Expectations of FTMs/transsexed men (Dylan's thread)

Daryn · 05-30-2010, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TenderKnight

But really.. I know a transguy that can fluff and fold like nobody's business!

-Tony, who is totally being a smart ass.. Not all femmes can do laundry the way I like it..

Hi Tony... can you be my fluffer..... please.... we don't even need Burt Reyonds or the underwear model....

betenoire · 05-30-2010, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daryn

Hi Tony... can you be my fluffer..... please.... we don't even need Burt Reyonds or the underwear model....

Okay, but you two had better take pictures.

Dylan · 05-30-2010, 05:36 PM

I'm glad someone bumped this thread.

I was talking to someone yesterday about this thread, and I think I was not clear in one point of what I was saying.

RE: constantly repeating TRANSman, TRANSman, TRANSman over and over and over...especially when no one on this site knows of any cismen floating around here.

There's a thing that privileged people do with people from oppressed groups. I'm sure there's a name for this, but I don't know what that name is...maybe Mahhh Woman does.

Ya' ever know ThatPerson (or been ThatPerson...I know I have) who constantly refers to all of their friends as "My Black Friend SoAndSo", or "My Gay Friend SuchASuch", or "My friend BlahBlah The Lesbian"...even when it's completely A) unnecessary or B) irrelevant to the conversation? It's just a privileged way to A) use your 'friends' as a means to mark how 'cool' you are that you have Black/Gay/Lesbian friends and B) to constantly make a separation/distinction even when it's completely inappropriate.

That is what I'm talking about regarding the overuse of TRANSSSSSSSman on this site.

K, Thanks,
Dylan

SuperFemme · 05-30-2010, 06:09 PM

i know this transguy.
he lives in TX and wants to have a special trans-commune.
filled with trans-species.
they will all gather round the campfire, sing kumbaya and shave each others backs.

i am not only cool...i am trans/green friendly.

Linus · 05-30-2010, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan

I'm glad someone bumped this thread.

I was talking to someone yesterday about this thread, and I think I was not clear in one point of what I was saying.

RE: constantly repeating TRANSman, TRANSman, TRANSman over and over and over...especially when no one on this site knows of any cismen floating around here.

There's a thing that privileged people do with people from oppressed groups. I'm sure there's a name for this, but I don't know what that name is...maybe Mahhh Woman does.

Ya' ever know ThatPerson (or been ThatPerson...I know I have) who constantly refers to all of their friends as "My Black Friend SoAndSo", or "My Gay Friend SuchASuch", or "My friend BlahBlah The Lesbian"...even when it's completely A) unnecessary or B) irrelevant to the conversation? It's just a privileged way to A) use your 'friends' as a means to mark how 'cool' you are that you have Black/Gay/Lesbian friends and B) to constantly make a separation/distinction even when it's completely inappropriate.

That is what I'm talking about regarding the overuse of TRANSSSSSSSman on this site.

K, Thanks,
Dylan

What about those of us that claim transman as our own choice as ID? Similar to how some use "tranny" (a term I personally dislike) to ID themselves?

Asking seriously and wanting directions to the trans-commune

Daryn · 05-30-2010, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus

Asking seriously and wanting directions to the trans-commune

First you need a ticket from trans world airlines (oh wait they went out of business years ago or maybe there is a new one....). Then you must fly to No. California and wander through the redwoods for 40 days and 40 nights..... and when you wake on the 41st morning, if you eat your granola and sing kumbaya perfectly a transbird will drop directions to the nearest transporter that will beam you to the trans-commune.....

I think I got that right... but it's directions damn it...

Thinker · 05-30-2010, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan

That is what I'm talking about regarding the overuse of TRANSSSSSSSman on this site.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linus

What about those of us that claim transman as our own choice as ID? Similar to how some use "tranny" (a term I personally dislike) to ID themselves?

I'm thinking the same thing, Linus.

Dylan, is it about *others* referring to the men here as transmen, or someone using that term to self-identify? I'm assuming it's the former but just want to be clear.

I appreciated the example you gave. Someone else describing me as a transman to other people means they are taking upon themselves to out me; that is neither their place nor is it safe (for me). But here, at this site and in this community, it doesn't really phase me. I guess, for me, it's a time & place kind of thing.

Dylan · 05-30-2010, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thinker

I'm thinking the same thing, Linus.

