Ask a trans person!

[CamBAMF]

Originally Posted by weatherboi

Hey Cam-

I really suggest maybe you turn to some of your femme/female friends and speak with them about this. Most women I know find their bathroom space sacred. It can be a space for them to "go" to the bathroom yes, but many of the women I know use their bathroom space as a place to do many other "things" that don't involve just the stall and toilet paper. It is a private female place for them to relax. I also know that unlike us guys they are private in regards to the "going" experience. I once had a girl tell me the only thing missing in a womens restroom is sound effects so that people cant hear her going. Yes it is that private to them. So when a guy invades that female only space then it can be alarming and disenchanting to their experience. Guys/FtMs view going to the bathroom in a entirely different light. We go in, do the deed, and get out. The end.

It is not hard to understand with violence against women being as high as it is that when they see a guy/FtM enter into their scene, it is alarming at best for most of them. I am FtM that has done no physical transitioning yet I use the men's bathroom because I want to, it is where I am comfortable. I have seen the looks on women's faces when I enter that space and it makes me feel like I am invading their space and ya know what ??? I am!!! So I will never understand why a guy/FtM would choose to use a female bathroom.

Sexism and safety. I don't think we are over-reacting. There is a fine line here between being FtM and uncomfortable because of safety reasons and being FtM and asserting priviledge because fears can't be pushed passed. I feel he is asserting priviledge from a fearful place. The reality of it is his fluidity with being a guy should send him straight to the guys restroom. IMHO


I appretiate your posts but fear you are taking a nonchalant stance on the invasion of a female space that is no longer ours to have that attitude about.

Thanks in advance for considering what I have said!
Grant

I understand that. I mean I was female, I have girl friends, and I had them before transistioning. I know the going ons in public bathrooms. This sacred space is the nature of the beast in which society created.

In the UK (mind you this is not a first hand experience account) the law says anyone may use any public convenience, regardless of gender, provided that they are using it only for it's intended purpose.

It's not a female space- its a public space that was granted to females for reasons unnown- likely fear. Its not fair for any of us to say that a FTM has to push past thier fear to use the mensroom, but a female does not have to push past her fear to share the room. There is no privledge here. This action of relieving ones self made news somewhere. He wasn't let off because he was a guy- but I haven't heard a report on females entering males room. Like I said before, no one bats an eye if a female uses a males bathroom. I did when I was young, I've seen girl friends, and female family members use mens bathroom for different reason. You can not say a female bathroom is sacred space, but a male bathroom is fair game.

I feel like everyone is throwing the word sexism and safty but not seeing that these things work both ways. It is just as sexist to say a man/ftm can not go into a female bathroom because that is a sacred space to them- and they fear us, but its okay for them to come into the mens room. And its just as sexist to say a Ftm HAS to use the mens room (where they are uncomfortable- for safty reasons) because using the females room makes them uncomfortable-for safety reasons. Whos comfortability is worth more? Thats why I am for unisex/family bathroom. We are equally uncomfortable. no one has 'priviledge'.

Now, I am defending the FTM, but do not misunderstand me. I do not think it is right to make anyone- whatever gender feel uncomfrotable. No I do not want girls uncomfortable, but neither do I want my FTM brothern to feel uncomfrotable. I am not misogynistic by any stretch of the imagination. I am a huige supporter of womens rights, but only till they are equal to the male counterparts. No one is better then the other.

I do not work in gender. I don't do things now because its the guy thing. I never did things before transitioning because it was a girl thing. I am a human. I would in the plane of other decent moral humans. The right of feeling safe in public space is one shared by all genders. The right to relieve ones self is shared by all of nature. This has become an issue because we have split the two most popular genders' restrooms- an action that has created nothing but other issues on sexism combined with the rights of public space- all for safety purposes; which I'm sorry to say- just do not work.

Unisex bathrooms are the future... Thats all I'm saying.