What have you done for yourself today?

candy_coated_bitch · 10-23-2019, 11:20 PM

Forced myself to go to therapy and spent time with a dear friend.

Orema · 12-11-2019, 08:55 AM

Yesterday I took a mental-health day—those are days when I do whatever I want to do.

I got a mani-pedi, did all my laundry, changed linen, watched TV and just did the things I wanted to do.

I needed a break from work and I am better today for focusing on myself yesterday.

Chad · 12-11-2019, 09:08 PM

I requested the day off work next week for my birthday.
Yay! Sleep in and eat lobster.

Gráinne · 12-11-2019, 09:34 PM

I made a decision that henceforth, I will not:

1. Give advice, unless asked. No advising about work/school/someone else's relationship/no nothing. Day 1: no one asked my advice.

2. Remind another adult about their business. That means nothing along the lines of "Did you cash your check?"/"Did you call (whoever) back?"/"Did you make the reservations?". Day 1: I thought I would turn purple from holding back my reminding, but I made it, I think, pretty well. I need to trust that adults don't need my "Mommying". I've been fired from that job, remember?

3. Butt in and control someone else. For example, I went to David's Burgers with a friend for lunch yesterday (right after my counseling appointment in which we discussed my controlling!). You get a little tag with a number on it to put into a holder on your table so the server can bring your order. Out of habit, I said "Put the tag in the holder". Mommy alert!

I'm going to have to trust that another adult has been around those little tags and knows what to do, without my input.

I feel like I've barely said two words all day, because I was monitoring what I was about to say for any reminding, controlling, or advising. But I feel a weight of "hyperalertness" dropping off that I carried around, watching for any situation I had to control and make sure everything was going my way and everyone was doing things my way, with no surprises (the reasons for that I suspect are very deep and painful to root out, but good work nevertheless).

Which, of course, frees up a great deal of energy to work on the only thing I ultimately control-myself and my life. I got to put off dealing with myself when I muscled in on everyone else's lives.

Sorry I wrote an essay

.

kittygrrl · 12-11-2019, 10:17 PM

had a nice leisurely dinner w friends then

bar..a beautiful evening

kittygrrl · 12-12-2019, 06:25 PM

black leggings, white shirt, black velveteen blazer, black suede boots, silver bracelets-looked good

Gráinne · 01-14-2020, 05:06 PM

I now have a standing weekly manicure and monthly pedicures. I don't care if no one else sees my green glittery toenail polish, I know it's there and I feel dangerous

.

10-23-2019, 11:20 PM	#1
candy_coated_bitch Pixie Stick How Do You Identify?: The arteest formerly known as musicfemme. Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Happily taken. Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Northampton, MA Posts: 11,293 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,723 Thanked 31,824 Times in 6,109 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Forced myself to go to therapy and spent time with a dear friend. __________________ My Etsy Shop My Patreon My Website

12-11-2019, 09:08 PM	#3
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	For me I requested the day off work next week for my birthday. Yay! Sleep in and eat lobster.

12-11-2019, 09:34 PM	#4
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,117 Thanked 7,386 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I made a decision that henceforth, I will *not*: 1. Give advice, unless asked. No advising about work/school/someone else's relationship/no nothing. Day 1: no one asked my advice. 2. Remind another adult about their business. That means nothing along the lines of "Did you cash your check?"/"Did you call (whoever) back?"/"Did you make the reservations?". Day 1: I thought I would turn purple from holding back my reminding, but I made it, I think, pretty well. I need to trust that adults don't need my "Mommying". I've been fired from that job, remember? 3. Butt in and control someone else. For example, I went to David's Burgers with a friend for lunch yesterday (right after my counseling appointment in which we discussed my controlling!). You get a little tag with a number on it to put into a holder on your table so the server can bring your order. Out of habit, I said "Put the tag in the holder". Mommy alert! I'm going to have to trust that another adult has been around those little tags and knows what to do, without my input. I feel like I've barely said two words all day, because I was monitoring what I was about to say for any reminding, controlling, or advising. But I feel a weight of "hyperalertness" dropping off that I carried around, watching for any situation I had to control and make sure everything was going my way and everyone was doing things my way, with no surprises (the reasons for that I suspect are very deep and painful to root out, but good work nevertheless). Which, of course, frees up a great deal of energy to work on the only thing I ultimately control-myself and my life. I got to put off dealing with myself when I muscled in on everyone else's lives. Sorry I wrote an essay . __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

12-11-2019, 10:17 PM	#5
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: just for fun Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,634 Thanked 22,019 Times in 7,121 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	had a nice leisurely dinner w friends then bar..a beautiful evening __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

12-12-2019, 06:25 PM	#6
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: just for fun Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,634 Thanked 22,019 Times in 7,121 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	black leggings, white shirt, black velveteen blazer, black suede boots, silver bracelets-looked good __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

12-11-2019, 08:55 AM	#2
Orema Superlative Soul Sister How Do You Identify?: Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Moving in a single file Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Cottage of Content Posts: 13,619 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 41,453 Thanked 34,707 Times in 8,944 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Yesterday I took a mental-health day—those are days when I do whatever I want to do. I got a mani-pedi, did all my laundry, changed linen, watched TV and just did the things I wanted to do. I needed a break from work and I am better today for focusing on myself yesterday.

01-14-2020, 05:06 PM	#7
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,117 Thanked 7,386 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I now have a standing weekly manicure and monthly pedicures. I don't care if no one else sees my green glittery toenail polish, I know it's there and I feel dangerous . __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck