Caregivers and Stress - Page 26

homoe · 05-16-2020, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

It has come to my attention that I may not be specific sometimes. I am working from home these days. At 6:30 am I make mom and I breakfast then I work. At noon I make mom and I lunch, then I work. At 4:30 I make dinner. After that everything else. Cleaning, laundry, yardwork, groceries, cats, and anything else. Nothing here gets done if I don't do it. Sometimes I want to take the I out of all this work. Maybe go dancing for a change.

Not to make light of your situation Chad but wait until after the social distancing thing for dancing! How much "fun" can be had when we have to hold our dancing partner 6 feet away..

Chad · 05-16-2020, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by homoe

Not to make light of your situation Chad but wait until after the social distancing thing for dancing! How much "fun" can be had when we have to hold our dancing partner 6 feet away..

Funny, my lady will have a big laugh about that.

. Stay safe my friend I heart you.

homoe · 05-16-2020, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

Funny, my lady will have a big laugh about that.

. Stay safe my friend I heart you.

OMG I've heard of romance budding while being incarcerated, but finding romance and a loved one during a pandemic, you my friend ROCK.....

Chad · 05-17-2020, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by homoe

OMG I've heard of romance budding while being incarcerated, but finding romance and a loved one during a pandemic, you my friend ROCK.....

Buddy, I love life. The we in my mentions represents so many of my loved ones. Stay home and stay safe.

Jar · 05-26-2020, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

Seems like I live in this thread now. I am struggling. I work and travel for business a lot. And when I come home there is more work.

I used to be happy. I dated and had fun. Now life is work every day. No fun and no dating.

I can honestly say that I am very unhappy these days.

I owe this to mom she saved me by adopting me but this is a hard debt to pay.

I totally understand my friend. I haven't posted here for a while because I've been moving between hospitals and rehabs with my mom. I feel the same as you do .... I owe my mom for a lifetime of support and love but it IS a big debt to pay.

Jar · 05-26-2020, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

Buddy, you are the best. Thank you for hearing me. Yes, I am alone. My dad and brother left years ago. It is a struggle, sometimes I win and sometimes I fail but I keep fighting every day. This year mom will be 89 years old.

I think my personal life is mostly gone now.

Mine too. My life is all about doctors, medicare, hospitals and trying to navigate the system with everything on lock down because of this fucking covid. I'm the only one allowed in to see my mom and that's only because my sister raised hell with the hospital administrator. It's exhausting, both mentally and physically. One day you and I will meet for a well deserved drink

Starfish · 05-27-2020, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jar

Mine too. My life is all about doctors, medicare, hospitals and trying to navigate the system with everything on lock down because of this fucking covid. I'm the only one allowed in to see my mom and that's only because my sister raised hell with the hospital administrator. It's exhausting, both mentally and physically. One day you and I will meet for a well deserved drink

My heart hurts and sympathizes with both of you. It's difficult to be in this stage of life. My beautiful, vibrant Mom has Alzheimer's and she doesn't understand why we can't hug and must visit on the porch. I met my kids there last week so they could tell her and my Dad that they would be great-grandparents and it was so bittersweet; all of us sitting there with masks on and my Dad fussing at my Mom to keep hers in place. Their roles have reversed and I'm ensuring they both have all they need. I'm becoming the parent and I've lost part of who I am as she loses herself. Keep your chins up both and gentle hugs to you. Be good to yourselves.

Chad · 06-02-2020, 10:00 PM

Caring for mom. I think that I am getting used to this now. It is hard work but we have a routine.

Thank goodness for my friends and chosen family. I think we are making progress. I sang today that is a great sign that I feel happy.

Kelt · 06-06-2020, 02:45 PM

My mother is experiencing “complications from a fall“, many tests and meds over the last couple of weeks, a trip to the ER yesterday. This is not going well.

And I can’t do a damn thing to help her.

~ocean · 06-06-2020, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kelt

My mother is experiencing “complications from a fall“, many tests and meds over the last couple of weeks, a trip to the ER yesterday. This is not going well.

And I can’t do a damn thing to help her.

