Caregivers and Stress

GeorgiaMa'am · 04-16-2018, 07:00 PM

I saw my mom this weekend. We had a good visit, although my bitchy aunt was there too. I honestly believe that Bitchy Aunt tries to be nice and friendly, but really, she dusts up trouble, and says things that hurt people's feelings. Bitchy Aunt spent most of the time she was there in one of the bedrooms reading a book. (She needed to "lie down". Why visit someone if you're going to lie in their guest bed and read a book?)

Anyway, other than that, my mom and I had some good conversations. I was very happy that she seemed more upbeat than usual. We didn't have any of the all-too-often talk about going to live in a nursing home. Instead, although she did mention it was frustrating to her to not be able to think of words and try new tasks, she said that "it's manageable at this time". She sounded more confident and not afraid, as she has in the past.

She also babied me a good bit because I had a tooth pulled last Thursday, and I was on soft foods all weekend. She was constantly offering to heat up soup and mashed potatoes for me. She didn't go overboard though, and it was kind of nice.

We even had a few really good laughs, at some stories I picked up last week. There has not traditionally been a lot of laughing in my family home, so it's special when it happens. All in all, things were good this weekend.

Chad · 06-10-2018, 08:29 PM

Well, I think we are a go on mom moving to my land. She signed the paperwork with her home buyers tonight.

There is a ton of stuff to do by the end of July. I think that it is time to round up the entire family for help.

I am a little overwhelmed but with planning and help I think we can do this.

~ocean · 06-10-2018, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

Well, I think we are a go on mom moving to my land. She signed the paperwork with her home buyers tonight.

There is a ton of stuff to do by the end of July. I think that it is time to round up the entire family for help.

I am a little overwhelmed but with planning and help I think we can do this.

(((( chad )))) I think anyone who wants to take the responsibility of taking care of their parent(s) are remarkable ! It's not easy, but it sure has it's moments that memory's are made from ~ God Bless all of you ~

Martina · 06-10-2018, 10:22 PM

It really is terribly hard. But I envy all of you who still have your mom's. I would love to be able to take care of my mother again.

MsTinkerbelly · 06-10-2018, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina

It really is terribly hard. But I envy all of you who still have your mom's. I would love to be able to take care of my mother again.

Yes

Chad · 07-02-2018, 05:32 PM

A slight change of plans. I am adding an addition onto my house instead of a cabin. Mom gets her own wing, haha. I believe that it will be better in the long run for us to be under the same roof.

JDeere · 07-02-2018, 07:43 PM

I will be joining the ranks of caregiver, with my mom, Dad is in the hospital again, he may have to have a foot amputated.

We aren't sure what is all going to happen yet but reading this thread sounds a lot like what is going to happen in the near future.

They may end up selling the house and moving away from the city for their own sanity and care, which I don't blame them one bit. I will however help as much as I can when time comes.

girl_dee · 07-03-2018, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina

It really is terribly hard. But I envy all of you who still have your mom's. I would love to be able to take care of my mother again.

thanks for the reminder. Because of this i just called my mom.

JDeere · 07-05-2018, 10:18 PM

Dad may come home tomorrow. We arent sure yet. No amputation but they opened his foot to clean out the infection.

He has no idea that he may have to be wheelchair bound for the rest of his life, i dont see him complying with doctors orders. He thinks hes just gonna get up and walk, drive to work, etc. He has no clue. They took him off his depression meds cuz it interferes with his antibiotics, hes on ALOT of medications as well, from insulin to heart pills.

Im so beyond stressed because alot of shit has happened at the house since Monday, from carpet installers cutting the net cord for internet to my mom stressing out to the point i cant handle being around her. My siblings help but have no clue as to how bad this has affected me, i bottle stuff up till i explode, im to the point i want to load up my dog and some of my stuff, to leave.

My folks dont listen to any of us 3 kids about helping and im the one cuz i live here that gets more stuff piled on me, if its not my folks way its the highway and i want off! They need to sell the house and move, sell one car, etc to where they can manage life and health care. And both of them need to be on depression and anxiety meds cuz i cant take much more.

I love them both dearly, however im in no position to financially help since my job fell through, i have my own health and mental issues plus im done not having a life because i get no help from dumb and dumber.

Chad · 07-15-2018, 05:02 PM

I have to admit that moving mom is exhausting. She has her and dad's stuff, her parents stuff, and dad's parents stuff. The worst part is that she wants to keep it all.

I did manage to take a few pieces to the auction house but it did not make much of a difference.

