Communication 101: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

violaine · 06-16-2010, 03:11 PM

chancie,

i was responding to the scenario provided. i thought the thread was open to multidimensional discussion dialogue? for people who process things differently/different ideas?

medusa wrote "let's talk about it!"

to me, that meant anyone reading the thread who wishes to respond.

suebee · 06-16-2010, 04:14 PM

One thing is for sure: there's always the possibility that two people will read the same words and hear a completely different message. I remember one time I was hopping mad because of what I considered a snide comment directed at me, and nobody else saw what I saw. So I did the only possible thing there was to do - I apologized. It seems like a simple thing, but as we all know, it ain't always so.

Now on one day or another I'll have no self-control, or I'll be feeling shitty, or the cat just got run over by a car or some such tragedy, and I'll let the person have it with both barrels. But I try to disengage if I feel myself getting tense and know I'm headed for a confrontation, and I try my best not to be baited. And even though we all hope that that type of behavior has been left behind us, we all came to this site with our own baggage. Mine was ordered from Sears by Mommy and Daddy and given to me as a graduation present, so I've had it for quite a while.

I taught crisis intervention to human service professionals for a number of years, and the biggest yet simplest lesson I learned from that was something Medusa mentioned: ask the person what they mean before assuming you know what they're saying. It's worth the time it takes. Believe it or not, 80% of the professionals I taught ASSUMED that if a person in crisis asked questions, they were challenging the authority of the (nurse, teacher, counsellor, etc.) in question. So anyone who finds they do this on occasion - you're in good company.

Great thread Medusa. I'm sure it'll be interesting.

Chancie · 06-16-2010, 04:47 PM

Yes!

Violaine, that is exactly what I thought Medusa was asking.

Perhaps I am focusing too closely on the example she used.

I tend to be a close thinker, and

I know that is not everyone's style.

violaine · 06-19-2010, 11:58 PM

i am thinking about 'mutiny' and 'own agenda', and wanted to share some confusion i've caused / been caused on the site, which may have been viewed, though i doubt harshly, along the lines of those terms.

a thread here on word expressions. for the life of me, i could not seem to get it right! a nice person messaged me after a while, to let me know the rules, which i was sure of, because i was posting in the thread- and said so. probably important to note here that i continued [and continued] to post - and i'm not fond of considering it 'wrong' because it was just 'different'

the posts i submitted were word connections, but not the common phrases/expressions called for in the game. i'm sure it took me a bit of time to sort it out, silly as it may read, better connecting hemispherically.

small example of communication differences, and i let the person know when i finally 'got' the thing everyone else readily grasped.

AtLast · 06-20-2010, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by violaine

chancie,

i was responding to the scenario provided. i thought the thread was open to multidimensional discussion dialogue? for people who process things differently/different ideas?medusa wrote "let's talk about it!"

to me, that meant anyone reading the thread who wishes to respond.

Processing! Yes, individual ways of processing information seems so crucial to me. This along with individual backgrounds, age, race, ethnicity, just life experience all combines in each unique communication style.

The only on-line community I have ever been a part of is this one, really and the one thing that I always have to remember is that there is a wealth of differences between and among us.

LOL... and I am now aware of the post-menopausal structures of my communication process... a new day!

Andrew, Jr. · 06-21-2010, 06:08 PM

I struggle day in and day out with communication. I try very hard to express myself. It is a never-ending battle with me. Words and sentences just are exhausting. Just not my strong suit. I admire those folks who are able to express themselves very well. You are blessed. In school teacher's shamed me for failing tests, and used me as an example to other students. If you don't do this, you will be like so and so.

