Breaking it down - describe the Femme that you are

[gaea]

sometime i think i am...

I love doing my own nails as much as having them done in the shop, i love the way i feel spoiled when i can go to the shop and have them done.I love them long and I love that they are mine.

I despise shopping just to shop i need a purpose. I have my girly stuff all over the top of my dresser and i am just fine with that, it is where i do my makeup and hair every morning. That is my space just for me.

I love tanning and how my skin loves the sun..

I despise bugs in every form, i love camping please dont remind me there are bugs and we will get along just fine, i can put up a tent cook, not worry about showers etc.

I have tools and know how to use them...id prefer to not break a nail using them so if i don't have to i wont.

i once called my son in law to come change my tire on a dark road , he did then when he was done he reminded me that i had AAA, i reminded him that this is what he was here for ...to change my tire besides he reached me a lot faster than AAA would have.

Im the woman in red, im the girl next door, im somewhere in the middle..Im that kind of girl.

I like road trips where i don't have to drive however am willing to share if the road trip is a long one.

I like books and movies and superb conversation...I like to talk, I like to share, I like listening and learning as well.

I love the ocean, the mountains and everything in between.

Im the girl one can take home to "momma" as well as the other girl lol

Im the girl that can pull off business suits and mini skirts all in the same week.

Im the kind of girl who believes in dressing properly for the occasion even if you are only going to the grocery store.

[persiphone]

i'm a few different things depending on what's going on. i'm currently tired a lot from my heavy schedule so that makes me less fun and patience for stupid is the first thing i ditch.

i know exactly what i want and what i don't want.

i chase my dreams and make them a reality, i'm that driven.

i'm attracted to kindness and anything less will make me quickly lose interest, so lower your voice....yelling just makes me deaf to you.

sure i'm girly, but playing in the dirt is too much fun.

i hope you like to eat because i express love with the creation of food.

manners. i enjoy them. find yours. especially whilst in my house or expect to be expelled from it.

i keep a fast pace so keep up....but when i'm taking time off don't rush me.

i like to laugh. i crave it.

romance shromance. ppffftttt.

i'm a tactile femme. touching, kissing, rough housing. yes please!

[Star Anise]

I noticed that my ex and I actually wear quite similar styled clothes sometimes (jeans and a V neck sweater), yet on her they look butch and on me they look femme.

I guess it does help that she wears her version on the baggier side, where as I wear mine on the tighter side. Still essentially the same outfit, with a totally different look.

So my conclusion was, that it is not just the type of clothes, but how you wear them and how you hold yourself in them.

I am a femme through and through.

[mariamma]

It's hard to say what makes me femme. I wonder just how femme I am sometimes. There are so many possible things that can make me femme but don't those things also make me a woman?
I can make a house a home. I can sew a dress. I can plan and make a dinner for 20. I am womanly. Probably the most important womanly thing I do is change those around me by listening and bearing witness to life. Does that make me femme? Not really. That skill is because I'm priestess.
I love to wear heels with dark red polish peaking out of the open-toed shoes. Gold polish works as well. I love to make a big, wonderful meal for my lover and feel her gush with appreciation and joy. Does that make me a femme? I wear skirts and dresses, smell like roses, am the one lost kids are drawn to when they want to be found and my children trust me enough to reveal all their secrets to me. That makes me a mother.
I love women. I love supporting and loving all women. Without my sisters growing up, I'd be dead or broken. My eldest sister taught me to love with an open mind and free spirit. The women in my life have made me whole. I'm proud to be a woman and love to be in my skin. I dance and am part of a local group of sisters who dance. This doesn't really make me femme but....it's close.
When I see butch or masculine women, the part of me that loves women burst out with squealing desire and sighs. I am femme because I love butch women. I love the swagger, the muscled arms, the roughened hands. I love the patchwork of tanned skin, the quick wit and charm, the clever quips. I love the bold style, the vibrant living, the proud, strident walk.
The sight of butch women makes me arch my back and watch with heady anticipation. I will inhale deeper and watch their every move. I'll adjust my skirt so I'm as appealing to the eye as possible. Sometimes I'll touch my neck unconsciously as I undress them with my mind. The sight of butch women makes me swoon and suddenly feel intoxicated with desire. I will sit, stand, pivot, walk or dance differently. I will emote differently. I will speak differently. I will flow into my most comfortable state of being. This is what makes me a femme. I am femme because I love butch women.

