The MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary

[Arwen]

Femmezilla, n (fehm zill ah) From the Butchese "DEARGODHERESHECOMESAGAINIS"

This is an individual always of the femme persuasion who is terminally single. She can be found in every singles thread and some couples thread.

Unlike the individual of the femme persuasion who engages in some occasional BOOOTCH HUNTING, this individual of the femme persuasion is in perpetual heat. Her main hunting grounds are the aforementioned singles threads, but she can also be found in the Welcome threads where she only welcomes new individuals of the butch persuasion.

Every post from her is somehow sexual in nature and she is put out if no one responds in kind. Often has overtly sexual pictures for her avatar and signature picture.

This individual of the femme persuasion often simpers and flirts even when it's been made clear to her that there is no interest. Femmezillas think that given enough time, any individual of the butch persuasion will fall just like Tokyo.

And do not be anywhere near her when her current fixation becomes "off the market". Like her namesake, Femmezilla shoots flame out of her mouth and lightning out of her.. ahem... tail.

Femmezillas take advantage of any situation. If in a car, they will scootch over so that they are as close to the nearest available individual of the butch persuasion. If at a houseparty, they will create situations for couch snuggling, spooning, and other intimate moments.

Femmezillas do not take hints. They do not even take 2x4's over the head. They think other individuals of the femme persuasion who tell them to "chill out" or "give it(him) a rest" are just after the butch they want. Keep in mind that the individual of the butch persuasion this femme monster wants is the nearest single breathing fellow.

If pursued by a Femmezilla, the best choices are to latch on to a nearby individual of the femme persuasion. Tell her the scenario and then pretend to, as they say in Harry Potter, snog that individual of the femme persuasion.

Do note that this can place the camoflage femme in extreme danger. Try to choose an individual of the femme persuasion who has no problems educating other femmes of what's appropriate and not appropriate.

In conclusion, do try to stay off the radar of the Femmezillas. They can and do travel in packs but will readily back stab and backbite any and all other individuals of the femme persuasion.

[Arwen]

Butchasaurus Rex, n (bootch ah sore ahs recks) From the Femmenese "SOMEONENEEDSACLUEBYFOURITICUS"

This is an individual always of the butch persuasion who is terminally single. He can be found in every singles thread and some couples thread. This individual of the butch persuasion will hand out hugs and kisses and flowers to every single individual of the femme persuasion who so much as smiles at him.

Testosterone flares and posturing are evident when around other individuals of the butch persuasion. This is exhibited in defending individuals of the femme persuasion from "uncouth" or "boorish" remarks.

Please note that the individual of the femme persuasion isn't the one making this call. This is always at the Butchasaurus Rex's opinion.

This individual of the butch persuasion often uses chivalry and gallantry as shields to hide behind. When told point blank that his attentions are unwanted, he will say things like "Aw shucks, I'm nice to all the femmes. It's just who I am" or "Well if you only want a bad boy I guess I'll have to back down."

He will then badmouth the individual of the femme persuasion and make it seem as if she were pursuing him and he had to tell her to back off. As with the Femmezilla, do not be anywhere near him when his current fixation becomes "off the market". Much roaring and screaming and waving of tiny arms will occur.

The Butchasaurus Rex is a strange creature. He may only come on strong in PM's or IM's and seem casual and distant in threads. He will take advantage of situations to get the individual of the femme persuasioh by herself however and should not be trusted. Desperation is a sure-fire sign that you may be under the gaze of a Butchasaurus Rex.

In conclusion, do try to stay off the radar of the Butchasaurus Rex. They can be as vindictive as their Femmezilla counterparts and will tell tales out of school to other individuals of the butch persuasion.

Unlike the Femmezilla, these monsters of the butch persuasion are not prone to traveling in packs.

[Arwen]

Butchimodo, n (bootch ee moe doe) From The Samoan To Strut Like A Shark In Heat

The Butchimodo is a variety of butch rarely noticed in cyber. However they can be found. Their natural habitat is the bar and back alley where they have the room to ply their skills.

Often found wearing tight jeans and boots, the Butchimodo has a confident air about her or him that many varieties of Individuals of the femmes persuasion (and some individuals of the GenderQueerTrannyFag bois/girl persuasion) find very attractive.

Not known for their loudness or over eagerness, they are easily spotted by the sound of their heel hitting the floor. This accompanied by the neat cracking of the crease in their 501's (sometimes Dockers) immediately identifies them as prime Butchimodo candidates.

Individuals of the femmes persuasion should take note that most good Butchimodos are either married or poly so if you want one of your very own, you must employ a steadiness of heart and a patience of will. There are enough to go around. You just may have to wait for the next Butchimodo to spot you.

Commonly found near non-drama water holes.

Sometimes mistakenly called Butchiquasimodo, but that is a far different creature whose hump always gives his evil intentions away.

Adversely opposed to Femmezillas and Butchasaurus Rexes.

Fondly dedicated to the first Butchimodo the staff at MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary ever met, Lonnie.

[Arwen]

Isthatawordaphobia (n. "iz thaht ah werd ah foe bee ah") from the Zombian "to look it up"


Medical term describing the fear that someone has not misspelled a word but has used a word you actually don't know.

Often seen in Mensa-types and Mensa-wannabes.

Often those who suffer from this disorder can be seen hitting their frequently used shortcut to dictionary.com or pushing back from their desk to grab the nearest dictionary.

