps kinda wardrobe going on here. If I'm in a skirt or dress, I'm in makeup.

There's no real roles in our house. We all do girly home-spa days and makeovers. My wife is the cook. I'm the clean. We are both kinda in the middle of the butch-femme scale, the wife is just slightly farther on the butch side and I'm slightly farther on the femme side. I totally just pictured us standing on a scale.. ew. scales and chubs like me don't mix.