I started moving stuff at the end of June and we are not to halfway yet. Part of the problem is that we have very little help. There are no guys helping just my cousin, my ex, and a dear friend. We are paying a lady to pack her stuff part time but that is going too slow.

Not to mention it is July in Texas with temperatures in the hundreds. I have started looking for more hired help. Ugh

04-16-2018, 07:00 PM	#1
GeorgiaMa'am Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Ma'am Preferred Pronoun?: Ma'am Relationship Status: widowed - involved, poly Join Date: May 2010 Location: Georgia Posts: 6,439 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,565 Thanked 28,473 Times in 5,807 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I saw my mom this weekend. We had a good visit, although my bitchy aunt was there too. I honestly believe that Bitchy Aunt tries to be nice and friendly, but really, she dusts up trouble, and says things that hurt people's feelings. Bitchy Aunt spent most of the time she was there in one of the bedrooms reading a book. (She needed to "lie down". Why visit someone if you're going to lie in their guest bed and read a book?) Anyway, other than that, my mom and I had some good conversations. I was very happy that she seemed more upbeat than usual. We didn't have any of the all-too-often talk about going to live in a nursing home. Instead, although she did mention it was frustrating to her to not be able to think of words and try new tasks, she said that "it's manageable at this time". She sounded more confident and not afraid, as she has in the past. She also babied me a good bit because I had a tooth pulled last Thursday, and I was on soft foods all weekend. She was constantly offering to heat up soup and mashed potatoes for me. She didn't go overboard though, and it was kind of nice. We even had a few really good laughs, at some stories I picked up last week. There has not traditionally been a lot of laughing in my family home, so it's special when it happens. All in all, things were good this weekend. __________________ -GeorgiaMa'am It's true that you are blessed and lucky It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you. -10,000 Maniacs

06-10-2018, 08:29 PM	#2
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers Well, I think we are a go on mom moving to my land. She signed the paperwork with her home buyers tonight. There is a ton of stuff to do by the end of July. I think that it is time to round up the entire family for help. I am a little overwhelmed but with planning and help I think we can do this.

06-10-2018, 10:22 PM	#4
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,284 Times in 4,167 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	It really is terribly hard. But I envy all of you who still have your mom's. I would love to be able to take care of my mother again. __________________ "No matter how cynical I get, I just can't keep up" - Lily Tomlin

07-02-2018, 05:32 PM	#6
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers A slight change of plans. I am adding an addition onto my house instead of a cabin. Mom gets her own wing, haha. I believe that it will be better in the long run for us to be under the same roof.

07-02-2018, 07:43 PM	#7
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,834 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	I will be joining the ranks of caregiver, with my mom, Dad is in the hospital again, he may have to have a foot amputated. We aren't sure what is all going to happen yet but reading this thread sounds a lot like what is going to happen in the near future. They may end up selling the house and moving away from the city for their own sanity and care, which I don't blame them one bit. I will however help as much as I can when time comes. __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

07-05-2018, 10:18 PM	#9
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,834 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	Dad may come home tomorrow. We arent sure yet. No amputation but they opened his foot to clean out the infection. He has no idea that he may have to be wheelchair bound for the rest of his life, i dont see him complying with doctors orders. He thinks hes just gonna get up and walk, drive to work, etc. He has no clue. They took him off his depression meds cuz it interferes with his antibiotics, hes on ALOT of medications as well, from insulin to heart pills. Im so beyond stressed because alot of shit has happened at the house since Monday, from carpet installers cutting the net cord for internet to my mom stressing out to the point i cant handle being around her. My siblings help but have no clue as to how bad this has affected me, i bottle stuff up till i explode, im to the point i want to load up my dog and some of my stuff, to leave. My folks dont listen to any of us 3 kids about helping and im the one cuz i live here that gets more stuff piled on me, if its not my folks way its the highway and i want off! They need to sell the house and move, sell one car, etc to where they can manage life and health care. And both of them need to be on depression and anxiety meds cuz i cant take much more. I love them both dearly, however im in no position to financially help since my job fell through, i have my own health and mental issues plus im done not having a life because i get no help from dumb and dumber. __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

07-15-2018, 05:02 PM	#10
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers I have to admit that moving mom is exhausting. She has her and dad's stuff, her parents stuff, and dad's parents stuff. The worst part is that she wants to keep it all. I did manage to take a few pieces to the auction house but it did not make much of a difference. I started moving stuff at the end of June and we are not to halfway yet. Part of the problem is that we have very little help. There are no guys helping just my cousin, my ex, and a dear friend. We are paying a lady to pack her stuff part time but that is going too slow. Not to mention it is July in Texas with temperatures in the hundreds. I have started looking for more hired help. Ugh