Dylan, is it about *others* referring to the men here as transmen, or someone using that term to self-identify? I'm assuming it's the former but just want to be clear.

I appreciated the example you gave. Someone else describing me as a transman to other people means they are taking upon themselves to out me; that is neither their place nor is it safe (for me). But here, at this site and in this community, it doesn't really phase me. I guess, for me, it's a time & place kind of thing.

Yeah, I'm definitely not criticizing how transfolks choose to identify, or when.

Yeah, I'm talking about others ALWAYS using TRANSman instead of just "My friend, SoAndSo" or'him' or just "My male friend SoAndSo"

On this site in particular (well and the other), men of the site are (almost) always referred to TRANSmen...even though its unnecessary.

I mean, I /we don't refer to all the cis people as, "My cis-femme friend SoAndSo" or "I dated a cis-femme once" and so on...but the men of the site are always denoted as TRANSmen or ftms or just The Trans (which to me sounds like a disease like The Clap)...never (ok, maybe once or twice) do we get to just be 'men' without our trans status being noted/referenced.

I don't refer to my friends as "My Black/Lesbian/Gay friend SoAndSo" anymore, because it's kinda gross...unless it's actually relevant to the convo

I Don't Know If That's More Clear,
Dylan

Jet · 05-31-2010, 09:31 AM

I've shared this story before, but it bears repeating. (My) male sexuality is innate. It's built in; I am not a masculine woman, I'm a man. It isn't easy to be transgendered especially when there is discrimination within the LGBTQ community.

I'll never forget being "disinvited" to a July 4 gathering because I was, at the time, a non transitioned FTM who identifies as male. The hosts of the party didn't want me around their straight mother and sister. They were afraid that I would call them on missed pronouns and so forth.

I was never given the chance top show that I would have been gracious. But it was okay to invite a transitioned FTM because they apparently passed.

I've experienced discrimination from lesbians who don't want anything masculine around. It's usually, "if I wanted a man, I'd go straight." Comments like this negate a rooted male identification. Jus saying this has been my experience.

05-30-2010, 05:36 PM	#3
Dylan Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: She thinks all my jokes are corny Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Great State O' Posts: 880 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,027 Thanked 1,838 Times in 500 Posts Rep Power: 0	I'm glad someone bumped this thread. I was talking to someone yesterday about this thread, and I think I was not clear in one point of what I was saying. RE: constantly repeating TRANSman, TRANSman, TRANSman over and over and over...especially when no one on this site knows of any cismen floating around here. There's a thing that privileged people do with people from oppressed groups. I'm sure there's a name for this, but I don't know what that name is...maybe Mahhh Woman does. Ya' ever know ThatPerson (or been ThatPerson...I know I have) who constantly refers to all of their friends as "My Black Friend SoAndSo", or "My Gay Friend SuchASuch", or "My friend BlahBlah The Lesbian"...even when it's completely A) unnecessary or B) irrelevant to the conversation? It's just a privileged way to A) use your 'friends' as a means to mark how 'cool' you are that you have Black/Gay/Lesbian friends and B) to constantly make a separation/distinction even when it's completely inappropriate. That is what I'm talking about regarding the overuse of TRANSSSSSSSman on this site. K, Thanks, Dylan

05-30-2010, 06:09 PM	#4
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	i know this transguy. he lives in TX and wants to have a special trans-commune. filled with trans-species. they will all gather round the campfire, sing kumbaya and shave each others backs. i am not only cool...i am trans/green friendly.

05-31-2010, 09:31 AM	#9
Jet Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: .. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .. Posts: 3,471 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 292 Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,293 Posts Rep Power: 0	I've shared this story before, but it bears repeating. (My) male sexuality is innate. It's built in; I am not a masculine woman, I'm a man. It isn't easy to be transgendered especially when there is discrimination within the LGBTQ community. I'll never forget being "disinvited" to a July 4 gathering because I was, at the time, a non transitioned FTM who identifies as male. The hosts of the party didn't want me around their straight mother and sister. They were afraid that I would call them on missed pronouns and so forth. I was never given the chance top show that I would have been gracious. But it was okay to invite a transitioned FTM because they apparently passed. I've experienced discrimination from lesbians who don't want anything masculine around. It's usually, "if I wanted a man, I'd go straight." Comments like this negate a rooted male identification. Jus saying this has been my experience.