Things you should never say on a date.

C0LLETTE · 06-09-2018, 12:03 PM

Nice restaurant. Hey, let's break the ice. Want to see me balance the steak knife on the tip of my nose?

C0LLETTE · 06-09-2018, 12:06 PM

I hear this is a great movie. Ohhhhh damn I dropped my popcorn all over the floor! Can you help me pick it up, I didn't bring enough cash for another bag.

C0LLETTE · 06-09-2018, 12:14 PM

Happy you asked:
Gosh, that was long ago...yeah, I think she was the ex of my ex who was the ex of the woman I dated last year who was the ex of her cousin's ex when her ex was dating the ex i had dated before this ex when her ex started dating my cousin's ex before her ex got involved with this straight woman who had 6 kids, some of whom i dated last year because I had no idea they were the ex' ex ex ex's.
Gosh, I really like you. Are you free tomorrow?

C0LLETTE · 06-09-2018, 12:21 PM

Tell me your thoughts on birth control, abortion and the immaculate conception....oh look, the appetizers and salad are coming!

C0LLETTE · 06-09-2018, 12:34 PM

Waiter's coming:
Please don't order anything for me that has red meat, pink meat, fish, poultry, wheat product, corn product, any kind of oil ( I don't care if it's olive or avocado ),vegetables that grows above or below ground or any fruit that has seeds and pits bigger that.0001 mm, anything that may have come out of a cow, including milk, cream, butter, yoghurt, also no cheese of any kind.

I'll just give you the list when the waiter comes.I'm really sorry I had no time to tell you before you picked the restaurant.

2qt · 06-09-2018, 01:52 PM

Where do you work, like what part of town & what address?
Does it pay good money?
What's your mothers name?
Have you ever had sex on a 1st date?
Do you fall in love easily?
So tell me about yourself? (Whilst telling me their entire life story without taking a single breath)
Do you wanna to do a selfie together because I wanna show my friends who i'm on a date with?

Then after all those questions comes the famous last question...

So what do you see in me & would you like to go on another date?

Uhhh..... Let me get back to you on that....

imperfect_cupcake · 06-09-2018, 03:38 PM

When I date, I don't expect to be the only woman the person is dating. it's *dating* after all, we aren't in a relationship. And hopefully people are honest about that.

so I don't mind people telling me they are dating/screwing/whatever other people - this is honest and I appreciate honesty. I also feel less pressure knowing I'm not going to be expected to give them full monogamy and my life's attention after one meeting of 2 hours - and that's been asked of me A LOT.

But there is a way to do it and a way NOT to do it, eh?

for example, the way *not* to do it, is to tell me how awesome hot the other person they are shagging is, but how fucked up the dynamics are, that there is tons of drama around it (wow, stop, you are totally winning me over, here by talking about your other dates and how you can't draw boundaries with people) till I interrupt the soliloquy and announce my need for the bathroom.

When I come back, they are staring at the phone fondly. Then say "She wants to know how my date is going" Then promptly shows me a pic of her and says "isn't she hot?"

"Sure. I was super hot at ... 28? too. Weren't we all?"

She then sort of woke up from what she was doing, put the phone face down, and talked to me about her health problems.

We had talked for weeks and she was a friend of a mutual friend, so I knew she wasn't dangerous and she had driven a long way (3.5 hours) to have dinner. I had promised her the couch.

That is where she slept.

You know... tell me you don't promise monogamy in the beginning, or that you are dating others, or that you don't do monogamy ever, even. But ffs, have some fucking manners: if you are out on a date with me, you are out on a date with *ME*.

Bullet dodged, anyway.

one of the many past reasons I don't "date" anymore!

WheatToast · 08-27-2018, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

Waiter's coming:
Please don't order anything for me that has red meat, pink meat, fish, poultry, wheat product, corn product, any kind of oil ( I don't care if it's olive or avocado ),vegetables that grows above or below ground or any fruit that has seeds and pits bigger that.0001 mm, anything that may have come out of a cow, including milk, cream, butter, yoghurt, also no cheese of any kind.

I'll just give you the list when the waiter comes.I'm really sorry I had no time to tell you before you picked the restaurant.

