Significant Age Gaps in Relationships - Page 2

Signmypapyrus · 04-18-2018, 03:56 PM

I prefer older women and the few I have gone on dates with have been older. I mean, at least ten years older, if not more. I imagine when I eventually want a relationship I’ll end up with someone older.

I think it makes sense in queer or same sex relationships.

introverted1 · 04-22-2018, 02:34 PM

Since my mid-30s, I usually end up with people who are five to six years younger than me. I realize that is not a huge age gap.

Whoever can communicate well and keep up with me on the hiking trail is ideal.

introverted1 · 04-22-2018, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by introverted1

Since my mid-30s, I usually end up with people who are five to six years younger than me. I realize that is not a huge age gap.

Whoever can communicate well and keep up with me on the hiking trail is ideal.

You know, I'm going to add a qualifier to that last line... I have been with people who could not keep up with me very well on the hiking trail, but I was just so darned grateful that they were out there with me at all. I love to be outside.

AllFemme · 04-26-2018, 07:12 PM

I briefly dated a butch who was 20 years older than me. It was nothing but a great experience. I like a butch at any adult age, but have always had a thing for older butches.

SaltyButch · 04-26-2018, 07:46 PM

I've had a tendency to date younger women mostly because some my age act way too old....and I am very young at heart. I have experienced the comments "oh you are a dirty old butch"...why should I be perceived like that when men have been doing it for ages.

An age gap is not the gap to worry about, if we can relate, understand and enjoy life with each other what's wrong with that. There may be some life experience that we can't relate to, but I assure you that some younger women have experienced more than I ever will.

So if she doesn't know a show called The Brady Bunch I'm okay with that as long as we both respect, care for and love each other isn't that all that really matters.

~ocean · 04-26-2018, 08:37 PM

as long as u are attracted to each other enjoy !! I personally like to dance to the same beat. I find the greying of the temples and smile wrinkles very very sexyyyy ~ and the conversation ohhhhhhhh baby take me now lolol ~

Greco · 04-26-2018, 09:00 PM

I have always enjoyed older femmes. In my
culture/family I learned that age brings fullness
of experience, out of this world sensuality, intelligence
and beauty. Yes, the young can have these qualities
as well, but really the fullness of time is what brings
downright gorgeous elegance...Now, as I'm 65 soon to
be 66yo I continue to enjoy older femmes...No judgement,
but an older femme continues to do it for me.

Now yes I run and am very active, so the older femmes
that I engage with are not necessarily as active, but
their intelligence is brilliant, and they love to dance
need I say more? And they love to love in all the ways
that we are compatible...Would I engage a femme in
her fifties? Perhaps if she is completely in her life, but
it would more likely be a femme in her sixties, seventies,
and yes a gorgeous and elegant 80's.

I once painted the portrait of a 97yo woman, who could
tango the hell out of anyone younger, not to mention her
sizzling intelligence, courage, and elegant tastes. She was
straight so I did not pursue but...oh, yes
it's the older femme for me!

Greco

cathexis · 04-26-2018, 09:39 PM

Agree with Salty about own age seeming to act much older. My Partner who is 5 years younger even feels older than I am. Also, the neighbor who is just 6 years older acts (and therefore looks) older than me.
Neighbor even feels older than my mom would be had she still been alive.
I don't get it.
All but those much younger find my music and nightlife intolerable.

JDeere · 04-26-2018, 09:49 PM

I used to date older as in 10 or more years. Yeah didnt work.

Now i only want to date someone my age or 3 years older.

BullDog · 04-26-2018, 10:33 PM

What matters is the connection. I have indeed been in live-in relationships with a femme 20 years younger than me and also with a femme who was born in the same year I was. I haven't been in a huge number of relationships but most of them have been near my age, but age differences work fine for me too.

Femmes of all ages are amazing and potentially someone I could have incredible relationship with - partner, friend, etc. I certainly would never say a femme was too old.

