Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

rustedrims · 03-14-2018, 12:32 PM

I am doing better now and not feeling to bad. I left moms house Saturday. She just wouldn't let up on me. After 3 days of pressure in my head I thought I probly should go back to my house where my 3 little girls are. My head is better and getting a few things done around here. I get another MRI on April 16 of my head. If my pictures show nothing then I will probly get back to work a few weeks later. I do love my Mom and we are on good terms. Just kinda stressful on me at this time. My heart and prayers go out to everyone and their families that are fighting this unforgiving disease. Fight the fight ! We got this !

Chained Daisy · 03-14-2018, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rustedrims

I am doing better now and not feeling to bad. I left moms house Saturday. She just wouldn't let up on me. After 3 days of pressure in my head I thought I probly should go back to my house where my 3 little girls are. My head is better and getting a few things done around here. I get another MRI on April 16 of my head. If my pictures show nothing then I will probly get back to work a few weeks later. I do love my Mom and we are on good terms. Just kinda stressful on me at this time. My heart and prayers go out to everyone and their families that are fighting this unforgiving disease. Fight the fight ! We got this !

Good to hear you are doing well and making plans. Cancer does have a habit of making us spend a little longer than is comfortable with family and friends doesnt it. More than once I`ve thought to myself "I`m really touched you were so worried I could die, really grateful for you support and advice but honestly...I`ve kinda had enough of you now !"

Laughter is the best medicine !

Wrang1er · 03-27-2018, 07:59 AM

Today is my mom's graduation day. Meaning she is currently having her last chemotherapy session in the series. Then she will have to have a CT scan to see if the cancer is gone.

Yesterday, we went to see her urologist because she has been having pain that radiates around her abdomen to her back on the left and right side. More painful on the left than the right. She is also experiencing pain in her lower abdomen. He said from her last CT scan in October when they found the cancer again that her kidneys looked good, the flow looked good and her kidney function was good. She will have a renal scan to double check. It's hard to say what the cause of this pain is.

I am happy for my mother. This will be the second time she beat cancer (hopefully) and I hope she doesn't have to face it again. We will have to deal with the other health issues that have arisen from the cancer and chemo. Chemo is a bitch.

I feel bad about this but it's hard living with my mother. She is not a nice person. She wasn't before her cancer and she isn't now. She's mean and says mean things. A few weeks ago she said some mean things to me and I got upset. I didn't say anything but I did try to spend time away from her. Then she was sick from her chemo and a UTI and I felt bad. It is such a conflict for me at times. I feel sorry for her and then feel bad that I don't always like her.

I do admire and respect her for the strength and determination she has shown through both battles with cancer. She is a trooper for sure. I don't believe I could have handled it as well as she has. I do love my mother and I want her to be well. I just don't always like her much and that makes me feel sad and conflicted.

Excuse my ramblings. It's a happy day. There's just a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head and I don't know where else to put them.

Wrang1er · 03-27-2018, 09:44 AM

She couldn't get chemo because her white blood cell count was too low.

rustedrims · 03-27-2018, 02:36 PM

I am home now with my cats. It feels good. I get my MRI on the 16th to check things out in my head. I feel ok and getting a few things cleaned up around here. I left Moms on my own. She just wouldn't let up. I couldnt even put the blanket on the bed right. Had enough. When I was there she took very good care of me and I was very comfortable. I believe I over stayed my welcome. She also had a very hard time seeing me with that stuff and not being well. I do love my Mom very much. Its just been hard on all of us. I could eat as much as 3 horses and now I am eating barely enough to keep a mouse alive. Getting better with my appetite. 17 hits of radiation doesn't help either. Seeing the Dr. on the 20th to look at the MRI pictures. As long as things look good I am going to ask for 2 more weeks off then back to work. If things don't work out at work I will be able to retire comfortably. I want to work another year to teach that cancer that it didn't win. I did !

My heart goes out to us all. We will fight the fight and win !
Thank you for reading and caring the way you all do.

Sheila

Chained Daisy · 03-29-2018, 07:38 AM

Hi Wrangler,

That`s tough your Mom wasn't able to complete her chemo just yet, I`m sure you are both waiting for the treatment to be done with, yes, chemo is indeed a bitch.

As I read your post it I was reminded just how that conflict of emotions feels, having a Mom who rewards, care, concern and devotion with cruel words and thinks they are entitled to say anything they wish regardless of the hurt inflicted, I have been there so often. When you have had a similar relationship with a parent you understand just how that feels.

It sounds like she is very blessed to have you around, in her life and caring for her. Remember you are entitled to feel hurt and want some breathing space from her when she behaves this way, I`m telling you that as I wish I had told myself that more often years ago !

So here`s hoping she can get the last round of chemo soon, the scan results bring what is hoped for and that her pain eases too.

Stay strong and know you and your Mom are sent positive thoughts for brighter days.

Daisy

Gayandgray · 03-29-2018, 09:27 AM

My spouse’s oldest daughter who lives in Indiana had told us she has liver cancer. We were waiting for all her tests to come back. Today she called and said it’s stage 4 and they are giving her maybe a year. My spouse is heartbroken and is not taking this well at all. Her daughter and her husband are flying out here a week after Easter to see us all one last time. I feel so helpless.