"You know, I hunt and kill all my own meat. If you come home with me tonight (and do right by me), I may be willing to let you try some of my homemade squirrel jerky. It's an aphrodisiac, ya know. I'll even let you have the lil' squirrel's chitlins!"

or

"Wow. I never been with a live lady before."

or

"You know, prison sex ain't so bad as long as you're quick about it, and don't try nothin' too fancy."

kittygrrl · 08-27-2018, 03:58 PM

"I really hate going on blind dates, don't you?" (this is a blind date)

"What's your sign?".................long pause "Oh.....that's usually not a sun sign i'm into"

Blank stares

"Do you mind if i blog this?"

"I usually date blondes" (You're a dark brunette)

"Do you like me?" (Literally, 10 minutes into a date)

WheatToast · 08-27-2018, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

Tell me your thoughts on birth control, abortion and the immaculate conception....oh look, the appetizers and salad are coming!

Say, have you heard the word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ of Nazareth?

WheatToast · 08-27-2018, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WheatToast

Say, have you heard the word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ of Nazareth?

I apologize if this offended anyone. It was intended to describe the kind of ultra conservative Christian who thinks being a lesbian should be punished by death. And she's on a date with a lesbian.

FireSignFemme · 08-28-2018, 01:52 AM

What now I have to pull out your chair for you just because you decided to wear a dress? What next we meet up for a barbecue in hell and you show up in a bathing suit? Well (great big eye roll) if I have to. Just make it quick. I'm not standing here all day.

Well I suppose since I'm the butch I'm the one who's going to have to pay. So what will it be then, the lobster I suppose? They didn't even serve lobster at the place we were at. I don't even care for lobster!

Him - Oh you're in a dress you should have told me, if I'd known you were going to wear a dress I'd have worn one too.
Me – Well I just, when you told me you were transgender...
Him – Transsexual!!!
Me – Oh of course well when you said you were a transsexual...
Him – I am a transsexual!
Me – Okay, when you told me you are a transsexual I guess it just never occurred to me that you might want to show up in a dress so we could match. Um would you like to go home and change? I can wait.

I'm so glad I'm not young any more.

*Anya* · 06-09-2018, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

Happy you asked:
Gosh, that was long ago...yeah, I think she was the ex of my ex who was the ex of the woman I dated last year who was the ex of her cousin's ex when her ex was dating the ex i had dated before this ex when her ex started dating my cousin's ex before her ex got involved with this straight woman who had 6 kids, some of whom i dated last year because I had no idea they were the ex' ex ex ex's.
Gosh, I really like you. Are you free tomorrow?

You remind me so much of my ex.

I never said this.

WheatToast · 08-27-2018, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

Nice restaurant. Hey, let's break the ice. Want to see me balance the steak knife on the tip of my nose?

"Hey! Let's sneak over to the bar near the dance floor and steal drinks from the people dancing! God, I got sooooo crunk doing that last night!"

06-09-2018, 12:03 PM	#1
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,168 Times in 4,339 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Nice restaurant. Hey, let's break the ice. Want to see me balance the steak knife on the tip of my nose? __________________ ______________________________ ______________________________

06-09-2018, 12:06 PM	#2
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,168 Times in 4,339 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	I hear this is a great movie. Ohhhhh damn I dropped my popcorn all over the floor! Can you help me pick it up, I didn't bring enough cash for another bag. __________________ ______________________________ ______________________________

06-09-2018, 12:14 PM	#3
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,168 Times in 4,339 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Happy you asked: Gosh, that was long ago...yeah, I think she was the ex of my ex who was the ex of the woman I dated last year who was the ex of her cousin's ex when her ex was dating the ex i had dated before this ex when her ex started dating my cousin's ex before her ex got involved with this straight woman who had 6 kids, some of whom i dated last year because I had no idea they were the ex' ex ex ex's. Gosh, I really like you. Are you free tomorrow? __________________ ______________________________ ______________________________

06-09-2018, 12:21 PM	#4
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,168 Times in 4,339 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Tell me your thoughts on birth control, abortion and the immaculate conception....oh look, the appetizers and salad are coming! __________________ ______________________________ ______________________________