Andrew

06-16-2010, 04:14 PM	#2
suebee Member How Do You Identify?: TOWANDA! Preferred Pronoun?: Queen Bee Relationship Status: Good 'n married. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Eastern Canada. But if I make a wrong turn at the lights I get stopped by a border guard. Posts: 1,499 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,355 Thanked 2,756 Times in 820 Posts Rep Power: 16450092	One thing is for sure: there's always the possibility that two people will read the same words and hear a completely different message. I remember one time I was hopping mad because of what I considered a snide comment directed at me, and nobody else saw what I saw. So I did the only possible thing there was to do - I apologized. It seems like a simple thing, but as we all know, it ain't always so. Now on one day or another I'll have no self-control, or I'll be feeling shitty, or the cat just got run over by a car or some such tragedy, and I'll let the person have it with both barrels. But I try to disengage if I feel myself getting tense and know I'm headed for a confrontation, and I try my best not to be baited. And even though we all hope that that type of behavior has been left behind us, we all came to this site with our own baggage. Mine was ordered from Sears by Mommy and Daddy and given to me as a graduation present, so I've had it for quite a while. I taught crisis intervention to human service professionals for a number of years, and the biggest yet simplest lesson I learned from that was something Medusa mentioned: ask the person what they mean before assuming you know what they're saying. It's worth the time it takes. Believe it or not, 80% of the professionals I taught ASSUMED that if a person in crisis asked questions, they were challenging the authority of the (nurse, teacher, counsellor, etc.) in question. So anyone who finds they do this on occasion - you're in good company. Great thread Medusa. I'm sure it'll be interesting. __________________ "Compassion, in which all ethics must take root, can only attain its full breadth and depth if it embraces all living creatures and does not limit itself to mankind." -Albert Schweitzer

06-19-2010, 11:58 PM	#4
violaine Timed Out How Do You Identify?: atypical Preferred Pronoun?: plague words and phrases Relationship Status: love wise guys of the avian world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wekiva springs basin Posts: 3,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,934 Thanked 3,293 Times in 1,301 Posts Rep Power: 0	brain hemispheric processing - issues can L/R or anywhere i am thinking about 'mutiny' and 'own agenda', and wanted to share some confusion i've caused / been caused on the site, which may have been viewed, though i doubt harshly, along the lines of those terms. a thread here on word expressions. for the life of me, i could not seem to get it right! a nice person messaged me after a while, to let me know the rules, which i was sure of, because i was posting in the thread- and said so. probably important to note here that i continued [and continued] to post - and i'm not fond of considering it 'wrong' because it was just 'different' the posts i submitted were word connections, but not the common phrases/expressions called for in the game. i'm sure it took me a bit of time to sort it out, silly as it may read, better connecting hemispherically. small example of communication differences, and i let the person know when i finally 'got' the thing everyone else readily grasped. Last edited by violaine; 06-20-2010 at 12:02 AM.

06-16-2010, 03:11 PM	#1
violaine Timed Out How Do You Identify?: atypical Preferred Pronoun?: plague words and phrases Relationship Status: love wise guys of the avian world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wekiva springs basin Posts: 3,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,934 Thanked 3,293 Times in 1,301 Posts Rep Power: 0	chancie, i was responding to the scenario provided. i thought the thread was open to multidimensional discussion dialogue? for people who process things differently/different ideas? medusa wrote "let's talk about it!" to me, that meant anyone reading the thread who wishes to respond.

06-16-2010, 04:47 PM	#3
Chancie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme-inist Relationship Status: I'm lucky. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Western Mass Posts: 3,774 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,518 Thanked 14,541 Times in 2,744 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Yes! Violaine, that is exactly what I thought Medusa was asking. Perhaps I am focusing too closely on the example she used. I tend to be a close thinker, and I know that is not everyone's style.

06-21-2010, 06:08 PM	#6
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I struggle day in and day out with communication. I try very hard to express myself. It is a never-ending battle with me. Words and sentences just are exhausting. Just not my strong suit. I admire those folks who are able to express themselves very well. You are blessed. In school teacher's shamed me for failing tests, and used me as an example to other students. If you don't do this, you will be like so and so. Andrew