Esme nha Maire · 04-26-2018, 10:34 PM

My one lesbian relationship was with a woman 11 years my junior, and the age difference didn't matter a damn, despite my being in my early 30's and her being in her early twenties, so the percentage difference in age was huge.

I think it depends on the personalities involved. I wouldn't rule out dating someone in their twenties, so long as they were reasonably mature and there weren't any other problems (hey, I don't have the energy I once did!). And I certainly wouldn't rule out someone older! That said, in some respects I'm under-mature for my age, and look younger than I am, whilst being rather more decrepit than most would expect due to various medical oddities.

My ideal is someone a bit more grounded than me, and better able to cope with those aspects of the world I find problematic, with integrity and a good sense of humour. Given those - I'm not too concerned about their age, so long as they are over 20!

Bèsame* · 04-29-2018, 11:08 AM

Please don't look like a child I could of had , or look like my father..

I just could not kiss that age difference.

But, I've almost always have been the tallest one !

DapperButch · 04-29-2018, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bèsame*

Please don't look like a child I could of had , or look like my father..

I just could not kiss that age difference.

But, I've almost always have been the tallest one !

haha how tall are you?

Bèsame* · 04-29-2018, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

haha how tall are you?

ALMOST always...
Its refreshing to find my height, or even close to it. ...😉

MaddieRobbie · 09-05-2018, 11:25 AM

I primarily date people older than myself. There's a confidence that comes from maturity I'm just drawn to...

My relationships with older partners are mostly drama free and as complicated as we choose to make them. If there's kids and my partner prefers to keep that part of their life separate, I'm not offended (and if they do, I understand they've had a whole life of their own before I showed up). Sex on a first date isn't taboo or anything more than being true to what we're feeling in the moment.

...and they're simply more fun to be with and around. The last butch I dated took me bowling on our first date - we didn't have to shout at each other over a club or be in the trendiest bar in town. We drank beers and bowled while I tried to look sexy in the silly shoes. Amazing.

clay · 09-05-2018, 12:46 PM

Several months back, I was talking seriously with someone, not on this site, either!, who was 19 years my junior. While fun to talk with, and all, I found the maturity level differences to be too much, for me.

The age difference didn't bother her at all. I would have felt awkward in public, because, folks would "assume" I was the mom or grandmom, and I hate that when folks make assumptions!

For me, and this is tried & true, I do well with someone 10 years younger, and no more or less!

It is different for different folks, but I wouldn't ever date anyone older than me.

Tuff Stuff · 09-07-2018, 09:50 PM

Older women have always been my thing. But as I am ageing,five or less years younger than me works,but nothing under forty years.

Nothing wrong with younger ladies,just how I feel about it.

C0LLETTE · 09-07-2018, 10:09 PM

I can see the benefit of a gf 50 years younger than me as long as she can afford to pay for a therapist.

JDeere · 09-08-2018, 01:17 AM

Mines still the same!

CherylNYC · 09-08-2018, 09:41 AM

A 23 year old tried to pick me up at a bar a few months ago! I'm not making this up. I'm more than three decades older than she was. NO! I mean, HELL no.

I formerly dated women who were significantly older, but now the energy difference between elders and myself is usually, (but not always), just too large. I'm super-active and very fit. If I ever decide to date again it would ideally be a woman who is within 10 years of me in either direction.

04-18-2018, 03:56 PM	#21
Signmypapyrus Junior Member How Do You Identify?: * Preferred Pronoun?: * Join Date: Mar 2018 Location: * Posts: 66 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 59 Thanked 181 Times in 53 Posts Rep Power: 1675671	I prefer older women and the few I have gone on dates with have been older. I mean, at least ten years older, if not more. I imagine when I eventually want a relationship I’ll end up with someone older. I think it makes sense in queer or same sex relationships. __________________ “(I)f we are going to be kind, let it be out of simple generosity, not because we fear guilt or retribution.” --from Disgrace by JM Coetzee

