The Purse: Unpacking Femme Privilege

[Medusa]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Strutt

I'm not sure where I fit into this thread either.

I grew up in a family of extreme white privilege--financially, educationally, just about in all ways you can think of. My family also never cared I was gay, I am close to my siblings and my parents are still happily married after 48 years. I don't know a lot about hardship or what it is like to live life without any safety nets.

My background, however, has made me shy away from talking about how I grew up. Mention the word "privilege" and I tend to cringe. Through the years, I've been judged fairly harshly on occasion for having a privileged life, so I hide my upbringing or any indication I might have privileges not enjoyed by others as a result.

My femme privilege is not something I dwell on for those reasons. Maybe someday I will be able to think about privilege--any kind of privilege--without negative energy attached to the thoughts.

I get this, Mrs. Strutt!

It's hard for me to hear "Oh, that's just your privilege" talking when I feel like it's something I didn't have control over.
Being white, a Femme, cisgendered, and the other myriad ways that there are privileges (situational and static) in my way of being feels negative sometimes.
I dont *want* to be told Im privileged for being white or cisgendered when I have a background that includes various class/size/ability struggles. It feels like all of my hardship gets negated by merely being white/cisgendered/Femme in B-F space/etc.
I do know on a core level that I have privileges even if I don't exert them in ugly ways or even if Im hyper aware of them. They're there. Sometimes I can see them, sometimes other people have to see them for me.

I can understand shying away from talking about how you grew up - especially if there is immediate judgment attached to you by other people when you talk about it.