Breeder and other words we use to hurt our own. - Page 2

Nat · 06-11-2010, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

I find the word Breeder when used in reference to ANY woman vulgar and offensive. It reduces a woman (once again) to her reproductive organs.

I really like your statement here specifically. I think the word "breeder" is a slur.

Darth Denkay · 06-13-2010, 12:30 PM

Getting rid of flippant language: Check yourself here

This was the thread I read immediately before I read this one.

The word in question is offensive to folks on this site. That should be enough. Sometimes context doesn't matter. Well, okay, in at least one case it does. See, I have a friend who is a breeder. She breeds Siberian Huskies.

There are countless ways to refer to individuals who have children that are not offensive. My mother had two children, but she is not a breeder. See, that would make me a calf now wouldn't it.

A dialogue about patriarchy expecting women to bear children, identifying that as their most important role, is certainly a valid discussion. Using words in that discussion that are offensive are not necessary as well as disrespectful. Surely we have sufficient vocabulary to get our point across without being offensive.

06-13-2010, 02:10 PM

I have a friend, who is femme, and chose to be artificially inseminated. She wanted a child. Is she a breeder? No. She is a Mother and in my book, that's the most supreme acknowledgment/compliment I can give her.

People who have nasty things to say have nasty hearts and even nastier minds.

TenderKnight · 06-13-2010, 02:59 PM

Interesting thread..

Superfemme, thanks for starting it.. Once again, the people on this site have gotten me thinking about how I go through life and the words that I use and how I use them.

I work in Hillcrest, the *gay* area of San Diego. I work in a retail store that has adult toys and DVD's as well as clothing. Mostly clothing, honestly.. In any case, we cater to mainly gay males. I have used words to describe the straight college kids that look at the dildos and giggle, or the guys that come in on thier cells saying, "Yeah, dude, i just walked into the gay shop". I refer to some of them as breeders to my other co-workers.. Is this right? No.. I never even thought it was hurtful. Reading this thread has changed my views on the term and I won't be using it, or will at least correct myself when I do use it.

We also refer to some of the more.. Flamboyant.. gay men as Queens. Keep in mind, over half the staff are gay men or at least bi.. But we use it in a derogatory way, usually for the guys that come in, ask for all the size 14 heels we have, try them on, act like.. well, Queens.. and then don't buy anything.

I'll be honest, we tend to call people a lot of things.. lmao.

Now I have to sit back and ask.. why?

My thought is that for *me*, it is out of anger and frustration. I have to get at them some way and I can't be rude to thier faces, so it gets the frustration out..

Unprofessional? Hell yes.. Very human? Also, yes.

Someone mentioned the fact that human nature is human nature, and sadly, part of that nature is making one feel better about ones' self by putting another person or a group of people down. I feel angry and belittled with straight boy comes in and finds it funny to see the gay store, like we're a friggin' zoo.. I feel frustrated and belittled when a customer takes 30 to 40 minutes of my time, me climbing ladders and getting shoes and they can't even make eye contact with me and treat me like a servant? Fuck yeah that pisses me off and I may refer to them as a fucking queen.

Words do have power. They can be weapons, or they can be tools for healing.. It's all about how we use them.

Just my .2 on the "shim" "he/she" thing.. *sighs* I am not a fan. I will admit when i was growing up and in the closet, i threw that word around with my then friends and buddies. I was trying to be a part of the straight guy world, and amazingly, there was a lot of name calling involved.. lol Now? I still hear the term, mostly from older lesbians, to be truthful.. *shrugs* I try to explain about transgender and all the personal story stuff, and sometimes it takes, sometimes it doesn't.. But i chalk that one up to ignorance or just plain ass hat behavior (ass hat, now that's a word I'm going to start throwing around more..).

That is how I've used words to hurt others.. In truth, it only hurts and belittles me to use them and to have that negitive energy so near to my heart.. Something that I'm working on, daily.

Thanks again for the thread and to everyone that posted.

-Tony

SuperFemme · 06-13-2010, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TenderKnight

Interesting thread..

Superfemme, thanks for starting it.. Once again, the people on this site have gotten me thinking about how I go through life and the words that I use and how I use them.

I work in Hillcrest, the *gay* area of San Diego. I work in a retail store that has adult toys and DVD's as well as clothing. Mostly clothing,
honestly.. In any case, we cater to mainly gay males.

Oh Hey. I got ran over in Hillcrest on Sixth and Robinson. Somewhere at that intersection there is an outline of my body. Totally serious.

