For those for whom Mother's Day is not a Good Day

Lady_Wu · 06-17-2010, 03:53 PM

My mother died in Katrina. Before that, however, she had cut me completely out of the family after my father died. I am still not sure why. Not the queer thing-she herself was bi-sexual. Wasn't that I didn't keep in tough-I wrote and tried to call -(she refused to speak to me) and sent thoughtful presents on holidays. Both she and my brother told me that I was no longer to call, write, or send presents. No contact-zip!
Now I have a wonderful woman who also thinks I am wonderful for a mother. The mother of one of my husbands, she adopted me into the family early on. As she is the matriarch, her word is law. So I am a member of the family just as if I had been born into it. If J dies before me, Michael is supposed to take care of me just as he would J. Having a mother who loves me and treats me like this makes up for a large part of the damage dome by my biological mother!
Lady_Wu

lipstixgal · 06-17-2010, 04:28 PM

I too have no mother any longer she died 4 years ago. Its hard because I live in her house and even though I didn't live with her I visited often. So yeah Mother's day and her birthday are hard for me. I think of her often....

Andrew, Jr. · 04-29-2011, 03:58 PM

It is coming back around next week. Just a heads up.

Peace,
Andrew

Ms. Meander · 04-29-2011, 04:20 PM

I was just having a little cry over something inconsequential (okay, a BIG cry) and I was searching deep for the true reason. I had cause today, to recount years of traumatic experience to a stranger - of which, my mother was a part. Then I realized that it is almost Mother's Day.

Although I have a living mother and a breathing (grown) son (who rarely speaks to me), I feel like a motherless child and a childless mother. As much as I try to ignore this holiday, and all others for that matter, I can't help but feel the loss and exclusion.

In an effort to distract myself, I signed into BFP only to find this thread. Perhaps I really just needed to share. So thank you for the space to do so.

06-17-2010, 03:53 PM	#1
Lady_Wu Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Queer Stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: M'Lady Relationship Status: given up looking sigh Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: somewhere buried under a pile of books Posts: 197 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 285 Thanked 300 Times in 105 Posts Rep Power: 155956	Re: no mother and a mother My mother died in Katrina. Before that, however, she had cut me completely out of the family after my father died. I am still not sure why. Not the queer thing-she herself was bi-sexual. Wasn't that I didn't keep in tough-I wrote and tried to call -(she refused to speak to me) and sent thoughtful presents on holidays. Both she and my brother told me that I was no longer to call, write, or send presents. No contact-zip! Now I have a wonderful woman who also thinks I am wonderful for a mother. The mother of one of my husbands, she adopted me into the family early on. As she is the matriarch, her word is law. So I am a member of the family just as if I had been born into it. If J dies before me, Michael is supposed to take care of me just as he would J. Having a mother who loves me and treats me like this makes up for a large part of the damage dome by my biological mother! Lady_Wu __________________ I'm the Yin in the Yang and the Yang in the Yin.

04-29-2011, 03:58 PM	#3
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	May 8th, 2011 It is coming back around next week. Just a heads up. Peace, Andrew

04-29-2011, 04:20 PM	#4
Ms. Meander Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Relationship Status: Ethical Nonmonogamist Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: The Mountains Posts: 1,520 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,706 Thanked 5,211 Times in 1,147 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Motherless child/childless mother. I was just having a little cry over something inconsequential (okay, a BIG cry) and I was searching deep for the true reason. I had cause today, to recount years of traumatic experience to a stranger - of which, my mother was a part. Then I realized that it is almost Mother's Day. Although I have a living mother and a breathing (grown) son (who rarely speaks to me), I feel like a motherless child and a childless mother. As much as I try to ignore this holiday, and all others for that matter, I can't help but feel the loss and exclusion. In an effort to distract myself, I signed into BFP only to find this thread. Perhaps I really just needed to share. So thank you for the space to do so. __________________ My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart. - Maya Angelou

06-17-2010, 04:28 PM	#2
lipstixgal Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: coupled Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 201 Thanked 1,690 Times in 1,064 Posts Rep Power: 1494761	I too have no mother any longer she died 4 years ago. Its hard because I live in her house and even though I didn't live with her I visited often. So yeah Mother's day and her birthday are hard for me. I think of her often....