04-26-2018, 08:37 PM	#26
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,040 Times in 4,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	as long as u are attracted to each other enjoy !! I personally like to dance to the same beat. I find the greying of the temples and smile wrinkles very very sexyyyy ~ and the conversation ohhhhhhhh baby take me now lolol ~ __________________ ~ Always, ocean

04-26-2018, 09:00 PM	#27
Greco Senior Member How Do You Identify?: GNC, not Trans, REAL. TIME. ONLY. Preferred Pronoun?: REAL. TIME. ONLY. Relationship Status: REAL. TIME. ONLY. Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: In a good life. Posts: 3,200 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,160 Thanked 6,618 Times in 2,287 Posts Rep Power: 0	o I have always enjoyed older femmes. In my culture/family I learned that age brings fullness of experience, out of this world sensuality, intelligence and beauty. Yes, the young can have these qualities as well, but really the fullness of time is what brings downright gorgeous elegance...Now, as I'm 65 soon to be 66yo I continue to enjoy older femmes...No judgement, but an older femme continues to do it for me. Now yes I run and am very active, so the older femmes that I engage with are not necessarily as active, but their intelligence is brilliant, and they love to dance need I say more? And they love to love in all the ways that we are compatible...Would I engage a femme in her fifties? Perhaps if she is completely in her life, but it would more likely be a femme in her sixties, seventies, and yes a gorgeous and elegant 80's. I once painted the portrait of a 97yo woman, who could tango the hell out of anyone younger, not to mention her sizzling intelligence, courage, and elegant tastes. She was straight so I did not pursue but...oh, yes it's the older femme for me! Greco

04-26-2018, 10:33 PM	#30
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,666 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I Guess This Is A Timeless Thread What matters is the connection. I have indeed been in live-in relationships with a femme 20 years younger than me and also with a femme who was born in the same year I was. I haven't been in a huge number of relationships but most of them have been near my age, but age differences work fine for me too. Femmes of all ages are amazing and potentially someone I could have incredible relationship with - partner, friend, etc. I certainly would never say a femme was too old. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

04-29-2018, 11:08 AM	#32
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,376 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,111 Thanked 40,943 Times in 10,729 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Please don't look like a child I could of had , or look like my father.. I just could not kiss that age difference. But, I've almost always have been the tallest one ! __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

04-22-2018, 02:34 PM	#22
introverted1 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: Jun 2016 Location: introville Posts: 250 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 422 Thanked 740 Times in 212 Posts Rep Power: 7058202	Since my mid-30s, I usually end up with people who are five to six years younger than me. I realize that is not a huge age gap. Whoever can communicate well and keep up with me on the hiking trail is ideal.

04-26-2018, 07:12 PM	#24
AllFemme Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her/hers Relationship Status: Just working on myself right now Join Date: Apr 2018 Location: Minnesota Posts: 10 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 67 Thanked 57 Times in 11 Posts Rep Power: 859002	I briefly dated a butch who was 20 years older than me. It was nothing but a great experience. I like a butch at any adult age, but have always had a thing for older butches.

04-26-2018, 07:46 PM	#25
SaltyButch Member How Do You Identify?: Old School Butch Preferred Pronoun?: he/she/hey you..... Relationship Status: open to the possibilities Tournaments Won: 5 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: mississauga ontario canada Posts: 345 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 432 Thanked 1,634 Times in 301 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I've had a tendency to date younger women mostly because some my age act way too old....and I am very young at heart. I have experienced the comments "oh you are a dirty old butch"...why should I be perceived like that when men have been doing it for ages. An age gap is not the gap to worry about, if we can relate, understand and enjoy life with each other what's wrong with that. There may be some life experience that we can't relate to, but I assure you that some younger women have experienced more than I ever will. So if she doesn't know a show called The Brady Bunch I'm okay with that as long as we both respect, care for and love each other isn't that all that really matters.

