Open Letter: Dear Femme

little man · 11-28-2009, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Perhaps that is why I am constantly in the naughty chair for not knowing my (inferred) place?

or, perhaps you enjoy the "punishment"?

SuperFemme · 11-28-2009, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little man

or, perhaps you enjoy the "punishment"?

Ha! Perhaps at times I do. Other times I get incredibly frustrated when my non-demur/polite mouth results in anger from others. I make it a point to take care of me and speak my needs (not rudely or aggressively) and at times have felt frowned upon for this.

little man · 11-28-2009, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Ha! Perhaps at times I do. Other times I get incredibly frustrated when my non-demur/polite mouth results in anger from others. I make it a point to take care of me and speak my needs (not rudely or aggressively) and at times have felt frowned upon for this.

not surprisingly, people tend to balk at change. especially change that challenges or cuts into their perception of "how things work". i do believe that anger is fear channeled outwardly.

no one wants to give up power...especially those who have long (and perhaps not so wisely) wielded it. rather than see the benefit to all that can be had by spreading the power (and responsibility) along a broad line, they grow fearful that their little stash of power will be diminished, thereby diminishing themselves and their perceived position in the world.

i honestly believe that if the male/masculine people on this planet took a step back and looked at where their power lies, and who supports them through things....they'd understand that the feminine should be exalted for the strong beings and forces they are. rather than give credit where credit is due, it's hidden or usurped with the growth in power going to the usurper.

i'm not sure i'm making sense.

Ryobi · 11-28-2009, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little man

i honestly believe that if the male/masculine people on this planet took a step back and looked at where their power lies, and who supports them through things....they'd understand that the feminine should be exalted for the strong beings and forces they are. rather than give credit where credit is due, it's hidden or usurped with the growth in power going to the usurper.

i'm not sure i'm making sense.

This sounds to me like a Native American belief. It's one of many beautiful Native beliefs that have been forgotten. Or should I really say, silenced.
I agree with you, little man.

TeaPartyTart · 11-28-2009, 04:00 PM

E,
Thank you for igniting thought and discussion here. I read this post on different site and I'm not surprised at the lack of response 'there'. In fact, the example of you creating an opportunity for literally the same voices to share their thoughts on this topic highlights the undertow of aggression some spaces have created.

So yes, I have an opinion on this topic, and yes, I choose to share it 'here'.

I've changed over the past 10 or so years I've identified as Femme. I used to believe it was all about my power and in hindsight my power looked more like King Kong stomping on legitimate thoughts, opinions and questions of those that may have differed from mine. My power was to 'squash' not only the opinion, but to take a deeper stance and make a stronger impact on the person to ensure they didn't continue to hold opinions that aligned with the ones they shared. How dare they think for themselves? The nerve.

How have I changed? I no longer feel I need to exude power to get my point across or, in many cases, feel I need to share any thought at all. To me, this is not me 'rolling over' to a masculine opinion. I'm no longer in it to have a winner or a loser. Instead, I choose to focus on my strength.

For me, my Femme strength is about focusing on how to get to what I truly want and believe in without hurting people or countering opinions along the way. I feel I am at my best when I can keep my head high and walk through the proverbial shit storm of words. And while I love and appreciate discussion, I ---wait for it---feel there are some who don't deserve to hear my words. These are preditory individuals (male, female, etc.) who will never get who I am or what I stand for.

Regarding the pink font: Fucking hate it. I hate the constant juvenile look and immature nature of the content. To me, the perception is just too ridiculous to take the person seriously, regardless of the situation; Regardless how 'deep' the person is.

I'm sure the previous paragraph contradicts what I just shared but I think you brainiacs can handle it.

Peace,
TPT

atomiczombie · 11-28-2009, 04:55 PM

I am always very glad to get the opportunity to learn more about femmes, how they think and feel about being a femme, and how they think and feel about us masculine gents. Reading this thread has been educational to me, and I very much appreciate all you ladies have shared. Thank you!

Diva · 11-28-2009, 05:14 PM

I never felt more invisible or silenced than I felt around my father, whose favorite word for me was "Shhhh!". That's probably a whole 'nother' thread.....

And then I never felt more liberated than (1) when I came out (after 15 years of marriage to the father of my beautiful daughters) and (2) when my father died. (I know that sounds horrible.)

I found my voice and my 'sea legs' when those 2 things happened. The power was in me all along, I see that now. But I just needed a kick in the seat of the pants for the jumpstart.

My strength comes from within and from my "song"....which plays constantly throughout my brain. I got most of the lyrics from my Mom....and other strong women in my life.

(PS.....I hope the purple font isn't offensive.... )

11-28-2009, 04:55 PM	#6
atomiczombie Member How Do You Identify?: Femmesensual Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Relationship Status: Dating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rio Vista, CA Posts: 1,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,949 Thanked 3,221 Times in 759 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I am always very glad to get the opportunity to learn more about femmes, how they think and feel about being a femme, and how they think and feel about us masculine gents. Reading this thread has been educational to me, and I very much appreciate all you ladies have shared. Thank you! __________________ http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/k...orums_2000.gif Russian Unicorn http://occupiedmedia.us/

11-28-2009, 04:00 PM	#5
TeaPartyTart Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: I think "cupcake" has a nice ring to it Relationship Status: shackin' up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chicago Posts: 65 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13 Thanked 40 Times in 20 Posts Rep Power: 185	E, Thank you for igniting thought and discussion here. I read this post on different site and I'm not surprised at the lack of response 'there'. In fact, the example of you creating an opportunity for literally the same voices to share their thoughts on this topic highlights the undertow of aggression some spaces have created. So yes, I have an opinion on this topic, and yes, I choose to share it 'here'. I've changed over the past 10 or so years I've identified as Femme. I used to believe it was all about my power and in hindsight my power looked more like King Kong stomping on legitimate thoughts, opinions and questions of those that may have differed from mine. My power was to 'squash' not only the opinion, but to take a deeper stance and make a stronger impact on the person to ensure they didn't continue to hold opinions that aligned with the ones they shared. How dare they think for themselves? The nerve. How have I changed? I no longer feel I need to exude power to get my point across or, in many cases, feel I need to share any thought at all. To me, this is not me 'rolling over' to a masculine opinion. I'm no longer in it to have a winner or a loser. Instead, I choose to focus on my strength. For me, my Femme strength is about focusing on how to get to what I truly want and believe in without hurting people or countering opinions along the way. I feel I am at my best when I can keep my head high and walk through the proverbial shit storm of words. And while I love and appreciate discussion, I ---wait for it---feel there are some who don't deserve to hear my words. These are preditory individuals (male, female, etc.) who will never get who I am or what I stand for. Regarding the pink font: Fucking hate it. I hate the constant juvenile look and immature nature of the content. To me, the perception is just too ridiculous to take the person seriously, regardless of the situation; Regardless how 'deep' the person is. I'm sure the previous paragraph contradicts what I just shared but I think you brainiacs can handle it. Peace, TPT

11-28-2009, 05:14 PM	#7
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	I never felt more invisible or silenced than I felt around my father, whose favorite word for me was "Shhhh!". That's probably a whole 'nother' thread..... And then I never felt more liberated than (1) when I came out (after 15 years of marriage to the father of my beautiful daughters) and (2) when my father died. (I know that sounds horrible.) I found my voice and my 'sea legs' when those 2 things happened. The power was in me all along, I see that now. But I just needed a kick in the seat of the pants for the jumpstart. My strength comes from within and from my "song"....which plays constantly throughout my brain. I got most of the lyrics from my Mom....and other strong women in my life. (PS.....I hope the purple font isn't offensive.... )