How Do You Self-Identify...and why.

[Tuff Stuff]

To strangers,i'm a stone butch.With my wife,she gets to play.. and it's different each time.

[Kätzchen]

I identify as Femme (my gender). And, for the longest time, I refused to speak about my sexual identity, which my sexual identity is bisexual, by nature: But because most people I've encountered in life tend to have internalized stereotyped beliefs about my type of sexual identity, I've not been very public about it socially, UNLESS it involves talking about it in unvarnished ways and in terms which, in my life experience, has not always been easy for other people to understand.

What's important to me is that my gender and sexual identity is not up for debate (full stop).

For example, one type of stereotype I encounter is that people think that those who claim bisexual identity is that bisexual individuals sleep with every proverbial 'Tom, Dick or Harry'.
I'm living proof that I don't sleep around, nor have I had an outrageous list of anonymous sexual encounters. In fact, it's the opposite for me. I've only had a handful (or less) of romantic partners. Another fact about me is that I don't like partnering with anyone who practices BDSM. Another fact about me is that I am not polyarmorous either. In fact, I'm monogamous in my romantic and sexual proclivities.

I'm Femme......and I'm fierce. Fierce in my identity and fierce about who I am.

[lisa93]

femme lesbian

[JDeere]

Butch Asshole and trust me my friends who have known me for 10 plus years will tell you, it fits me!

[RockOn]

I am a stone butch extrovert who has intentionally cloned myself into the disguise of a stone butch introvert ... introvert works better for me in real life ... attention can be a burden ... my trust in the human race has fallen by the wayside ...this deliberate self-assigned introvert status seems (for me) to employ more of a type of indescribable peace within, decreases emotional liabilities ... another added feature -->> it lessens confusion and the tiresome task of trying to read people in the sense of noticing how their words match their actions because there lies the real truth --->> words vs. actions ...do they match??

I am far happier now than I have ever been in my life.

It is here! Happy Friday!

[Ascot]

I've always liked dyke. (and dykes) There's something almost old fashioned about it, and that it's been hurled as an epithet also holds appeal. I suppose it's that ol' reclamation thing. Lesbian has always sounded a bit clinical to me. I've no issue with anyone else using it, but in reference to myself, not so much. When I was a lot younger I guess used it mostly owing to my limited vernacular, and switched to dyke as comfort within my own queer skin grew. I also like queer a lot because it's broad. I'm gay, I'm strange, sometimes I think I'm a bit of a gay man. It fits. Of course there's also Butch, but I think I'm more selective in the use of that one. In this community there's no explanation needed. Out there ---> I don't always feel like having to explain it. I might say something like, "It's a good thing I'm butchy because with feet this big I'd have to shop where drag queens do, and all my shoes would be 6" patent leather stilletos". Most nonqueer people can figure that out contextually.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Ascot

I've always liked dyke. (and dykes) There's something almost old fashioned about it, and that it's been hurled as an epithet also holds appeal. I suppose it's that ol' reclamation thing. Lesbian has always sounded a bit clinical to me. I've no issue with anyone else using it, but in reference to myself, not so much. When I was a lot younger I guess used it mostly owing to my limited vernacular, and switched to dyke as comfort within my own queer skin grew. I also like queer a lot because it's broad. I'm gay, I'm strange, sometimes I think I'm a bit of a gay man. It fits. Of course there's also Butch, but I think I'm more selective in the use of that one. In this community there's no explanation needed. Out there ---> I don't always feel like having to explain it. I might say something like, "It's a good thing I'm butchy because with feet this big I'd have to shop where drag queens do, and all my shoes would be 6" patent leather stilletos". Most nonqueer people can figure that out contextually.

i feel the same way about *dyke*. i get in the broad spectrum lesbian is the label but i never resonated. i love calling myself an old dyke. Dyke feels rebellious!

i also claim queer. It’s another old school term that had a negative connotaion that i love .

being able to be who we are here under a big umbrella is quite nice.

[indigo]

"queer femme" resonates best with my self-awareness, exploration and life experiences so far.

[charley]

Yes, this is an interesting thread.
As this is a site where sexual preferences are discussed openly, my sexual orientation and that of others on this site are given an opportunity to be owned up to - and, this very fact allows for openness and transparency and something which is not something that I would be inclined to announce verbally to others in real life, apart from many being aware that I am - in their words - “gay/homosexual/lesbian”.
So, I have always had a masculine psyche; I am a soft butch, and have always related better to soft femmes.
Having said that and because of all the meditation I have done, would have say that I have "become" gentler verbally, and less blunt, and am now able to relate verbally to all kinds of people, basically because I no longer seem to have any more psychological (emotional) reactions - such as anger, etc. I like being this way.
To those on this site, "How do I identify?" ... soft butch, female.
When I hear a straight man use the expression, "I am a man!", it gives me the sense that he feels that just because he is biologically male, it gives him some entitlements, some privileges - which in themselves, are the basis of all the sexism and misogyny in this patriarchal world. Hence, calling myself "a woman" would be in my opinion feeding the drama of that very problem that we all live with.
Biologically speaking, it is a fact that I am female, and as far as I am concerned, that is not a belief. And, as I am more interested in facts rather than beliefs, anything else would fall into the realm of ideas about facts, rather than facts per se.
Fortunately, in Canada, people can now opt out of gender identification on their passports by placing an "x" there, signifying a gender-neutral position (joining countries such as Australia, Denmark, Germany, Malta, New Zealand, Pakistan, India, Ireland and Nepal that provide various third-options).
To myself, "How do I identify?" ... human being