((((( you & your mom ))))))

~SweetCheeks~ · 06-17-2020, 12:37 AM

Last summer "Justin" my spouse was diagnosed with end stage liver failure considered terminal. We have spent the last 9 months learning how to live our new normal. I am doing my best to keep her alive, healthy as I can and keep her comfortable. She is doing better just battling serious weight loss and fluid buildup from the liver not working well which is causing severe pain. She also was diagnosed with kidney failure. I have developed lists for all appointments with all her updated info and any changes. I have become a fierce advocate and voice for her as some Drs like to ignore needed treatments or act like I haven't done extensive research. It's one of the hardest things I have ever experienced watching the one I love with everything slowly lose more and more of their independence, but also hopeful watching how hard she's fighting to keep somewhat of a normal life. She was able to return to work from home and that has helped her so much. Much love and support to all the caregivers out there. sorry for the rambling

clay · 06-17-2020, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kelt

My mother is experiencing “complications from a fall“, many tests and meds over the last couple of weeks, a trip to the ER yesterday. This is not going well.

And I can’t do a damn thing to help her.

(((((((((((((((((((((Kelt & your mom))))))))))))). Keeping you both in love & light daily! That is very challenging to be distanced, not to mention feeling so helpless. I am so sorry, my friend! Take care of you!

clay · 06-17-2020, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~SweetCheeks~

Last summer "Justin" my spouse was diagnosed with end stage liver failure considered terminal. We have spent the last 9 months learning how to live our new normal. I am doing my best to keep her alive, healthy as I can and keep her comfortable. She is doing better just battling serious weight loss and fluid buildup from the liver not working well which is causing severe pain. She also was diagnosed with kidney failure. I have developed lists for all appointments with all her updated info and any changes. I have become a fierce advocate and voice for her as some Drs like to ignore needed treatments or act like I haven't done extensive research. It's one of the hardest things I have ever experienced watching the one I love with everything slowly lose more and more of their independence, but also hopeful watching how hard she's fighting to keep somewhat of a normal life. She was able to return to work from home and that has helped her so much. Much love and support to all the caregivers out there. sorry for the rambling

(((((((((((((((SweetCheeks))))))))))))) Bless you & Justin both! I know how very hard this is on the both of you. 11 years ago, I had this same challenge & heartbreak in my own life, watching my LTR partner pass away, after fighting 26 months (Stage 4, Terminal breast cancer, with metastases, esp her liver..which is what she succumbed to, too weak to fight any longer. This is gut wrenching, one is fraught with so many emotions, challenges, thoughts, and stress. I can't imagine your own journey with this, but know even from afar, you both are in my heart, & prayers daily! You know how much I love you both! Gentle hugs for you, my sweet friend!!

JustLovelyJenn · 06-18-2020, 05:32 PM

New adventure in the life of Jenn as a caregiver... I am spending part of the summer in Utah, helping my cousin who has stage four metastatic breast cancer. She is on her THIRD run of chemo... and its kicking her ass. I am doing my best to just make sure she has what she needs and leave her alone to rest... but this is defiantly a new experience for me. While taking care of my kiddo is demanding, there are things I can do, things that help, structure to follow. Taking care of my mother when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, was a challenge, but it was new, and it was early, and the prognosis was easy. No chemo, radiation only, take the lump, eat healthy take your meds and go back to your life. Seeing everything my cousin is dealing with is hard. She knows this is not getting better. She knows we are just prolonging things as long as possible... hoping she makes it to her daughters high school graduation, her college graduation, her wedding, her first grandbabies birth. But, we dont know if any of that will happen. And I can see it in her, and it hurts my heart.

Chad · 07-12-2020, 09:49 AM

Hi, mom and I are good and we are safe here in no where Texas. Her mobility has diminished to about 10 %. I think it is time for a scooter.

I hope friends are safe in this pandemic.

C0LLETTE · 07-12-2020, 10:23 AM

hey chad, can i come and live with you and your mom? i'd love to live safely in nowhere somewhere.

Chad · 07-12-2020, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

hey chad, can i come and live with you and your mom? i'd love to live safely in nowhere somewhere.

Ha! My heart says yes but you would have to pass a ton of medical tests first.

C0LLETTE · 07-12-2020, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

Ha! My heart says yes but you would have to pass a ton of medical tests first.

As long as none of them deal with my mental health I should do fine.

Chad · 09-12-2020, 04:20 PM

We are okay. A scientist being a caregiver is hard but I am trying to make peace with it. Mom is at about 10% mobility now so that makes everything a little harder. She eats and sleeps I think she sleeps about 20 hours a day.

My life is upside down. I am day dreaming of a villa in Italy for retirement.

