Caregivers and Stress

GeorgiaMa'am · 03-12-2018, 06:52 PM

I had a pretty good visit with my mom this weekend. She was a little "foggy", unable to come up with the words she wanted and such, but we managed to have some good conversation nonetheless. She cooked for both of us, and I have learned to just leave her alone when she decides to cook. She can only concentrate on one thing at a time, but she did manage to make a casserole, carefully following a recipe. She did have to refer to it over and over again, but sometimes she is not able to do even this, and she gets upset and frustrated.

On the way home from her house, I stopped at my sister's. She had two useful things to share:
1) When she goes to our mom's, she shows up with food. This prevents Mom (mostly) from insisting on cooking.
2) Most importantly, my sister shared the results of my mom's most recent visit to the doctor. The doctor gave her some preliminary mental tests, and said that Mom is showing normal signs of aging and dementia. She is not showing signs of Alzheimer's, thank the Goddess. Her mother, and all of her mother's siblings (10 in all) had Alzheimer's, and she has been certain she would get it.

All in all, I am pretty relieved after this weekend visit.

Chad · 04-14-2018, 08:20 AM

Mom had a scary event after Easter dinner. Her heart monitor recorded that her heart stopped for 15 seconds. That is a long time. After tests and doctor visits she was cleared to go home.

I took that opportunity to ask my cousin for help. I need backup and my cousin is an RN. I feel better knowing that I am not all alone caring for mom.

GeorgiaMa'am · 04-16-2018, 07:00 PM

I saw my mom this weekend. We had a good visit, although my bitchy aunt was there too. I honestly believe that Bitchy Aunt tries to be nice and friendly, but really, she dusts up trouble, and says things that hurt people's feelings. Bitchy Aunt spent most of the time she was there in one of the bedrooms reading a book. (She needed to "lie down". Why visit someone if you're going to lie in their guest bed and read a book?)

Anyway, other than that, my mom and I had some good conversations. I was very happy that she seemed more upbeat than usual. We didn't have any of the all-too-often talk about going to live in a nursing home. Instead, although she did mention it was frustrating to her to not be able to think of words and try new tasks, she said that "it's manageable at this time". She sounded more confident and not afraid, as she has in the past.

She also babied me a good bit because I had a tooth pulled last Thursday, and I was on soft foods all weekend. She was constantly offering to heat up soup and mashed potatoes for me. She didn't go overboard though, and it was kind of nice.

We even had a few really good laughs, at some stories I picked up last week. There has not traditionally been a lot of laughing in my family home, so it's special when it happens. All in all, things were good this weekend.

Chad · 06-10-2018, 08:29 PM

Well, I think we are a go on mom moving to my land. She signed the paperwork with her home buyers tonight.

There is a ton of stuff to do by the end of July. I think that it is time to round up the entire family for help.

I am a little overwhelmed but with planning and help I think we can do this.

~ocean · 06-10-2018, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

Well, I think we are a go on mom moving to my land. She signed the paperwork with her home buyers tonight.

There is a ton of stuff to do by the end of July. I think that it is time to round up the entire family for help.

I am a little overwhelmed but with planning and help I think we can do this.

(((( chad )))) I think anyone who wants to take the responsibility of taking care of their parent(s) are remarkable ! It's not easy, but it sure has it's moments that memory's are made from ~ God Bless all of you ~

Martina · 06-10-2018, 10:22 PM

It really is terribly hard. But I envy all of you who still have your mom's. I would love to be able to take care of my mother again.

MsTinkerbelly · 06-10-2018, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina

It really is terribly hard. But I envy all of you who still have your mom's. I would love to be able to take care of my mother again.

Yes

girl_dee · 07-03-2018, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina

It really is terribly hard. But I envy all of you who still have your mom's. I would love to be able to take care of my mother again.

thanks for the reminder. Because of this i just called my mom.

03-12-2018, 06:52 PM	#1
GeorgiaMa'am Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Ma'am Preferred Pronoun?: Ma'am Relationship Status: widowed - involved, poly Join Date: May 2010 Location: Georgia Posts: 6,439 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,565 Thanked 28,473 Times in 5,807 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I had a pretty good visit with my mom this weekend. She was a little "foggy", unable to come up with the words she wanted and such, but we managed to have some good conversation nonetheless. She cooked for both of us, and I have learned to just leave her alone when she decides to cook. She can only concentrate on one thing at a time, but she did manage to make a casserole, carefully following a recipe. She did have to refer to it over and over again, but sometimes she is not able to do even this, and she gets upset and frustrated. On the way home from her house, I stopped at my sister's. She had two useful things to share: 1) When she goes to our mom's, she shows up with food. This prevents Mom (mostly) from insisting on cooking. 2) Most importantly, my sister shared the results of my mom's most recent visit to the doctor. The doctor gave her some preliminary mental tests, and said that Mom is showing normal signs of aging and dementia. She is not showing signs of Alzheimer's, thank the Goddess. Her mother, and all of her mother's siblings (10 in all) had Alzheimer's, and she has been certain she would get it. All in all, I am pretty relieved after this weekend visit. __________________ -GeorgiaMa'am It's true that you are blessed and lucky It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you. -10,000 Maniacs

04-14-2018, 08:20 AM	#2
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers Mom had a scary event after Easter dinner. Her heart monitor recorded that her heart stopped for 15 seconds. That is a long time. After tests and doctor visits she was cleared to go home. I took that opportunity to ask my cousin for help. I need backup and my cousin is an RN. I feel better knowing that I am not all alone caring for mom.

04-16-2018, 07:00 PM	#3
GeorgiaMa'am Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Ma'am Preferred Pronoun?: Ma'am Relationship Status: widowed - involved, poly Join Date: May 2010 Location: Georgia Posts: 6,439 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,565 Thanked 28,473 Times in 5,807 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I saw my mom this weekend. We had a good visit, although my bitchy aunt was there too. I honestly believe that Bitchy Aunt tries to be nice and friendly, but really, she dusts up trouble, and says things that hurt people's feelings. Bitchy Aunt spent most of the time she was there in one of the bedrooms reading a book. (She needed to "lie down". Why visit someone if you're going to lie in their guest bed and read a book?) Anyway, other than that, my mom and I had some good conversations. I was very happy that she seemed more upbeat than usual. We didn't have any of the all-too-often talk about going to live in a nursing home. Instead, although she did mention it was frustrating to her to not be able to think of words and try new tasks, she said that "it's manageable at this time". She sounded more confident and not afraid, as she has in the past. She also babied me a good bit because I had a tooth pulled last Thursday, and I was on soft foods all weekend. She was constantly offering to heat up soup and mashed potatoes for me. She didn't go overboard though, and it was kind of nice. We even had a few really good laughs, at some stories I picked up last week. There has not traditionally been a lot of laughing in my family home, so it's special when it happens. All in all, things were good this weekend. __________________ -GeorgiaMa'am It's true that you are blessed and lucky It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you. -10,000 Maniacs

06-10-2018, 08:29 PM	#4
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers Well, I think we are a go on mom moving to my land. She signed the paperwork with her home buyers tonight. There is a ton of stuff to do by the end of July. I think that it is time to round up the entire family for help. I am a little overwhelmed but with planning and help I think we can do this.

06-10-2018, 10:22 PM	#6
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,284 Times in 4,167 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	It really is terribly hard. But I envy all of you who still have your mom's. I would love to be able to take care of my mother again. __________________ "No matter how cynical I get, I just can't keep up" - Lily Tomlin