The Planet's Sangha: Buddhist discussions, thought, etc.

[oblivia]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

I am really not afraid of dying, because in that it is like being recycled like an aluminum can. What I am afraid of is being terminally ill and having no support. After what I just experienced, I now know what to expect from my family. Nothing. I am on my own. And that is one bitter pill to take - like so many of us know first hand.

Ouch. That's difficult. Family is difficult. I'm big on the concept of choosing my Family. family is what I was born into, but Chosen Family has earned the right to be there - does that make sense? It empowers me to surround myself with people who truly love me and who are healthy for me without forgetting where I came from.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Yes, but I believe in constant forgiveness. I should always be forgiving. No matter what the situation is. Not for them, but for me.

[oblivia]

I don't think having a Chosen Family precludes the concept of forgiveness. But I agree that forgiving is a very healing thing to do for one's self.

[Martina]

i am currently reading Pema Chodron's No Time to Lose, which is her explication of Shantideva's Way of the Bodhisattva. i recommend it.

i recommend all of her books.

[roy g biv]

I love this thread. Thank you, Linus, for starting it and thanks to all who have contributed thus far. I look forward to more.

[Sparx1_1]

Originally Posted by oblivia

I don't think having a Chosen Family precludes the concept of forgiveness. But I agree that forgiving is a very healing thing to do for one's self.

Forgiving is very healing but that does not mean you should forget or put yourself into the same situation again and again. Sometimes even when you forgive you also have to move on.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I never thought of forgiveness as being for other people but for myself. It is like turning the other cheek. To some I am just a dormat for them to walk all over. I will never understand that. I think that after watching two people I loved dearly die horrible deaths from cancer recently, I don't take life for granite. Life is so short. People are people no matter where you go, online or in real life. You have to be comfortable in your own skin, and be proud of who and what you are, and have a faith that you can rely on no matter what it is.

[oblivia]

I really liked this recent Daily Dharma as well ....

I like how these make me think.

June 1, 2010
Tricycle's Daily Dharma
Mindfulness Leads to Wisdom

In a state of mindfulness, you see yourself exactly as you are. You see your own selfish behavlor. You see your own suffering. And you see how you create that suffering. You see how you hurt others. You pierce right through the layer of lies that you normally tell yourself, and you see what is really there. Mindfulness leads to wisdom.

- Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, from “Mindfulness and Concentration,” Tricycle, Fall 1998

[oblivia]

June 6, 2010
Tricycle Daily Dharma
Cultivate a Spacious mind

When you do meditate on a specific object, such as the breath, that object will help you to develop concentration, and concentration will enable you to cultivate a quiet and spacious mind. But you must be careful not to focus your attention too narrowly on the object, as that can constrain your practice. You should keep your primary focus on the object of meditation, but try to do so with a wide-open awareness. As you follow the breath, for instance, allow yourself to also be aware of what is happening in and around you. Be conscious of sounds, thoughts, sensations, feelings - but without fixating on, grasping, or rejecting any of these things.

-Martine Batchelor, "A Refuge into Being" (Winter 2002)

I like this as a tool. It can be hard to maintain focus when meditating and there are exterior noises (phone ringing, kids chatting, tv on in another room, traffic, car bass going down the road lol etc). I find being able to allow the distractions to float by in your mind like clouds rather than trying to hold onto them.