[Mistress]

[I am what they call a"Stem". I CAN BE EITHER STUD OR FEMME. I LIKE BEING VERY PLAYFUL AND SENSUAL AND SEXUAL AND BEING SUBMISSIVE. IN THE BEDROOM WHEN NEEDED. I CAN BE THE WIFEY TYPE AND TAKE CARE OF HOME AND THE KIDS AND RUB YOU DOWN AFTER A LONG DAY AT WORK. THEN AGAN I CAN WEAR THE PANTS AND TAKE CARE OF WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE FOR THE WOMAN IN MY LIFE. NO QUESTIONS ASKED

[Miss Scarlett]

I'm an old fashioned, old school femme who loves OFOS Butches. I love having doors opened for me, being helped with my coat, etc.

More Suzy Homemaker than June Cleaver, I am a nurturer. Fixing and serving a nice meal and watching people enjoy it makes me a happy femme.

While the outward appearance doesn't define femme, I love all girly things. Pretty clothes, make up, manicured nails, my curls, light perfume, jewelry...I am no less femme in jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers.

I've got a bit of a tomboy streak - the result of being the only girl of 4 kids.

There's also a babygrrl component to me.

Still, I am independent and can take care of myself. Someone recently called me resilient and that made me smile. I'd never thought of myself that way but it's true.

There's more but now it's time to get ready for work. So I'll finish this later...

[Miss Scarlett]

I'm a homebody...a happy home that is a sanctuary from the storms of life is what I need.

Expensive or elaborate gifts are nice but not required...the greatest gifts are those that come from the heart and can be as simple as a twisted paperclip.

Always a lady, only revealing that "other" side of me to my partner in the privacy of our home.

A Libra, I desire balance in my life...much like water seeking its own level. My partner will be the yang to my yin.

There are only a few things I expect (in no particular order)...honesty, fidelity/loyalty, mutual respect...

Some things I cannot tolerate...infidelity, dishonesty, cruelty to animals, children or the elderly, domestic violence, yelling/screaming...

Arguments happen...they are an essential part of all healthy relationships. But I do not believe in screaming matches because it impedes listening. Discussion is my "style" if you will.

I would never hit anyone below the belt...attack their core. Treating others as I want to be treated...loving my neighbor as myself...recognizing that I am my sister/brother's keeper...accepting that the people in my life the way they are not the way I wish they were.

I am a believer in forgiveness, second chances and giving people the benefit of the doubt.

A work in progress, I'm human and hopelessly flawed. When I'm wrong, I say that I am wrong and will make amends. It's taken me a lifetime to get there and sometimes the words taste like vinegar but I own my "stuff".

I am guilty of being generous to a fault but my heart is always in the right place.

My only agenda is to be kind to others hoping that in some small way I can make this world a better place.

I am a submissive but not a doormat. I am a babygrrl but not a child or childish. I am a woman and enthusiastically embrace all facets of my femininity but I am not a Stepford Wife.

Don't be fooled...this femme is also a momma Grizzly and will protect and defend with my very life, if necessary, those whom I love.

While the majority of the time my disposition is sunny, I do have my dark, brooding moments. At those rare times I will withdraw into myself and plunge myself into writing or drawing...using the inherent tunnel vision to channel my creative energies into drawing beauty from darkness and bringing it into the light.

I'm spiritual not religious...life and everything around us is a beautiful gift from the Universe to be recognized as such, appreciated and learned from.

I am resilient...a Phoenix...a Steel Magnolia.

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

I'm an old fashioned, old school femme who loves OFOS Butches. I love having doors opened for me, being helped with my coat, etc.

More Suzy Homemaker than June Cleaver, I am a nurturer. Fixing and serving a nice meal and watching people enjoy it makes me a happy femme.

While the outward appearance doesn't define femme, I love all girly things. Pretty clothes, make up, manicured nails, my curls, light perfume, jewelry...I am no less femme in jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers.

I've got a bit of a tomboy streak - the result of being the only girl of 4 kids.

There's also a babygrrl component to me.

Still, I am independent and can take care of myself. Someone recently called me resilient and that made me smile. I'd never thought of myself that way but it's true.

There's more but now it's time to get ready for work. So I'll finish this later...

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

I am a submissive but not a doormat. I am a babygrrl but not a child or childish. I am a woman and enthusiastically embrace all facets of my femininity but I am not a Stepford Wife.

I am resilient...a Phoenix...a Steel Magnolia.

Love this.

[Sev]

I am a Virgo Femme,

I like Pink

I like Fairies

I wear make-up

I am proud

I like high heels

I can change a flat Tyre without breaking a nail

I may be all Femme but I also wear the pants

I am my own electrician, plumber, and hell I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty

I am independent, bossy and a little miss-know-it all ( that must be Virgo trait)

AND

I want doors opened for me, I demand respect and I want all the attention a Femme can get.


Thank you

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Sev

I am a Virgo Femme,

I like Pink

I like Fairies

I wear make-up

I am proud

I like high heels

I can change a flat Tyre without breaking a nail

I may be all Femme but I also wear the pants

I am my own electrician, plumber, and hell I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty

I am independent, bossy and a little miss-know-it all ( that must be Virgo trait)

AND

I want doors opened for me, I demand respect and I want all the attention a Femme can get.


Thank you

Welcome!!!

[Random]

I'm the kind of femme who cultivates a certain style... Because I want to be seen a certain way...

BUT....

If I look into the mirror and start beliving my own creation.

Then I need to change it up...

I like look frumpy... not to feel that way...


*running hand over head to make the half hawk stand up*

[VintageFemme]

I am a woman of many moods, faces, and personalities. I am a daughter, a sister, a mother, lover and friend. I am a bitch, and an angel, a saint and a whore. I am whole in all that I think and feel and yet incomplete in everything that I am. I am a mistress of nothing. I own everything I do. I am modern and old school all at the same, I believe in miracles, magick, and most of all, I believe in love. I am an artist. I am an Aquarian. I am obsessive and compulsive - I am nurturing and loving. I am an oxymoron and everyday, I am born again with the sun rising. I am the kind of femme that you can't always rely on but you can always trust in. I am the kind of femme that may let you down but I'll fall down alongside of you. I am utterly girlie and hopelessly dreamy. I live in the clouds and die in the sun. I am a contradiction, a complication and an open book. I am the kind of femme who hates to be loved yet needs it more than air.

Ev'rybody knows
That Baby's got new clothes
But lately I see her ribbons and her bows
Have fallen from her curls
She takes just like a woman, yes she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.

-Bob Dylan

[catlady]

I am the lady who loves a cat on her lap while I sip tea and read a book. I love books on nature, witchcraft, occult, science, philosophy, and especially about cats. When I'm not reading, I love creating. I love writing poetry, stories, and even educational papers. I love making crafty cute pretty items.

I go for natural beauty--no make up. I love wearing cute dresses, combat boots, and gladiator sandals. No high heels for me. Cute handbags are an addiction to me, I can never have too many bags.

I also love beautiful instrumental music. Playing my violin makes me feel magical.

[Shystonefem]

I had to think about this...

I am a stone.

I am playful.

I spend hours every week taking care of myself (working out, hair, nails, etc) because that is what makes me feel sexy and I want the person I am with to be proud of me.

I can melt a butch's heart with who I am but I can turn ICE COLD if I am hurt ...

I don't like games, cheats or liars.

I am beyond protective.... and need to feel protected too.

I don't care if someone opens the car door for me or not. I do care about opening an entry door (that is called manners).

If I want someone, I want them. I don't need them.

I am a vegetarian who cares very much about animals and the environment.

I have a huge heart and always sides (and fights) for the underdog.

I wear dresses, skirts, jeans, heels, sneakers, boots... my clothing is fairly eclectic. As long as I feel good, I'll wear it.

I despise arguing and would much rather talk things out. It takes a lot to make me yell....