06-09-2018, 12:34 PM	#5
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,168 Times in 4,339 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Waiter's coming: Please don't order anything for me that has red meat, pink meat, fish, poultry, wheat product, corn product, any kind of oil ( I don't care if it's olive or avocado ),vegetables that grows above or below ground or any fruit that has seeds and pits bigger that.0001 mm, anything that may have come out of a cow, including milk, cream, butter, yoghurt, also no cheese of any kind. I'll just give you the list when the waiter comes.I'm really sorry I had no time to tell you before you picked the restaurant. __________________ ______________________________ ______________________________

06-09-2018, 01:52 PM	#6
2qt Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her.. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Mothership Posts: 873 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 861 Thanked 1,966 Times in 582 Posts Rep Power: 15312204	Where do you work, like what part of town & what address? Does it pay good money? What's your mothers name? Have you ever had sex on a 1st date? Do you fall in love easily? So tell me about yourself? (Whilst telling me their entire life story without taking a single breath) Do you wanna to do a selfie together because I wanna show my friends who i'm on a date with? Then after all those questions comes the famous last question... So what do you see in me & would you like to go on another date? Uhhh..... Let me get back to you on that....

06-09-2018, 03:38 PM	#7
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,711 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	When I date, I don't expect to be the only woman the person is dating. it's dating after all, we aren't in a relationship. And hopefully people are honest about that. so I don't mind people telling me they are dating/screwing/whatever other people - this is honest and I appreciate honesty. I also feel less pressure knowing I'm not going to be expected to give them full monogamy and my life's attention after one meeting of 2 hours - and that's been asked of me A LOT. But there is a way to do it and a way NOT to do it, eh? for example, the way not to do it, is to tell me how awesome hot the other person they are shagging is, but how fucked up the dynamics are, that there is tons of drama around it (wow, stop, you are totally winning me over, here by talking about your other dates and how you can't draw boundaries with people) till I interrupt the soliloquy and announce my need for the bathroom. When I come back, they are staring at the phone fondly. Then say "She wants to know how my date is going" Then promptly shows me a pic of her and says "isn't she hot?" "Sure. I was super hot at ... 28? too. Weren't we all?" She then sort of woke up from what she was doing, put the phone face down, and talked to me about her health problems. We had talked for weeks and she was a friend of a mutual friend, so I knew she wasn't dangerous and she had driven a long way (3.5 hours) to have dinner. I had promised her the couch. That is where she slept. You know... tell me you don't promise monogamy in the beginning, or that you are dating others, or that you don't do monogamy ever, even. But ffs, have some fucking manners: if you are out on a date with me, you are out on a date with ME. Bullet dodged, anyway. one of the many past reasons I don't "date" anymore!

08-27-2018, 03:58 PM	#9
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: gf Relationship Status: Til you believe Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,732 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,722 Thanked 22,150 Times in 7,220 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	"I really hate going on blind dates, don't you?" (this is a blind date) "What's your sign?".................long pause "Oh.....that's usually not a sun sign i'm into" Blank stares "Do you mind if i blog this?" "I usually date blondes" (You're a dark brunette) "Do you like me?" (Literally, 10 minutes into a date) __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

08-28-2018, 01:52 AM	#12
FireSignFemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: N/A Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: WA Posts: 4,434 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 37,962 Thanked 10,277 Times in 3,145 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	What now I have to pull out your chair for you just because you decided to wear a dress? What next we meet up for a barbecue in hell and you show up in a bathing suit? Well (great big eye roll) if I have to. Just make it quick. I'm not standing here all day. Well I suppose since I'm the butch I'm the one who's going to have to pay. So what will it be then, the lobster I suppose? They didn't even serve lobster at the place we were at. I don't even care for lobster! Him - Oh you're in a dress you should have told me, if I'd known you were going to wear a dress I'd have worn one too. Me – Well I just, when you told me you were transgender... Him – Transsexual!!! Me – Oh of course well when you said you were a transsexual... Him – I am a transsexual! Me – Okay, when you told me you are a transsexual I guess it just never occurred to me that you might want to show up in a dress so we could match. Um would you like to go home and change? I can wait. I'm so glad I'm not young any more.