Kelt · 10-04-2020, 03:22 PM

About two weeks ago my mother started coming around in her mind and was able to speak to me in short sentences for a short time. That is the best she has been in four months since her fall and the resulting complications. I was so relieved, I thought for a while she was gone for good.

Today is her 89th birthday, for the first time ever we got to spend a few minutes on FaceTime, it was great. Normally I would’ve flown up there to be with her for a few days but this year everything is screwy, sending an iPad was the best I could do.

Happy birthday mom!

06-02-2020, 10:00 PM	#508
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,312 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers Caring for mom. I think that I am getting used to this now. It is hard work but we have a routine. Thank goodness for my friends and chosen family. I think we are making progress. I sang today that is a great sign that I feel happy.

06-17-2020, 12:37 AM	#511
~SweetCheeks~ Member How Do You Identify?: femme-babygirl-brat Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Justin's babygirl Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: So Cal Posts: 733 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,608 Thanked 3,253 Times in 646 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Tired and sad Last summer "Justin" my spouse was diagnosed with end stage liver failure considered terminal. We have spent the last 9 months learning how to live our new normal. I am doing my best to keep her alive, healthy as I can and keep her comfortable. She is doing better just battling serious weight loss and fluid buildup from the liver not working well which is causing severe pain. She also was diagnosed with kidney failure. I have developed lists for all appointments with all her updated info and any changes. I have become a fierce advocate and voice for her as some Drs like to ignore needed treatments or act like I haven't done extensive research. It's one of the hardest things I have ever experienced watching the one I love with everything slowly lose more and more of their independence, but also hopeful watching how hard she's fighting to keep somewhat of a normal life. She was able to return to work from home and that has helped her so much. Much love and support to all the caregivers out there. sorry for the rambling

06-18-2020, 05:32 PM	#514
JustLovelyJenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Aberdeen, WA Posts: 4,478 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,464 Thanked 13,991 Times in 3,684 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	New adventure in the life of Jenn as a caregiver... I am spending part of the summer in Utah, helping my cousin who has stage four metastatic breast cancer. She is on her THIRD run of chemo... and its kicking her ass. I am doing my best to just make sure she has what she needs and leave her alone to rest... but this is defiantly a new experience for me. While taking care of my kiddo is demanding, there are things I can do, things that help, structure to follow. Taking care of my mother when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, was a challenge, but it was new, and it was early, and the prognosis was easy. No chemo, radiation only, take the lump, eat healthy take your meds and go back to your life. Seeing everything my cousin is dealing with is hard. She knows this is not getting better. She knows we are just prolonging things as long as possible... hoping she makes it to her daughters high school graduation, her college graduation, her wedding, her first grandbabies birth. But, we dont know if any of that will happen. And I can see it in her, and it hurts my heart. __________________ --Jenn

07-12-2020, 09:49 AM	#515
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,312 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers Hi, mom and I are good and we are safe here in no where Texas. Her mobility has diminished to about 10 %. I think it is time for a scooter. I hope friends are safe in this pandemic.

07-12-2020, 10:23 AM	#516
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,171 Times in 4,339 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	hey chad, can i come and live with you and your mom? i'd love to live safely in nowhere somewhere. __________________ ______________________________ ______________________________

06-06-2020, 02:45 PM	#509
Kelt Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Beach Butch Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: SoCal Posts: 2,751 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 19,765 Thanked 15,279 Times in 2,538 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	My mother is experiencing “complications from a fall“, many tests and meds over the last couple of weeks, a trip to the ER yesterday. This is not going well. And I can’t do a damn thing to help her.

09-12-2020, 04:20 PM	#519
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,312 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers We are okay. A scientist being a caregiver is hard but I am trying to make peace with it. Mom is at about 10% mobility now so that makes everything a little harder. She eats and sleeps I think she sleeps about 20 hours a day. My life is upside down. I am day dreaming of a villa in Italy for retirement.

10-04-2020, 03:22 PM	#520
Kelt Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Beach Butch Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: SoCal Posts: 2,751 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 19,765 Thanked 15,279 Times in 2,538 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	About two weeks ago my mother started coming around in her mind and was able to speak to me in short sentences for a short time. That is the best she has been in four months since her fall and the resulting complications. I was so relieved, I thought for a while she was gone for good. Today is her 89th birthday, for the first time ever we got to spend a few minutes on FaceTime, it was great. Normally I would’ve flown up there to be with her for a few days but this year everything is screwy, sending an iPad was the best I could do. Happy birthday mom!