A friend of Dorothys- how important is community?

[Nat]

I really yearn for rt community and it's very depressing when I have gone too long without it. Thankfully I live near Austin.

I realized recently I would really like a good gay male friend. I actually do have some treasured gay male friends, but they have scattered to the four winds.

I think it would just be really comforting somehow. I guess I am feeling like gay male energy is missing from my life lately.

I did very much enjoy the recent Austin femme tea party - it was quite comforting being around a couple of smartypants positive femme energy - I hope some of it rubbed off on me

[Martina]

i have been spoiled for the last 25 years. Ann Arbor and now the Bay Area.

i would not mind being more out in the country in California. i would lose some community, but i wouldn't really be in a homophobic area unless i went WAY out in the country.

If i moved to someplace truly remote, i am sure i would miss queer community, but what i would miss more is the progressive atmosphere i have gotten used to. i don't want to hear a lot of conservative bullshit on a daily basis.

i like all kinds of people, but i don't want to work THAT hard to get over their politics and prejudices. It's tiring.

[Converse]

Originally Posted by Martina

i have been spoiled for the last 25 years. Ann Arbor and now the Bay Area.

i would not mind being more out in the country in California. i would lose some community, but i wouldn't really be in a homophobic area unless i went WAY out in the country.

If i moved to someplace truly remote, i am sure i would miss queer community, but what i would miss more is the progressive atmosphere i have gotten used to. i don't want to hear a lot of conservative bullshit on a daily basis.

i like all kinds of people, but i don't want to work THAT hard to get over their politics and prejudices. It's tiring.

Did you choose those locations because of community? Or at least was that a consideration, and if so, do you think that your willingness to move to somewhere where it isn’t so prevalent is because you are in a different head space now- a different phase in your life?

I’m trying to get my head around whether “community” is more important for us at certain life stages

[Martina]

i chose Ann Arbor because i was going to graduate school there.

i chose the Bay Area in part because of community (including leather), but also because it was a big city and near the ocean.

Yeah, as i get older, a really good grocery store becomes more important than a good gay bar.

Also, i am happier in my work. That is very enriching. i was bored back in Ann Arbor -- underemployed -- so my social and cultural life was way more important.

i do want a simpler life as i get older. Being near the Important People in my life is the first consideration. Job second. And then i just want peace and tranquility. Nature gives you that. The city -- it's possible, but you have to work at it.

[Rockinonahigh]

Converse
There is slim to un of a bf group of any kind hear,the bf'rs I know are all out of town or online,actualy being bf dosnt work well hear at all.In reality if ppl hear think u r a lesbian couple its ok but bf, not so much.I cant tell u how many times I or my date have gotten some off color coments about the bf way of life,such as ..its out of time or really old fashion or some such bs.I did just ignore such comments and move on with life.For a long time I was part of the glbt community hear way more than now,but over time ppl moved or just lost touch in the daily grind of time..plus there is now a huge age factor im 63 and the ppl who are anywhere close ot me in age have just disapered.

[Converse]

Originally Posted by Nat

I really yearn for rt community and it's very depressing when I have gone too long without it. Thankfully I live near Austin.

I realized recently I would really like a good gay male friend. I actually do have some treasured gay male friends, but they have scattered to the four winds.

I think it would just be really comforting somehow. I guess I am feeling like gay male energy is missing from my life lately.

I did very much enjoy the recent Austin femme tea party - it was quite comforting being around a couple of smartypants positive femme energy - I hope some of it rubbed off on me

I don’t know anything about smartypant femmes but I really get the gay boy thing, its an energy I miss too. When I first moved I was definitely needing some Butch-bonding (which was something I hadn’t ever really considered before), just a friend that knew where you were coming from- someone that you could nod to, and they knew what that nod meant. I have found that now- and it made all the difference.

In the same light, do you think its important for femmes to have close femme friends?