What have you done for yourself today?

Gráinne · 12-11-2019, 09:34 PM

I made a decision that henceforth, I will not:

1. Give advice, unless asked. No advising about work/school/someone else's relationship/no nothing. Day 1: no one asked my advice.

2. Remind another adult about their business. That means nothing along the lines of "Did you cash your check?"/"Did you call (whoever) back?"/"Did you make the reservations?". Day 1: I thought I would turn purple from holding back my reminding, but I made it, I think, pretty well. I need to trust that adults don't need my "Mommying". I've been fired from that job, remember?

3. Butt in and control someone else. For example, I went to David's Burgers with a friend for lunch yesterday (right after my counseling appointment in which we discussed my controlling!). You get a little tag with a number on it to put into a holder on your table so the server can bring your order. Out of habit, I said "Put the tag in the holder". Mommy alert!

I'm going to have to trust that another adult has been around those little tags and knows what to do, without my input.

I feel like I've barely said two words all day, because I was monitoring what I was about to say for any reminding, controlling, or advising. But I feel a weight of "hyperalertness" dropping off that I carried around, watching for any situation I had to control and make sure everything was going my way and everyone was doing things my way, with no surprises (the reasons for that I suspect are very deep and painful to root out, but good work nevertheless).

Which, of course, frees up a great deal of energy to work on the only thing I ultimately control-myself and my life. I got to put off dealing with myself when I muscled in on everyone else's lives.

Sorry I wrote an essay

.

kittygrrl · 12-11-2019, 10:17 PM

had a nice leisurely dinner w friends then

bar..a beautiful evening

kittygrrl · 12-12-2019, 06:25 PM

black leggings, white shirt, black velveteen blazer, black suede boots, silver bracelets-looked good

Gráinne · 01-14-2020, 05:06 PM

I now have a standing weekly manicure and monthly pedicures. I don't care if no one else sees my green glittery toenail polish, I know it's there and I feel dangerous

.

kittygrrl · 01-16-2020, 03:54 PM

Date tonight..Cream, Irish Fishermen's knit sweater (Mid-thigh length), cashmere scarf over shoulders, Loden green leggings, black-green boots, Gold French curve chain link bracelet..just eyeliner and black raspberry lipgloss..I hope She likes

listening to:

homoe · 01-16-2020, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

Date tonight..Cream, Irish Fishermen's knit sweater (Mid-thigh length), cashmere scarf over shoulders, Loden green leggings, black-green boots, Gold French curve chain link bracelet..just eyeliner and black raspberry lipgloss..I hope She likes

listening to:

woot...woot....You go girl, at least someone has a date!

Kätzchen · 12-24-2024, 01:50 PM

I finally purged my entire studio of everything from the past few years and tonight I plan to light candles and sage my home. The act of living within simplicity leaves a deep feeling of facing change with ambitious perspective. I finally have room now to grow in a better direction. Oh, and going to my gym to get in my workout today and early tomorrow. I always feel better after a workout.

Here’s to a better tomorrow.

12-11-2019, 09:34 PM	#1
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,117 Thanked 7,386 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I made a decision that henceforth, I will *not*: 1. Give advice, unless asked. No advising about work/school/someone else's relationship/no nothing. Day 1: no one asked my advice. 2. Remind another adult about their business. That means nothing along the lines of "Did you cash your check?"/"Did you call (whoever) back?"/"Did you make the reservations?". Day 1: I thought I would turn purple from holding back my reminding, but I made it, I think, pretty well. I need to trust that adults don't need my "Mommying". I've been fired from that job, remember? 3. Butt in and control someone else. For example, I went to David's Burgers with a friend for lunch yesterday (right after my counseling appointment in which we discussed my controlling!). You get a little tag with a number on it to put into a holder on your table so the server can bring your order. Out of habit, I said "Put the tag in the holder". Mommy alert! I'm going to have to trust that another adult has been around those little tags and knows what to do, without my input. I feel like I've barely said two words all day, because I was monitoring what I was about to say for any reminding, controlling, or advising. But I feel a weight of "hyperalertness" dropping off that I carried around, watching for any situation I had to control and make sure everything was going my way and everyone was doing things my way, with no surprises (the reasons for that I suspect are very deep and painful to root out, but good work nevertheless). Which, of course, frees up a great deal of energy to work on the only thing I ultimately control-myself and my life. I got to put off dealing with myself when I muscled in on everyone else's lives. Sorry I wrote an essay . __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

12-11-2019, 10:17 PM	#2
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: sipping on honey wine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,493 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,653 Thanked 22,079 Times in 7,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	had a nice leisurely dinner w friends then bar..a beautiful evening __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

12-12-2019, 06:25 PM	#3
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: sipping on honey wine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,493 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,653 Thanked 22,079 Times in 7,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	black leggings, white shirt, black velveteen blazer, black suede boots, silver bracelets-looked good __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

01-14-2020, 05:06 PM	#4
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,117 Thanked 7,386 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I now have a standing weekly manicure and monthly pedicures. I don't care if no one else sees my green glittery toenail polish, I know it's there and I feel dangerous . __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

01-16-2020, 03:54 PM	#5
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: sipping on honey wine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,493 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,653 Thanked 22,079 Times in 7,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Date tonight..Cream, Irish Fishermen's knit sweater (Mid-thigh length), cashmere scarf over shoulders, Loden green leggings, black-green boots, Gold French curve chain link bracelet..just eyeliner and black raspberry lipgloss..I hope She likes listening to: __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

12-24-2024, 01:50 PM	#7
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: May 2010 Location: Sharing my life with my granddaughter, family & friends. ツ Posts: 16,144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,544 Thanked 33,569 Times in 10,678 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Positive holiday woo-woo 🎄🎁✨☺️ I finally purged my entire studio of everything from the past few years and tonight I plan to light candles and sage my home. The act of living within simplicity leaves a deep feeling of facing change with ambitious perspective. I finally have room now to grow in a better direction. Oh, and going to my gym to get in my workout today and early tomorrow. I always feel better after a workout. Here’s to a better tomorrow. __________________ “The way someone treats you is not a reflection of your worth: It’s a reflection of their emotional capacity,” ~ Jillian Turecki.