I need passion in all parts of my life....

I don't fall fast but, when I fall, I fall hard.

I am attracted to strong and sexy. A butch who is confident but not cocky. There has to be that sexy vibe. The sexy vibe is easy to spot, even on here with just posts and chat. Funny is always good too.

I hate it when people think they are better than others. Nobody is better, just different.

I am extremely shy until I feel comfortable. If I am at a party, I am the one talking in a small group and not the one talking to everyone.

I am spiritual and more eclectic Pagan than anything else. Religion is a non-issue with a partner.

I have this wall..... friends have told me that they can almost see the wall go up.

I can't hide my feelings, I am pretty transparent.

Idk... I am just me

[l'Cie]

I am a Femme. Albeit a delayed one.
I am independent. Self-sufficient. Worthy. No I don't always feel that way but in the darkest part of my soul...I just know.
I am fiercely loyal. If I care about you, then I will always care about you. Even if my back bears the scars of your betrayal. Be warned though...when you stab me, I will come at you with a machete and carry on caring afterwards.
When I hurt, I hurt deeply. But my heart is ever-forgiving nonetheless.
I'm a dork. A nerd. A geek. And awfully proud of it.
I prefer a couch and cuddles to a party and love nature and all it's wonder. Except spiders. And locusts. And frogs. The trees. I like nature's trees.
I sing when I bake. I sing when I'm sad. I sing when I sketch. I love sketching. I don't know where it comes from or how it got there. But I love it.
I still use frequent hand gestures when explaining something that excites me and still make grabby hands when I see something that excites me even more (stuffies! I'm a stuffie hoarder. And games.)
I am a Gemini. Which with me, means an idea is usually followed by an even better idea (eg Take a nap...noooo let's have a cookie or four first before that nap) and laughter at inappropriate times
Exercise calms me. So does killing a hoard of demons in Diablo 3 and writing.
I love helping others. It makes me so happy. Being nice to someone just because I've been given another day to do so.

I am a totally weird introvert who's just working hard at being me

[FemmeTastic]

I always knew I wasn't like the other girls when I grew up.

At age 6 I already knew I wasn't getting married ever, and never wanted to have children either, of course, at the time I believed that marrying is something I could only do with men. Things in my perception have changed since then, and I was very happy to say yes to my handsome butch love of my life last year As a little girl, against all hopes of my mother to not raise me stereotypically female, I preferred the dolls, the glitter and the dresses over the toy train, balls and pants. She had been raised to be a girly girl and hated it, and promised herself to not do that to her own daughter one day, but I ended up being the girliest girl you could imagine, entirely voluntarily.

At age 12 I happened to watch my first movie with Butch-Femme-dynamics, (Bound - has been a favorite ever since. You might wonder, how did I get my hands on that movie at age 12, well, I grew up in Colombia and went to visit my uncle, he and I wanted to watch a movie so we went to rent one. Medellín being the criminal city it was back then, all the video rentals were closed with bars, so you had to ask for a particular movie or a genre, and they would go and find it for you and hand it to you through the bars. We asked for a mafia or thief movie hahaha, and they gave us Bound) and not even knowing of the existence of the word lesbian, at the sight of the Femme I felt admiration and a feeling of "I want to be as beautiful as her" and at the sight of the Butch, I got red glowing cheeks and for the first time felt something like arousal.

At age 17 I bravely went to lesbian parties all by myself, dolled up and wearing high heels, only to be called hetty by the other guests. Over and over again. Sometimes being refused entrance to parties with the words "Sorry this is a lesbian party". At age 18 I made the decision to never change who I am, despite the exclusion within the lesbian community; I decided to be true to myself, which is being as feminine as it gets! I proudly continued to wear my dresses amongst the feminists who would condemn me for it, accusing me of "emulating the heteronormative ideal of beauty". And despite their judgment, I continued to be an active feminist, and didn't allow my sense of beauty to be manipulated, not from straight folks and certainly not from my own ranks.