Someone with this disease often ends up making up dictionary definitions that suit some alternative universe they live in. This is to fend off the feelings of disappointment when they find a great word that isn't really a word.

See Also: FantasyWorlditis

[Arwen]

FlouncenBounce v. (French - Hisse'exite')

Verb usage: To fling one's self from a room or a thread. Generally seen in those who suffer from Dramaticusexitus. Often noted when passions are running high and a person of the Femme or Butch persuasion feels that they are being either ignored or (worse) not agreed with.

Example: Arwen flouncenbounced her ass right out of the thread "Poodles--better off dead". Seems she wanted everyone to see how wrong they were and how right she was.

Normally this event occurs with a great deal of drama concealed as restraint.

Example: Well, I would tell you what I really think but that might get me fruited so I am just going to unsubscribe from this thread.

Common responses to this are:

"Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya."
"Watch out for that doorknob."

Often creates a dichotomy of resentment vs sympathy.

A most common side effect is the Revolving Door Flouncenbounce. This is where the person of the Femme or Butch persuasion announces they are leaving and then comes back.

Failed flouncenbouncing is rampant on some threads and should be seen as a possible medical disorder such as CantLeaveItAlonus.

[tuffboi29]

So donating money to the dictionary cause may or may not keep me from being described in it?What if I bribed the arthor with chocolate and a bottle of finely aged red wine?



*slips the arthor with a bar o' *

*whispers* We can keep this between us...I won't tell if you won't.

[Arwen]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

So donating money to the dictionary cause may or may not keep me from being described in it?What if I bribed the arthor with chocolate and a bottle of finely aged red wine?



*slips the arthor

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

with a bar o' *

*whispers* We can keep this between us...I won't tell if you won't.

Dear Briber,

While the staff here as the MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary does appreciate the gifts, we must maintain our stance that all are subject to being lampooned.

Hopefully, when one does find oneself in a definition, one will be in the plus category rather than the minus.

As they say, Defined is as Defined does...

Cordially Yours,

The Staff of the MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary

[Arwen]

The staff need inspiration. Words? Terms?

[Arwen]

I feel an itch to define something. Anyone want to play?

[Arwen]

IceacreamiaTelephobia, n. (Eyes ah kreem ee ah foe bee ah), from Latin "Sweet and Creamy Tempting"

This is the fear that when you answer the phone, your friends will be breaking Femme Rule #33 by calling you from an ice cream parlor when you are not there with them. This fear can cause phone screening. A person trying to get over this fear can often be seen drooling while talking on the phone. Sometimes you will see them talking, drooling AND driving as they hurry to the nearest ice cream place to soothe their sudden craving for "Cake Batter" ice cream. Most often seen in individuals of the femme persuasion.

This definition is fondly dedicated to Clover and Byte Me.

[Arwen]

Revolv-a-Loveritis (ree vohl vah luff err eye tis) N. From The Greek (KItsbeentwoweeksnextiticus)

This medical condition seems to affect both individuals of the butch and of the femme persuasion. Can be often researched by reading threads where there are two weeks or two months of "I love you" "No I love you more" posts followed by a deathly silence then a similar posting between one of the previous set and someone new. User notes can also be used to reveal this condition.

Sometimes confused with the RubberBandBetweenUsism, but that condition exists only between two people who break up, get back together, break up, ad ifinitum.

This is a completely curable condition, but it can take a very long time as Revolv-a-Loveritis, as the APA has recently announced, is more appropriately an addiction with roots in CantBeAlonus and SingleScaresMeism. Because of this, psychiatrists recommend group talk therapy, twelve step groups such as Swivelnecks Anonymous and turning the computer off.

Do take note that this IS a serious condition and should NOT be approached by non-professionals. This condition requires years of research. Many of those who are recovering Revolv-a-Loveritis sufferers have a kneejerk reaction when in the presence of those silent sufferers or still in denial. This can, if unchecked, cause Drama Llamas and multiple fruit sightings.

One sure way to check is to see if the individual carries a U-Haul or other moving company credit card or has friends with trucks who automatically say, rather than hello, no I won't help you move.

SYNONYMS: Swivelnecks, UHaulaphiles, Nextians

[Arwen]

Maggie (Steh la) n. From the Williamson "To Stand On A Hot Metal Exterior Cover"

This is an individual of the femme persuasion. Easily identified by her outer wear (skinfitting black pedal pushers and white blouses so tight the top three buttons can NOT be buttoned), this individual of the femme persuasion has been known to have the morals of a cat in heat. She is a very restless kind of woman. The kind who has been associated with a feline on a more than warm metal building top in fact.

The Maggies of the world wrap those individuals of a butch persuasion around their little finger faster than you can say, "Big Daddy please." And when she decides she is done with an individual of the butch persuasion, her ending of that relationship can cause even the most stable individuals of the butch persuasion to drink a bit and reminisce about the good ol' days.

Non-Maggie individuals of the femme persuasion often refer to Maggies in the most scathing of tones implying many things including fast and loose women who go down easy and come up swinging. Interestingly enough, the individuals of the butch persuasion do not see much wrong with the Maggies unless they've been cut loose by one.

Sadly, many Maggies do end up with brutish clods for partners. It is one of the downfalls of being a Maggie. Lying is also a Maggie trait but it's only to protect those she loves--herself.

The staff used that the wrong play in the original definition. It has been rectified in this edition.