Chained Daisy · 03-29-2018, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rustedrims

I am home now with my cats. It feels good. I get my MRI on the 16th to check things out in my head. I feel ok and getting a few things cleaned up around here. I left Moms on my own. She just wouldn't let up. I couldnt even put the blanket on the bed right. Had enough. When I was there she took very good care of me and I was very comfortable. I believe I over stayed my welcome. She also had a very hard time seeing me with that stuff and not being well. I do love my Mom very much. Its just been hard on all of us. I could eat as much as 3 horses and now I am eating barely enough to keep a mouse alive. Getting better with my appetite. 17 hits of radiation doesn't help either. Seeing the Dr. on the 20th to look at the MRI pictures. As long as things look good I am going to ask for 2 more weeks off then back to work. If things don't work out at work I will be able to retire comfortably. I want to work another year to teach that cancer that it didn't win. I did !

My heart goes out to us all. We will fight the fight and win !
Thank you for reading and caring the way you all do.

Sheila

Hi Shelia, Home with my cats is my favourite place to be ! Hoping your appetite comes back and you can build your strength to get back to work, I get how you feel you want to be able to return. Wishing you gentle days,

Daisy

rustedrims · 09-09-2018, 10:54 AM

Well been through hell and back. Tough part over and back to work a few weeks now. I want to hopefully get 1 more year then retire. Working gets my brain firing and that is what I need now. Doing what the doctors told me to do. Feeling better and I still have a long way to go. Thank you all for your support and you all know you have mine. I love you all very much.. Rustedrims Sheila

easygoingfemme · 03-29-2018, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rustedrims

I am home now with my cats. It feels good. I get my MRI on the 16th to check things out in my head. I feel ok and getting a few things cleaned up around here. I left Moms on my own. She just wouldn't let up. I couldnt even put the blanket on the bed right. Had enough. When I was there she took very good care of me and I was very comfortable. I believe I over stayed my welcome. She also had a very hard time seeing me with that stuff and not being well. I do love my Mom very much. Its just been hard on all of us. I could eat as much as 3 horses and now I am eating barely enough to keep a mouse alive. Getting better with my appetite. 17 hits of radiation doesn't help either. Seeing the Dr. on the 20th to look at the MRI pictures. As long as things look good I am going to ask for 2 more weeks off then back to work. If things don't work out at work I will be able to retire comfortably. I want to work another year to teach that cancer that it didn't win. I did !

My heart goes out to us all. We will fight the fight and win !
Thank you for reading and caring the way you all do.

Sheila

I'm glad you're home. That radiation buildup can be hard. When I was in it it was even harder than chemo sometimes and the lasting effects on my skin and muscle in the area that was hit is permanently changed. Hoping for a quick easy MRI, positive results, and a smooth transition back into your new normal.

rustedrims · 09-25-2018, 02:08 PM

I am doing real good and back at work. Things are going well at work and remembering my job. I am glad I am back. It is my therapy and gets my brain a cracking and snapping. Forget about the surgery the thing is I haven't worked in 9 months. Feels good to get out and feel like I did something with the day. My hair is growing back. It looks a little lighter and baby soft. I love being home with my kitties. One of the sisters wont leave me alone. I was gone a long time. January is my reality of what I deal with every day. Getting my MRI and CT scan. The six month check on things. The last check nothing bad showed up. A good feeling. Sometimes I am still afraid to go to sleep. I still get scared. Sheila

03-14-2018, 12:32 PM	#1
rustedrims Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ohio close to Lake Erie and ice-cream places Posts: 444 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,123 Thanked 2,553 Times in 367 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Hi everyone ! I am doing better now and not feeling to bad. I left moms house Saturday. She just wouldn't let up on me. After 3 days of pressure in my head I thought I probly should go back to my house where my 3 little girls are. My head is better and getting a few things done around here. I get another MRI on April 16 of my head. If my pictures show nothing then I will probly get back to work a few weeks later. I do love my Mom and we are on good terms. Just kinda stressful on me at this time. My heart and prayers go out to everyone and their families that are fighting this unforgiving disease. Fight the fight ! We got this ! __________________ I don't want to be perfect because if I was then I will loose the ability to learn.

03-27-2018, 02:36 PM	#5
rustedrims Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ohio close to Lake Erie and ice-cream places Posts: 444 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,123 Thanked 2,553 Times in 367 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I am home now with my cats. It feels good. I get my MRI on the 16th to check things out in my head. I feel ok and getting a few things cleaned up around here. I left Moms on my own. She just wouldn't let up. I couldnt even put the blanket on the bed right. Had enough. When I was there she took very good care of me and I was very comfortable. I believe I over stayed my welcome. She also had a very hard time seeing me with that stuff and not being well. I do love my Mom very much. Its just been hard on all of us. I could eat as much as 3 horses and now I am eating barely enough to keep a mouse alive. Getting better with my appetite. 17 hits of radiation doesn't help either. Seeing the Dr. on the 20th to look at the MRI pictures. As long as things look good I am going to ask for 2 more weeks off then back to work. If things don't work out at work I will be able to retire comfortably. I want to work another year to teach that cancer that it didn't win. I did ! My heart goes out to us all. We will fight the fight and win ! Thank you for reading and caring the way you all do. Sheila __________________ I don't want to be perfect because if I was then I will loose the ability to learn.

03-29-2018, 07:38 AM	#6
Chained Daisy Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: May 2017 Location: Usually underneath a cat Posts: 827 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,673 Thanked 1,811 Times in 531 Posts Rep Power: 21474845	Hi Wrangler, That`s tough your Mom wasn't able to complete her chemo just yet, I`m sure you are both waiting for the treatment to be done with, yes, chemo is indeed a bitch. As I read your post it I was reminded just how that conflict of emotions feels, having a Mom who rewards, care, concern and devotion with cruel words and thinks they are entitled to say anything they wish regardless of the hurt inflicted, I have been there so often. When you have had a similar relationship with a parent you understand just how that feels. It sounds like she is very blessed to have you around, in her life and caring for her. Remember you are entitled to feel hurt and want some breathing space from her when she behaves this way, I`m telling you that as I wish I had told myself that more often years ago ! So here`s hoping she can get the last round of chemo soon, the scan results bring what is hoped for and that her pain eases too. Stay strong and know you and your Mom are sent positive thoughts for brighter days. Daisy __________________ Formerly known as Daisy Chain I am half agony, half hope, Jane Austen

03-29-2018, 09:27 AM	#7
Gayandgray Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme-ish, tomboy lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Together a really long time Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: In my mind? On a tropical island Posts: 4,860 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,584 Thanked 12,875 Times in 3,079 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	My spouse’s oldest daughter who lives in Indiana had told us she has liver cancer. We were waiting for all her tests to come back. Today she called and said it’s stage 4 and they are giving her maybe a year. My spouse is heartbroken and is not taking this well at all. Her daughter and her husband are flying out here a week after Easter to see us all one last time. I feel so helpless. __________________

09-09-2018, 10:54 AM	#9
rustedrims Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ohio close to Lake Erie and ice-cream places Posts: 444 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,123 Thanked 2,553 Times in 367 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	hello everyone Well been through hell and back. Tough part over and back to work a few weeks now. I want to hopefully get 1 more year then retire. Working gets my brain firing and that is what I need now. Doing what the doctors told me to do. Feeling better and I still have a long way to go. Thank you all for your support and you all know you have mine. I love you all very much.. Rustedrims Sheila __________________ I don't want to be perfect because if I was then I will loose the ability to learn.

03-27-2018, 07:59 AM	#3
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,043 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Today is my mom's graduation day. Meaning she is currently having her last chemotherapy session in the series. Then she will have to have a CT scan to see if the cancer is gone. Yesterday, we went to see her urologist because she has been having pain that radiates around her abdomen to her back on the left and right side. More painful on the left than the right. She is also experiencing pain in her lower abdomen. He said from her last CT scan in October when they found the cancer again that her kidneys looked good, the flow looked good and her kidney function was good. She will have a renal scan to double check. It's hard to say what the cause of this pain is. I am happy for my mother. This will be the second time she beat cancer (hopefully) and I hope she doesn't have to face it again. We will have to deal with the other health issues that have arisen from the cancer and chemo. Chemo is a bitch. I feel bad about this but it's hard living with my mother. She is not a nice person. She wasn't before her cancer and she isn't now. She's mean and says mean things. A few weeks ago she said some mean things to me and I got upset. I didn't say anything but I did try to spend time away from her. Then she was sick from her chemo and a UTI and I felt bad. It is such a conflict for me at times. I feel sorry for her and then feel bad that I don't always like her. I do admire and respect her for the strength and determination she has shown through both battles with cancer. She is a trooper for sure. I don't believe I could have handled it as well as she has. I do love my mother and I want her to be well. I just don't always like her much and that makes me feel sad and conflicted. Excuse my ramblings. It's a happy day. There's just a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head and I don't know where else to put them.

03-27-2018, 09:44 AM	#4
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,043 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	She couldn't get chemo because her white blood cell count was too low.

09-25-2018, 02:08 PM	#11
rustedrims Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ohio close to Lake Erie and ice-cream places Posts: 444 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,123 Thanked 2,553 Times in 367 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I am doing real good and back at work. Things are going well at work and remembering my job. I am glad I am back. It is my therapy and gets my brain a cracking and snapping. Forget about the surgery the thing is I haven't worked in 9 months. Feels good to get out and feel like I did something with the day. My hair is growing back. It looks a little lighter and baby soft. I love being home with my kitties. One of the sisters wont leave me alone. I was gone a long time. January is my reality of what I deal with every day. Getting my MRI and CT scan. The six month check on things. The last check nothing bad showed up. A good feeling. Sometimes I am still afraid to go to sleep. I still get scared. Sheila __________________ I don't want to be perfect because if I was then I will loose the ability to learn.