Breeder and other words we use to hurt our own.

[Nat]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

What I never understood was
why do those who choose not to have children
feel the need to judge those of us who do and
them flame us with those nasty little words.
They made their choice, we made ours and if your
reading this today, thank a mother.

I think because people without children feel oppressed by those who have them?

I knew two sisters who stopped talking for a whole year because the one with a child told the one without a child that she didn't feel like she was a real woman until she gave birth. So it cuts both ways. It's painful on both sides, I think.

[Spirit Dancer]

Originally Posted by Nat

I think because people without children feel oppressed by those who have them?

I knew two sisters who stopped talking for a whole year because the one with a child told the one without a child that she didn't feel like she was a real woman until she gave birth. So it cuts both ways. It's painful on both sides, I think.

Yes I know that, but was referring to those who made the choice not
to have a child. I feel for those who want and cannot have a child, my heart breaks for them.

[Liam]

I think it is heterophobic.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I personally do not see women less than just because they can not or do not or choose not to have children.

Does not make them less than to me...

[apretty]

Originally Posted by Liam

I think it is heterophobic.

yeah i'm suspicious of hetero (christian families with 2 parents and a minivan/xtra large suv) that haven't done the work (why should they?/they don't have to!) especially the white men who haven't done the work, who think that there is such a thing as hetero-phobia and/or reversed-racism. who are born into their privilege and deny it every day of their lives. call me phobic, but that's kinda *fishy behavior* to me.

[SuperFemme]

i think this is one way that the term separates us as a community.

pitting those w/children against those w/o children.

women are fucking AMAZING by the very virtue of being women. not because they reproduce or not.

[evolveme]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

i think this is one way that the term separates us as a community.

pitting those w/children against those w/o children.

women are fucking AMAZING by the very virtue of being women. not because they reproduce or not.

Apropos to Dylan’s original point, it is the conditions of patriarchy that pits women against one another, and that forces the competition.

Unless it is evolution. (Though certainly patriarchy could be a tool of evolution.)

[Nat]

I was watching youtubes of queer poetry recently and I ran into this discussion of the term "stud." I found it really interesting because I'd never heard anybody argue against the use of the term "stud" within the queer community and also because of the relationship of that word to breeding animals. Obviously this is a term many people in our community claim with pride, I really think there are possible parallels between the terms "stud" and "breeder."

(Since you mentioned other words that hurt our own)

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Nat

I was watching youtubes of queer poetry recently and I ran into this discussion of the term "stud." I found it really interesting because I'd never heard anybody argue against the use of the term "stud" within the queer community and also because of the relationship of that word to breeding animals. Obviously this is a term many people in our community claim with pride, I really think there are possible parallels between the terms "stud" and "breeder."

(Since you mentioned other words that hurt our own)

Stud in our culture means more of a machismo way of saying the best.

At least in my experience.

[Jet]

This doesn't surprise me at all. There's a lot of discrimination in the queer community and I have been the object as such.

I had gay men friends who always used breeder when talking about straights. None of this is new to me.

[waxnrope]

re the stud comparison above. the term was used during slavery to indicate the BREEDING capability of black men ...

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by waxnrope

re the stud comparison above. the term was used during slavery to indicate the BREEDING capability of black men ...

which makes sense as to the poem that was spoken.

[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by Jet

This doesn't surprise me at all. There's a lot of discrimination in the queer community and I have been the object as such.

I had gay men friends who always used breeder when talking about straights. None of this is new to me.

Way to make it about you.

Though, it raises the salient point that the term "breeders" doesn't refer solely to women, but to heterosexuals in general, aka "those who breed."

Because no queer person ever got pregnant. |:

The term "breeder" isn't necessarily one which pits woman against woman, except in this context, in which homosexual women (here) might use it as a put down toward heterosexual women (those "others"). Not having children v. having children.

It's an absurd and demeaning generalization, not to mention, we all know having babies is bad.

Studs oughta quit makin' em.

[Nat]

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

The term "breeder" isn't necessarily one which pits woman against woman, except in this context, in which homosexual women (here) might use it as a put down toward heterosexual women (those "others").

It can also be used by anybody LGBTQ against anybody else LGBTQ (who also has kids or has been in a position to have kids).

In your women vs women scenario above, queer women can use this term against other queer women.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Jet

This doesn't surprise me at all. There's a lot of discrimination in the queer community and I have been the object as such.

I had gay men friends who always used breeder when talking about straights. None of this is new to me.

I gotta ask Jet

Do you let your gay men friends continue to use this ugly term? Or do you call them on their shit?

Curious how you blend in with the boys, I really am..