I get a lump in my throat when someone speaks disparagingly of Butches and female masculinity, when the kind of humans that happens to be one of the most beautiful to me, is under attack, I hurt. I defend Butches in their absence when that happens, although I wouldn't have to, although I get offered a bitter pill of recognition, in the form of a "compliment": "You don't look gay at all, that's really cool, I mean, not like those masculine lesbians, that's so unattractive, who wants to walk around like that."

I'm the femme who despite the looks of men which I find to be encroaching and uncomfortable, doesn't downgrade how she styles herself. My makeup, my clothes, my hair, my gestures, my movements, they are all what the masses think is some sort of act to enchant men, when it is, in fact, the absolute opposite ... I do not like men, because Femme is my identity. Woman, in the traditional sense, is to me a female that sees herself in any way in relation and contrast to man. I don't. Men as a sex don't play a role in my life. I have a few male friends, but they aren't an energy I need. My sexuality, my lifestyle, my identity, my feelings, my acts and my thinking, do not incorporate men.
Genderwise I see myself not as the counterpart to man, but to Butch.
Therefore, to me, being Femme means to remain childless. I have a different form of femininity, motherhood does not belong to me. Please understand that I'm trying to explain my gender here, I am by no means saying that a mother can't be a Femme and viceversa. Not. at. all.

I see other Femmes as my sisters, as allies rather than competitors. I can rarely have friendships with Butches because they touch/move me on a sexual, intimate level. I naturally keep a distance from Butches with whom I'm not in a relationship, affair or flirting. I can recognize a Butch with just a glance. It's the way we look at each other when we meet by chance, it is a look that says everything, and makes me feel, even if only for a moment, at home. Such moments can nourish me for years, can comfort, soothe and heal me when once again I am being marginalized on a lesbian party with words such as "what is the barbie doing here? She lost?". Or if macho lesbians grab my butt. Or grab me against my will and press their body onto mine. These moments with Butches that are marked by so much appreciation and respect, help me to remember that we exist. Although we are rare.

I am a self-sufficient, strong person. I am emotionally, financially and mentally able to provide for myself. I don't need anybody to organize my move or to screw my shelves to the wall, or to work on my tax return or to make decisions for me. Only for the cruelty free removal of spiders, that's where I take all the help I can get
My appearance is at odds with the perception people outside the B/F-community have of me. I come out in an endless loop. Again and again and again do I have to explain why I don't want to have a husband, why is my partner so masculine, why do I not at least have a girlfriend as feminine as I am...
In a world that doesn't understand any of that, I continue to follow my own heart, my own core. Undeterred by all which is thrown in my face.
Being Latina doesn't help. I have literally no Latinx community left. Being a VERY feminine woman in Colombia is expected. When I show up with my Butch partner, the looks are unbearable and make me ashamed of my community, so I want to spare my partner their bigotry.
I like my Butch to be very masculine in the way she carries herself, I love a deep voice, and a very masculine clothing style. I love the contrast between her and me. I'm very territorial when it comes to my femininity and I love how my partner doesn't show the slightest interest in any of my girly things. Not my make-up, not my perfume, not my clothes, not my jewelry.
Before coming out to myself as a Femme in relation to Butch, I used to identify as lesbian and dated lesbian women, who were sometimes only slightly less feminine than I am. It always felt wrong, it often felt like I was doing something unnatural. For ages I believed I had a severe case of internalized homophobia, until I finally understood that I wasn't feeling natural, because I just simply hadn't allowed myself to really go for the kind of person that made my knees weak and took my breath away: Butches. Ever since I stopped dating androgynous and more feminine lesbians a couple of years ago, I feel like my inside and my outside finally match. I feel like the budding flower of my soul finally bloomed.

Other than that, I'm of course packed with a thousand different qualities good and bad, but they have little to do with the Femme aspects of me, and are more about the human aspects of me. So I'll save those for another thread and another occasion, especially given the length of this post.

Thank you beautiful Femmes, for sharing your stories, your emotions and experiences here, you're such a beautiful bunch of people, reading all those entries has made me feel so proud to be a part of the Femme tribe, has made me feel honored to be amongst such gorgeous human beings.

[gotoseagrl]

It's strange to see that in 6 years, not much has changed. A few things have evolved. The older I get, the more I am humbled by life and able to see what matters and what doesn't.

