Caregivers and Stress

girl_dee · 07-15-2018, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

I have to admit that moving mom is exhausting. She has her and dad's stuff, her parents stuff, and dad's parents stuff. The worst part is that she wants to keep it all.

I did manage to take a few pieces to the auction house but it did not make much of a difference.

I started moving stuff at the end of June and we are not to halfway yet. Part of the problem is that we have very little help. There are no guys helping just my cousin, my ex, and a dear friend. We are paying a lady to pack her stuff part time but that is going too slow.

Not to mention it is July in Texas with temperatures in the hundreds. I have started looking for more hired help. Ugh

This cannot be easy. I hope it goes smoother from here on out.

Chad · 07-15-2018, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

This cannot be easy. I hope it goes smoother from here on out.

Thank you, Dee. I hope that it gets better too.

Chad · 07-25-2018, 06:50 PM

We are in the last big push to get mom moved out. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

I hope that on August 1st I can go to work and this will all be over.

JDeere · 07-25-2018, 09:25 PM

Im about to the point of leaving the house and living out of my truck. Mom bitches at me cuz she thinks im mean when i talk to my dad. NO he needs the truth, its his fault that hes in the predicament he is in, hes non complaint, eats whatever he wants, etc. He has the balls to yell at me for drinking a soda, i said im not diabetic and i dont have problems like he does, so im mean.

Im sorry if i was diabetic i would abide by the diet and take meds without bitching, ive done without soda and junk food before i sure as fuck can do it again IF needed.

Also he goes to the doctor and does not ask questions, he gets mad if i or my mom ask for him. They wont allow him to have anti depressants and its bs. Hes obsessive and depressed but all i hear is that doctors dont give people his age those meds bullshit they give dementia/Alzheimer's meds that contain anti depressants, his mom was on them.

Im about done with it all.

Kelt · 07-28-2018, 11:42 AM

PBS Newshour is running a series every Thursday addressing some current options/issues facing caregivers. The first two have focused on using outside help, a subject I am personally aquainted with. They are good to know about options and these episodes so far have been pretty accurate in my personal experience. They run about 10 minutes each.

*I’m not aware of how to imbed non-YouTube videos, so the links will have to do.*

This one is about hourly private help; the shortages/expenses and how poorly the jobs pay:

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/wh...-pay-so-poorly

The one from the week before deals with Adult Family/Foster homes specifically in Oregon. State laws are highly variable and a lot of research is required. In my experience the best care is highly sought after and therefore hard to find. Word of mouth.

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/in...or-the-elderly

One thing I know of from discussing with others around the country is that the pricing is very regionally dependent and needs to be investigated on a case by case basis. I found that the prices quoted in the videos are low compared to what I have seen in central WA state where my mother lives.

Kelt · 07-28-2018, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

We are in the last big push to get mom moved out. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

I hope that on August 1st I can go to work and this will all be over.

Having moved my mother twice in the last three years you have my direct sympathies.

Chad · 07-31-2018, 07:58 AM

Day 35 of moving mom. I am exhausted in everyway. The sheer mass of her her stuff is overwhelming. Today they deliver a dumpster.

MsTinkerbelly · 07-31-2018, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

Day 35 of moving mom. I am exhausted in everyway. The sheer mass of her her stuff is overwhelming. Today they deliver a dumpster.

After my Mom passed away we had to go through some of the stress you have faced...it feels like never ending torture! I was determined that my daughter wouldn’t have to go through it when I am gone.

Take a deep breath, you got this!

Chad · 08-05-2018, 08:33 AM

The move will not be over this weekend. It is hot and I am overwhelmed. Yesterday was hard loading and unloading by myself. Thank goodness mom cuts me a break when I rage over the heat and the mass of her stuff. We now have one shed on my land and two rentals.

We are taking today off. Yay!

07-25-2018, 06:50 PM	#3
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,310 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Caregivers We are in the last big push to get mom moved out. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I hope that on August 1st I can go to work and this will all be over.

07-25-2018, 09:25 PM	#4
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,833 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	Im about to the point of leaving the house and living out of my truck. Mom bitches at me cuz she thinks im mean when i talk to my dad. NO he needs the truth, its his fault that hes in the predicament he is in, hes non complaint, eats whatever he wants, etc. He has the balls to yell at me for drinking a soda, i said im not diabetic and i dont have problems like he does, so im mean. Im sorry if i was diabetic i would abide by the diet and take meds without bitching, ive done without soda and junk food before i sure as fuck can do it again IF needed. Also he goes to the doctor and does not ask questions, he gets mad if i or my mom ask for him. They wont allow him to have anti depressants and its bs. Hes obsessive and depressed but all i hear is that doctors dont give people his age those meds bullshit they give dementia/Alzheimer's meds that contain anti depressants, his mom was on them. Im about done with it all. __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

07-31-2018, 07:58 AM	#7
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,310 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Caregivers Day 35 of moving mom. I am exhausted in everyway. The sheer mass of her her stuff is overwhelming. Today they deliver a dumpster.

08-05-2018, 08:33 AM	#9
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,310 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Caregivers The move will not be over this weekend. It is hot and I am overwhelmed. Yesterday was hard loading and unloading by myself. Thank goodness mom cuts me a break when I rage over the heat and the mass of her stuff. We now have one shed on my land and two rentals. We are taking today off. Yay!

07-28-2018, 11:42 AM	#5
Kelt Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Beach Butch Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: SoCal Posts: 2,751 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 19,765 Thanked 15,268 Times in 2,538 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	PBS Newshour is running a series every Thursday addressing some current options/issues facing caregivers. The first two have focused on using outside help, a subject I am personally aquainted with. They are good to know about options and these episodes so far have been pretty accurate in my personal experience. They run about 10 minutes each. I’m not aware of how to imbed non-YouTube videos, so the links will have to do. This one is about hourly private help; the shortages/expenses and how poorly the jobs pay: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/wh...-pay-so-poorly The one from the week before deals with Adult Family/Foster homes specifically in Oregon. State laws are highly variable and a lot of research is required. In my experience the best care is highly sought after and therefore hard to find. Word of mouth. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/in...or-the-elderly One thing I know of from discussing with others around the country is that the pricing is very regionally dependent and needs to be investigated on a case by case basis. I found that the prices quoted in the videos are low compared to what I have seen in central WA state where my mother lives.