Expectations of FTMs/transsexed men (Dylan's thread)

[Daryn]

Originally Posted by Linus

Asking seriously and wanting directions to the trans-commune

First you need a ticket from trans world airlines (oh wait they went out of business years ago or maybe there is a new one....). Then you must fly to No. California and wander through the redwoods for 40 days and 40 nights..... and when you wake on the 41st morning, if you eat your granola and sing kumbaya perfectly a transbird will drop directions to the nearest transporter that will beam you to the trans-commune.....

I think I got that right... but it's directions damn it...

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Dylan

That is what I'm talking about regarding the overuse of TRANSSSSSSSman on this site.

Originally Posted by Linus

What about those of us that claim transman as our own choice as ID? Similar to how some use "tranny" (a term I personally dislike) to ID themselves?

I'm thinking the same thing, Linus.

Dylan, is it about *others* referring to the men here as transmen, or someone using that term to self-identify? I'm assuming it's the former but just want to be clear.

I appreciated the example you gave. Someone else describing me as a transman to other people means they are taking upon themselves to out me; that is neither their place nor is it safe (for me). But here, at this site and in this community, it doesn't really phase me. I guess, for me, it's a time & place kind of thing.

[Dylan]

Originally Posted by Thinker

I'm thinking the same thing, Linus.

Dylan, is it about *others* referring to the men here as transmen, or someone using that term to self-identify? I'm assuming it's the former but just want to be clear.

I appreciated the example you gave. Someone else describing me as a transman to other people means they are taking upon themselves to out me; that is neither their place nor is it safe (for me). But here, at this site and in this community, it doesn't really phase me. I guess, for me, it's a time & place kind of thing.

Yeah, I'm definitely not criticizing how transfolks choose to identify, or when.

Yeah, I'm talking about others ALWAYS using TRANSman instead of just "My friend, SoAndSo" or'him' or just "My male friend SoAndSo"

On this site in particular (well and the other), men of the site are (almost) always referred to TRANSmen...even though its unnecessary.

I mean, I /we don't refer to all the cis people as, "My cis-femme friend SoAndSo" or "I dated a cis-femme once" and so on...but the men of the site are always denoted as TRANSmen or ftms or just The Trans (which to me sounds like a disease like The Clap)...never (ok, maybe once or twice) do we get to just be 'men' without our trans status being noted/referenced.

I don't refer to my friends as "My Black/Lesbian/Gay friend SoAndSo" anymore, because it's kinda gross...unless it's actually relevant to the convo


I Don't Know If That's More Clear,
Dylan

[Jet]

I've shared this story before, but it bears repeating. (My) male sexuality is innate. It's built in; I am not a masculine woman, I'm a man. It isn't easy to be transgendered especially when there is discrimination within the LGBTQ community.

I'll never forget being "disinvited" to a July 4 gathering because I was, at the time, a non transitioned FTM who identifies as male. The hosts of the party didn't want me around their straight mother and sister. They were afraid that I would call them on missed pronouns and so forth.

I was never given the chance top show that I would have been gracious. But it was okay to invite a transitioned FTM because they apparently passed.

I've experienced discrimination from lesbians who don't want anything masculine around. It's usually, "if I wanted a man, I'd go straight." Comments like this negate a rooted male identification. Jus saying this has been my experience.