Breaking it down - describe the Femme that you are

[Kätzchen]

Originally Posted by Kätzchen

I am Femme

My femme identity is marked by death-defying logic that embraces a kaleidoscope of many social constructions.

I revel in all that I am able to learn about: by either listening to or reading up on a plethora of subjects.

The more I know, the better I feel. I learn in different ways – mostly I learn by observation – noticing complexity in the way people choose to behave or communicate and because of my ardent desire to understand as fully as possible, I’ve spent most of my life in the background – not desiring foreground recognition.

I don’t need anyone to validate who I am.

I am also a mother to two sons and while it would seem that the male side of the population longs to oppress and dress down female bodied human beings, I will abandon my love for being in the background and will come out of the woodwork, with an undeniable force, and return your egregious soul to the place it belongs.

I’m a lover.

I’m a fighter.

I’m quiet; yet when I have something to say, I make sure I am heard.

I’m loyal, but when I discover non-reciprocal, inequitable relationship processes, I will cut you out of my life.

I am a survivor of many forms of abuse. I believe in checking up on my own boundary systems – because I tend to welcome exploration and discovery of things I have no knowledge of. Mostly, I feel that the wiggle room I allow for my boundaries is managed judiciously.

If I choose to share my power with you, I expect you to honor my power, as I will yours.

I like to pamper myself - my indulgences, proclivities include: wearing makeup (or not), keeping my hair coiffed beautifully, keeping my hands and feet well taken care of, and sleeping as long as I feel led to do so because I do tend to require lots of sleep – especially if I have had to stay up for long periods of time to get my duties accomplished.

I am sensual. My appetite for having sex still exists – I crave closeness, reciprocal levels of intimacy – before my sexual fire can be lit and rage out of control. My Femme being is of a Queer orientation.

I desire and require your full attention.

I am intelligent and my range of intelligence will surprise you.

I have been my best friend and confidante for years now and I care deeply for myself and how I am treated.

I am sensitive.

I can also be heartless, cold, insensitive and unfeeling, when the occasion calls for me to be this way.

I am passionate.

I am filled with compassion.

I am filled with humility by my lack of perfection and ability to be perfect.

My Femme perfection is a potent elixir. Not everyone is able to tolerate the taste of me.

But I am loved. I do love. I am liked for who I am. I am also disliked and I am okay with that.

I’m an assessor and I evaluate and process at a relentless pace. I’m also known to shut down and wall out distraction, noise that keeps me from hearing what I need to hear.

I’m fearless.

I’m not afraid to die. I have died on numerous occasions. I choose to live in the present moment.

I am known to wonder and revel in that which is deliciously intoxicating.

I am artistic – I love to draw, sing, play music, listen to music, paint, create sculpture – I appreciate art in all the forms I have discovered and enjoyed.

I love to cook foods and prepare sumptuous meals.

I am reserved, sometimes shy. I am highly expressive under the right conditions. I am very communicative. I am expert in my field of communication.

I surprise myself and others.

I am a precious gift, unwrap me with care.

Adore me, cherish me, and recognize me as the Goddess I am, for I am: Femme.

Seven years ago, on May 28th @ approximately 4:30 in the afternoon, I wrote about the Femme in me. Everything I wrote about describes me in ways that still hold true today.

[Femmewench]