I have used words to describe the straight college kids that look at the dildos and giggle, or the guys that come in on thier cells saying, "Yeah, dude, i just walked into the gay shop". I refer to some of them as breeders to my other co-workers.. Is this right? No.. I never even thought it was hurtful. Reading this thread has changed my views on the term and I won't be using it, or will at least correct myself when I do use it.

I love your honesty. I am also fascinated that you use this term on males. It is super cool that you are going to change your thinking, that makes this thread worth it time 100.

We also refer to some of the more.. Flamboyant.. gay men as Queens. Keep in mind, over half the staff are gay men or at least bi.. But we use it in a derogatory way, usually for the guys that come in, ask for all the size 14 heels we have, try them on, act like.. well, Queens.. and then don't buy anything.

I'll be honest, we tend to call people a lot of things.. lmao.

Now I have to sit back and ask.. why?

My thought is that for *me*, it is out of anger and frustration. I have to get at them some way and I can't be rude to thier faces, so it gets the frustration out..

Unprofessional? Hell yes.. Very human? Also, yes.

Maybe this is the way you take your power back? Having to serve people that are rude to you all day while being forced to smile has to suck.

Someone mentioned the fact that human nature is human nature, and sadly, part of that nature is making one feel better about ones' self by putting another person or a group of people down. I feel angry and belittled with straight boy comes in and finds it funny to see the gay store, like we're a friggin' zoo.. I feel frustrated and belittled when a customer takes 30 to 40 minutes of my time, me climbing ladders and getting shoes and they can't even make eye contact with me and treat me like a servant? Fuck yeah that pisses me off and I may refer to them as a fucking queen.

Words do have power. They can be weapons, or they can be tools for healing.. It's all about how we use them.

Just my .2 on the "shim" "he/she" thing.. *sighs* I am not a fan. I will admit when i was growing up and in the closet, i threw that word around with my then friends and buddies. I was trying to be a part of the straight guy world, and amazingly, there was a lot of name calling involved.. lol Now? I still hear the term, mostly from older lesbians, to be truthful.. *shrugs* I try to explain about transgender and all the personal story stuff, and sometimes it takes, sometimes it doesn't.. But i chalk that one up to ignorance or just plain ass hat behavior (ass hat, now that's a word I'm going to start throwing around more..).

That is how I've used words to hurt others.. In truth, it only hurts and belittles me to use them and to have that negitive energy so near to my heart.. Something that I'm working on, daily.

Thanks again for the thread and to everyone that posted.

-Tony

Again, your post is awesome and has given me some great insight. Thank you so much for sharing and being brave enough to put out there how and why you might use hurtful language in your own community (and out of it). I really appreciate it.

JakeTulane · 06-13-2010, 03:16 PM

I would like to know other's thoughts on the usage of the word Faggot. I have had it used on Me, and not in a good way. Quite frankly, I have never heard it used in a good way. So, I would have to say to Me it is a word to hurt our own. IMHO.

waxnrope · 06-13-2010, 03:27 PM

Thinking, Jake, and as I recollect, I have never heard the word faggot used as an endearment ... fag, sometimes, yes.

I refer to myself (as do some of my friends) as a "faggy" butch ... it is meant as an acknowledgment that I share some stereotypical behaviors and ways of being as my gay brothers. These are good things, by the way. So, I don't mind that, nor do my gay male friends, as they, too, call me this at times. But, faggot, no. Never in my recollection have heard it in anyway except derogatorily.

06-13-2010, 12:30 PM	#2
Darth Denkay Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I'm good with whatever Relationship Status: in love and loved Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Tennessee (Memphis, from Chattanooga) Posts: 315 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 456 Thanked 463 Times in 150 Posts Rep Power: 891935	Getting rid of flippant language: Check yourself here This was the thread I read immediately before I read this one. The word in question is offensive to folks on this site. That should be enough. Sometimes context doesn't matter. Well, okay, in at least one case it does. See, I have a friend who is a breeder. She breeds Siberian Huskies. There are countless ways to refer to individuals who have children that are not offensive. My mother had two children, but she is not a breeder. See, that would make me a calf now wouldn't it. A dialogue about patriarchy expecting women to bear children, identifying that as their most important role, is certainly a valid discussion. Using words in that discussion that are offensive are not necessary as well as disrespectful. Surely we have sufficient vocabulary to get our point across without being offensive. __________________ Darth

