Butch & Transmen Friendship: Mutual Support

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Kosmo

Here is the issue for me: I have none. I've never been wounded. I can only speak from an observers point of view. While this may not help the discussion and may seem naive, I would like to know what we have in common.

What I am impressed with is that other folks, like femmes, can delve into some insightful stuff. They look inside of themselves to find those hurts and where they might originate from. They have discussions, they give support and help others find a voice even when they don't agree. They have a bonding that I'm a little envious of.

I'm very confident about who I am, but the world can look so alien to me as I look upon it from my vantage point. At times I feel invisible. Just me alone with my identity and at times I feel like all eyes are on me. Trying to figure me out. How do you find your comfort zone in the world?

Sometimes I see us as phantoms. Coming and going almost stealthily and blending in until that moment when you notice that someone 'sees' you.

This is very true for me, too. I see femmes do this often... the support, the help in finding a voice. And respecting the voices of others. Sure, they disagree, but, the end results look so different to me than among us most of the time. They seem to be able to put aside so much that honestly, gets in our way all of the time. There is some tough stuff being discussed by them in the femme side of this thread, yet, I sense honest interchanges that can get through the BS in the end. They own their own shit, I think. I know, I can't generalize, but, I really do connect with your point, here.

I think you also bring up something else very important - self-confidence. This can be mis-read as arrogance, but it isn't. It's just plain healthy, self-knowledge with no need for defensiveness. Not so easy to develop, but a damn good goal!

Shit, I was going to be quiet...

[Ebon]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

This is very true for me, too. I see femmes do this often... the support, the help in finding a voice. And respecting the voices of others. Sure, they disagree, but, the end results look so different to me than among us most of the time. They seem to be able to put aside so much that honestly, gets in our way all of the time. There is some tough stuff being discussed by them in the femme side of this thread, yet, I sense honest interchanges that can get through the BS in the end. They own their own shit, I think. I know, I can't generalize, but, I really do connect with your point, here.

I think you also bring up something else very important - self-confidence. This can be mis-read as arrogance, but it isn't. It's just plain healthy, self-knowledge with no need for defensiveness. Not so easy to develop, but a damn good goal!

Shit, I was going to be quiet...

I think someone else mentioned having confidence or a strong sense of self. I have a very strong sense of self. I am not perfect but I don't hold on to things and if someone tries to make me feel bad or say something snarky because of or about who I am, I chalk it up to them having the problem not me. Then its automatically off of my shoulders and out of my mind. There is a lot less stress in my life because of it. Now if someone is making a valid point about my actions then I will change them or work on changing myself. Otherwise I just go with the flow and if I don't like the flow, I find another flow to hop into.

[Kosmo]

How do you find your balance in the world? Your center?

I used to watch people as I moved about. I think to see if they looked at me, you know? Waiting for some reaction to my presence in their world.
Now I only look forward and while I feel people watch me, it's empowering to simply move with confidence, like I'm moving in normal speed and the world around me is moving in slow motion.

I'll walk in a women's washroom, grab a stall, wash my hands and shake them, maybe run my damp hands through my hair (if I'm wearing a hat) and then walk out. I'm making more of an effort to take my space in the world. Move about it because it's also mine. Not caring who's looking or even what they're saying.

I was recently walking towards a women's washroom and a guy (waiting for wife and daughter) said to me, 'that's the ladies room'. I ignored him and didn't miss a beat. I feel no need to acknowledge such comments. It's my world also and I'm staking more of a claim to it.

I define Butch. Masculine and feminine. I take what I want from both and add a few ingredients to define me. As I grow into myself, I may or may not adjust the recipe.

[AtLast]

BUMP!

[DomnNC]

I don't know how many of you get the Logo tv station which is a GLBT station. Here is a link to a story on Robert Eads, a transgender male, and his struggle with ovarian cancer and not being able to get quality healthcare. He lives in a small town in rural Georgia. It's a powerful story. This link is for the full length story. There are some other amazing transgender stories at this website as well.

http://www.logotv.com/video/southern...playlist.jhtml

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by DomnNC

I don't know how many of you get the Logo tv station which is a GLBT station. Here is a link to a story on Robert Eads, a transgender male, and his struggle with ovarian cancer and not being able to get quality healthcare. He lives in a small town in rural Georgia. It's a powerful story. This link is for the full length story. There are some other amazing transgender stories at this website as well.

http://www.logotv.com/video/southern...playlist.jhtml

Yes, it is a very powerful story. I'm glad you posted it up.

[friskyfemme]

Hi,
I just wanted to share with you a terrific documentary called 'Two Spirits'. If you're interested go to: twospirits.org

I was particularly drawn to this because I lived on the Navajo Reservation for awhile.

I invite you to invite others to see the film and open discussions.