Casual mainly - I can dress up, but prefer that to mean lingerie rather than heels and hose. I don't like heels. I'm sandals or crocs or a pair of dancing ankle boots.
I'm a true Taurus - stubborn. I have an easier time saying "you're right" than "I'm wrong."
I'm a high school drop out which you'd never guess.
I'm an introvert for my energy and still somewhat shy. Much less so now than 20-30 years ago.
I can make myself blush completely unintentionally. Sometimes I truly don't hear the double entendre until after I've said it.
I blush fairly easily for 58. I used to think you outgrew blushing.
I'm not big on makeup. I've never used foundation as I'm just fine with my blemishes.
I have a very good memory. Being told to suck in my tummy when I was 10. Being told someone had a good dermatologist who could deal with the blotch near my eye in my 40s. Self image is a struggle, but not enough of one that I didn't ask the woman with the dermatologist why she thought I'd go to one.
I find confrontation uncomfortable (thanks mom.) To my detriment, I'd rather ignore some things for the sake of my comfort level. But there is a limit.
I'm unwilling to go to sleep angry.
I overanalyze.
I take people at face value and haven't been burned for it.
I've never wanted children and have had none, but I'm very nurturing.
I'm a masochist who has a low pain threshold, until I'm flying on endorphins.
I've fought my submissive side most of my life, but now am more open to it.
I bought Variations magazine in my teens and knew I was not nilla.
I knew at 14 I liked girls and knew that wasn't safe.
I'm the world's best represser as I rediscovered liking girls at 37.
I thought I was asexual in between which made no sense to me.
I actually asked a therapist if there was anything wrong with being happy I was a lesbian.
My first 4th of July with a beach picnic put on by a dyke motorcycle group I was told I wouldn't have been picked up to be taken to the beach (had to park far away) as I didn't look like a lesbian. Stupid woman - her, not me.
As soon as I came out, I went to the gay bookstore and bought them out. Persistent Desire was a godsend.
There are shiny things and squirrels in my world on a fairly frequent basis.
I love painted toenails and fingernails.
I'm adopted and pro-choice. Had I ever become pregnant, abortion would have been my option.
I have only ever been attracted to those on the butch end of the scale. It's the required energy to make parts of me come to life - and that's my grey matter which controls other parts as well.
I enjoy having the door held open for me and have no problem holding the door open for others. If I don't get an acknowledgment for doing so, I'm prone to telling them "you're welcome" in a loud tone of voice.
I said thank you to the man who stole my wallet because he let me go ahead of him in a turn style. Manners count.
I can swear and do, but mostly not where I can be overheard.
I kill spiders without hesitation and can kill cockroaches but prefer to let someone else do that if possible.
I'm learning to change the oil on my generator.
I love to cook for friends. and lovers. I love the sense of community that can generate. I love taking care of you and being taken care of.
There's more of course, but some things should be left to discover.
Oh - I don't have femme friends in r/t. They're few and far between. I'd like some though.

[girl_dee]

i am simple but complex (like a daisy)
i am wiser- learning from past mistakes
i love deeply when i do love
i love to take care of those i love
i don't trust easily
i don't always feel that i am enough "femme"
i adore my femme sisters
i appreciate the struggle of butches
i despise feeling like an invisible femme
i am an introvert, but once i am out there i tend to have a good time
i have learned to embrace my submissiveness as part of me rather than try to make it fit to someone else's idea of what i should be.

[Licious]

This is a great question.

I am casual usually, some of that is just practical, due to health issues. Always was a jeans and knit top kind of a gal anyway.

Prefer flat sandals to heels. Like tennies if doing a lot of walking. Heels very limited, again health is part of that. But only part.

I am a casual femme, a practical femme.

But in relationships, I am aware of feeling "girly" whatever that is.

I love my lipstick, eye makeup, I love perfume, I love my toenail polish.

Hands, short nails, clear polish, practical.

I admire a strong butch who can fix things. Sometimes I can fix something and it gives me satisfaction. But that's not so much my thing.

I like to pamper a sweetheart. Fuss over them a little, and make them feel comfortable.

I am not rigid on roles, but I knew early on that maybe I wasn't a typical androgynous gay woman. That was so popular when I came out. But I got tired of plaid, and in private I kept putting on makeup and sparkly toenail polish.

I was attracted to women who were decidedly more tomboyish than I was.

I do like the occasional dress and lingerie and when I date someone who appreciates my makeup and girly ways, it makes me so happy.

I was pleased when I ran across some sites for butch/femme people in the 2000s. I thought I was some kind of bizarre anomaly for a long time.

So, not a high femme, not a tomboy femme...I made up my own name for it.

Humorously: Suburban Housewife Femme. Yup.