04-26-2018, 09:39 PM	#28
cathexis Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Trotskyist, Anarcho-syndicalist Preferred Pronoun?: They, Them, Their, Sir Bitch Relationship Status: open Join Date: Sep 2016 Location: Great White North! Posts: 4,332 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,812 Thanked 4,707 Times in 1,604 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Agree with Salty about own age seeming to act much older. My Partner who is 5 years younger even feels older than I am. Also, the neighbor who is just 6 years older acts (and therefore looks) older than me. Neighbor even feels older than my mom would be had she still been alive. I don't get it. All but those much younger find my music and nightlife intolerable.

04-26-2018, 09:49 PM	#29
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,836 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	I used to date older as in 10 or more years. Yeah didnt work. Now i only want to date someone my age or 3 years older.

04-26-2018, 10:34 PM	#31
Esme nha Maire Member How Do You Identify?: Tomboyish eccentric antique femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jul 2017 Location: UK Posts: 642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,196 Thanked 2,078 Times in 541 Posts Rep Power: 19310770	My one lesbian relationship was with a woman 11 years my junior, and the age difference didn't matter a damn, despite my being in my early 30's and her being in her early twenties, so the percentage difference in age was huge. I think it depends on the personalities involved. I wouldn't rule out dating someone in their twenties, so long as they were reasonably mature and there weren't any other problems (hey, I don't have the energy I once did!). And I certainly wouldn't rule out someone older! That said, in some respects I'm under-mature for my age, and look younger than I am, whilst being rather more decrepit than most would expect due to various medical oddities. My ideal is someone a bit more grounded than me, and better able to cope with those aspects of the world I find problematic, with integrity and a good sense of humour. Given those - I'm not too concerned about their age, so long as they are over 20!

09-05-2018, 11:25 AM	#35
MaddieRobbie Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Free Join Date: Aug 2018 Location: Brooklyn Posts: 96 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34 Thanked 311 Times in 79 Posts Rep Power: 2491087	Age difference. I primarily date people older than myself. There's a confidence that comes from maturity I'm just drawn to... My relationships with older partners are mostly drama free and as complicated as we choose to make them. If there's kids and my partner prefers to keep that part of their life separate, I'm not offended (and if they do, I understand they've had a whole life of their own before I showed up). Sex on a first date isn't taboo or anything more than being true to what we're feeling in the moment. ...and they're simply more fun to be with and around. The last butch I dated took me bowling on our first date - we didn't have to shout at each other over a club or be in the trendiest bar in town. We drank beers and bowled while I tried to look sexy in the silly shoes. Amazing.

09-05-2018, 12:46 PM	#36
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,675 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Several months back, I was talking seriously with someone, not on this site, either!, who was 19 years my junior. While fun to talk with, and all, I found the maturity level differences to be too much, for me. The age difference didn't bother her at all. I would have felt awkward in public, because, folks would "assume" I was the mom or grandmom, and I hate that when folks make assumptions! For me, and this is tried & true, I do well with someone 10 years younger, and no more or less! It is different for different folks, but I wouldn't ever date anyone older than me. __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

09-07-2018, 09:50 PM	#37
Tuff Stuff Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2013 Location: California Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 904 Thanked 1,315 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9408454	Just Me Older women have always been my thing. But as I am ageing,five or less years younger than me works,but nothing under forty years. Nothing wrong with younger ladies,just how I feel about it.

09-07-2018, 10:09 PM	#38
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,177 Times in 4,341 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	I can see the benefit of a gf 50 years younger than me as long as she can afford to pay for a therapist. __________________ ______________________________ ______________________________

09-08-2018, 01:17 AM	#39
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,836 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	Mines still the same! __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

09-08-2018, 09:41 AM	#40
CherylNYC Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: I'm a woman. Behave accordingly. Relationship Status: Single, not looking. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: NYC Posts: 1,467 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,474 Thanked 7,116 Times in 1,205 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	A 23 year old tried to pick me up at a bar a few months ago! I'm not making this up. I'm more than three decades older than she was. NO! I mean, HELL no. I formerly dated women who were significantly older, but now the energy difference between elders and myself is usually, (but not always), just too large. I'm super-active and very fit. If I ever decide to date again it would ideally be a woman who is within 10 years of me in either direction. __________________ Cheryl