I have definitely grown even more into my femininity, as far as what it means to me. My hair is the longest it's been in almost 20 years, and while it can be a mess sometimes, I like how it feels. I enjoy wearing just enough makeup to feel "pretty" without overdoing it. I literally feel much better when my nails are painted. I live and breathe my passions, and always will. I can't survive when they are stifled. I'm even more of a painful, pathetic romantic than I was before.

I like to draw swirls and other doodles. I love floral patterns, lace, pearls and vintage colors & designs, in general. I am even more obsessed with vintage and bygone eras than I was before, and I didn't think that was possible. I guess this passion has also contributed to shaping my huge passion for homemaking and old school, old-fashioned values & dynamics, which only seems to grow stronger with time.

I've also had to accept that I have a darker side, that loves Halloween & spooky things, and a lighter side that still loves many things I did as a child - from crafts to games to Disneyland. There are many things I will never outgrow. I've also learned that I don't just love nature, I need it, in whichever way I can have it. Being at the beach or by water, taking a walk in the breeze near dusk.

I love the dichotomy of complementaries. I feel less inadequate about the fact that I am stone. It hasn't been easy to reach this point. And I have a special respect and admiration for those who are unwavering with this as well. Much like my admiration for butch, male ID and trans. Anya wrote beautifully about being a harbor, and I feel the same way.

Originally Posted by *Anya*

I am the femme that is a port in the storm for the butch that has the courage to go out into an unaccepting, unforgiving world to be exactly who and what they are

Originally Posted by gotoseagrl

good thread.

hmm. i am an old spirit and always have been. there is a sensitive place in my soul for things of the past. i am attracted to people older than myself. i consider myself very femme and am fiercely attracted to butches. i am very shy (writing this is a bit difficult, but i love the topic), reserved and introverted, though i will always find a way to be direct when i feel so compelled (see quote below). i am always very polite. i warm up easily to those with whom i effortlessly connect. i am usually "the quiet one." it is easier for me to express myself through writing or touching. in a bad situation i tend to draw into my shell at first. not a chatty type, but with the right people can spend endless hours going on and on. i am a homebody, but do love traveling. i am an over-thinker. i do believe in that space between self and thought. i am extremely passionate, but am generally not an extremist. i tend to admire passions of others whether i agree with them or not. i'm deeply moved when people are simply or unexpectedly kind and thoughtful. i am open to truth and exploration. i cannot do without honesty. i love learning. i embrace diversity. i think individuality is hot and blind conformity is not. i don't believe propriety is always necessary. i find it gratifying aligning to grids, but more aesthetically pleasing when they are broken (think David Carson & April Greiman). i am a hopeless romantic who has tried fighting it as a curse (lol). i am a marshmallow. i am very submissive and i like a clearly defined dynamic in a relationship. i love intimacy. i love partnership. i love exchanging "that glance" no matter the place. subtlety can be hot. so can raw straightforwardness. music and nature are my solace. beaches (any place with water), libraries and museums are my sanctuaries. i'm a nerd. i am hypersensitive to my environment. generally don't like big crowds or loud noises for an extreme amount of time. i love minimalism over extravagance. i love simple pleasures. i love laughing to tears. i tend to find extraordinary joy or peace in the smallest or most overlooked aspects of life. sometimes i just love darkness, silence and stillness. i am not a clothing label type of person. i'd rather shop for books or art over clothes. i don't wear fake nails, mine grow naturally. i stopped wearing makeup a few years ago but shaping eyebrows and keeping lips soft are a routine. i dress casually most of the time, but do enjoy dressing up whenever i have to. love boho style clothing and jewelry, though the only particular fashion i tend to adhere to is comfort. i love wearing long, comfy skirts, especially while treading on the shore or relaxing somewhere. i love dressing for fall & winter. i don't think i'll ever let my hair grow past my shoulders again. i prefer alternatives to fancy purses. i can be ready in less than an hour. i generally despise materialistic fluff. i don't like facades. i am a realist who loves to escape. i feel as though there are uncharted parts of my soul and can strongly sense things & places i've never truly experienced before. i am sincere.