06-13-2010, 02:59 PM	#4
TenderKnight Member How Do You Identify?: Kinky Poly Transman Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Monroe, NC Posts: 551 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 773 Thanked 822 Times in 256 Posts Rep Power: 2402408	Interesting thread.. Superfemme, thanks for starting it.. Once again, the people on this site have gotten me thinking about how I go through life and the words that I use and how I use them. I work in Hillcrest, the gay area of San Diego. I work in a retail store that has adult toys and DVD's as well as clothing. Mostly clothing, honestly.. In any case, we cater to mainly gay males. I have used words to describe the straight college kids that look at the dildos and giggle, or the guys that come in on thier cells saying, "Yeah, dude, i just walked into the gay shop". I refer to some of them as breeders to my other co-workers.. Is this right? No.. I never even thought it was hurtful. Reading this thread has changed my views on the term and I won't be using it, or will at least correct myself when I do use it. We also refer to some of the more.. Flamboyant.. gay men as Queens. Keep in mind, over half the staff are gay men or at least bi.. But we use it in a derogatory way, usually for the guys that come in, ask for all the size 14 heels we have, try them on, act like.. well, Queens.. and then don't buy anything. I'll be honest, we tend to call people a lot of things.. lmao. Now I have to sit back and ask.. why? My thought is that for me, it is out of anger and frustration. I have to get at them some way and I can't be rude to thier faces, so it gets the frustration out.. Unprofessional? Hell yes.. Very human? Also, yes. Someone mentioned the fact that human nature is human nature, and sadly, part of that nature is making one feel better about ones' self by putting another person or a group of people down. I feel angry and belittled with straight boy comes in and finds it funny to see the gay store, like we're a friggin' zoo.. I feel frustrated and belittled when a customer takes 30 to 40 minutes of my time, me climbing ladders and getting shoes and they can't even make eye contact with me and treat me like a servant? Fuck yeah that pisses me off and I may refer to them as a fucking queen. Words do have power. They can be weapons, or they can be tools for healing.. It's all about how we use them. Just my .2 on the "shim" "he/she" thing.. sighs I am not a fan. I will admit when i was growing up and in the closet, i threw that word around with my then friends and buddies. I was trying to be a part of the straight guy world, and amazingly, there was a lot of name calling involved.. lol Now? I still hear the term, mostly from older lesbians, to be truthful.. shrugs I try to explain about transgender and all the personal story stuff, and sometimes it takes, sometimes it doesn't.. But i chalk that one up to ignorance or just plain ass hat behavior (ass hat, now that's a word I'm going to start throwing around more..). That is how I've used words to hurt others.. In truth, it only hurts and belittles me to use them and to have that negitive energy so near to my heart.. Something that I'm working on, daily. Thanks again for the thread and to everyone that posted. -Tony __________________ The beatings shall continue.. until moral improves..

06-13-2010, 02:10 PM	#3
Femme Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	I have a friend, who is femme, and chose to be artificially inseminated. She wanted a child. Is she a breeder? No. She is a Mother and in my book, that's the most supreme acknowledgment/compliment I can give her. People who have nasty things to say have nasty hearts and even nastier minds.

06-13-2010, 03:16 PM	#6
JakeTulane Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Mr. Prickly Porcupine Preferred Pronoun?: Butch - Hy, Hym, Hys Relationship Status: She has softened My quills Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Permanently Banned 8/8/2011 Posts: 4,880 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,221 Thanked 5,264 Times in 2,732 Posts Rep Power: 0	I would like to know other's thoughts on the usage of the word Faggot. I have had it used on Me, and not in a good way. Quite frankly, I have never heard it used in a good way. So, I would have to say to Me it is a word to hurt our own. IMHO.

06-13-2010, 03:27 PM	#7
waxnrope Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 5/27/2011 Preferred Pronoun?: hy ho, hy ho; he, she, it, whatever Relationship Status: Going slow ... Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: in her orifices ... la frontera Posts: 1,433 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,414 Thanked 2,957 Times in 952 Posts Rep Power: 0	Thinking, Jake, and as I recollect, I have never heard the word faggot used as an endearment ... fag, sometimes, yes. I refer to myself (as do some of my friends) as a "faggy" butch ... it is meant as an acknowledgment that I share some stereotypical behaviors and ways of being as my gay brothers. These are good things, by the way. So, I don't mind that, nor do my gay male friends, as they, too, call me this at times. But, faggot, no. Never in my recollection have heard it in anyway except derogatorily.