Class, Privilege, and Social Markers

Apocalipstic · 06-28-2010, 03:03 PM

Congratulations on the promotion Medusa and on this very interesting thread.

I grew up in a weird situation in which my parents grew up poor due to the Depression but ended up being very well educated and in the clergy. My father had his PHD in Classical Greek and my mother was an English teacher and Principal until "God called them" to be Missionaries. As a missionary everything is paid for and in Argentina of the 60's and 70's US dollars went a long way. All types of church members entertained us from people with dirt floors to people with private helicopters and mansions. I feel pretty comfortable in any setting. My parents did not make much money, but everything including our schooling, insurance, home, car, utilities, vacation etc was paid for, so I grew up with zero idea of the value of money.

In college I worked and since school was paid for I always had money to blow. After college came the realization that I had no idea about money and my parents plan to marry me off to a preacher to take care of me was not gonna happen....and I majored in theater.

I ended up very poor, and in some terrible situations. (I also am quite creative with Ramen noodles!) I charged up cards and was a financial disaster. Since then, I have worked in Grocery stores, ski lifts, hotel management, kitchens, sports catering and now for a production company.

My G/F Cynthia's family has always had a good income. She was until recently a 3rd generation General Motors blue collar worker, making 3 times as much as I or my parents have ever made.

Now I have a good job and she is in school. I do have to have a stash of food and money and it makes me sick to my stomach to owe any money. All we owe is the house. We renovate little bits as we can pay cash. I will not finance anything but medical stuff. I have nightmares of collections people calling me if I owe anything.

I have no idea what class I am, nor do I really care. But it burns my ass up when people act better than others based on what they do for a living, or what class they are perceived to be. It makes me feel sick when I see it.

If someone cleans your House, it is because they are a cleaning professional and enjoy working alone, not because they are not as good as you are. *rant*

We have decided we like to travel rather than have a fancy big house, and live in Nashville because the cost of living is great.
Great great subject Medusa, I look forward to the discussion!

Gayla · 06-28-2010, 04:11 PM

This has always been a hard thing for me.

My family is very blue collar. My mother and I lived with my grandparents after she and my father divorced when I was very young. My mother worked at a bank. My grandfather was a finish carpenter and my grandmother was a seamstress, doing alterations at, what I always thought, was, a fancy clothing store in downtown Austin. My Grandma and my Mom made all my clothes and taught me to sew. Grandpa bought me honey buns off the roach coach and left them on the dashboard of his truck so they were warm and gooey when he brought them home for me after work. He taught me to fish out of stock tanks and how to correctly run a plane over a piece of wood. We lived in a rural area. Ate something from the garden for supper every night. I rode my bike through fields, down long country roads, played in the creek with my friends and had no idea that money was anything more then the quarter Grandpa would give me on the weekends so I could go across the street and get a Big Red soda water from the Creedmoor store. I also had no idea that everyone in the world didn't live this way because in my, very limited, world, they all did.

Then my mother remarried. The man that I refer to as my father, built houses for a living. We moved around quite a bit until he decided to go into business for himself. He was very good at it. We lived in an upper class area of a mid sized border town. My last name was plastered on billboards all over town. We had "live in help". My first car was a classic. We vacationed out of the country. We had a "cabin" in the mountains. I went to the right schools. Etc, etc, ect.

At the very core, I am privilege. It affects everything I say, think and do. I carry a huge amount of shame for having grown up with money because it's been often seen as "bad" in my community. I've had to fight my own -ism's and be even extra vigilant about how they influence the things I do.

I know that here, on the planet, there are threads I avoid and discussions I side step because I honestly don't know if I'm capable of participating without letting my privilege show. I'd like to think that the work I've done over the last 25+ years has left me in a position that I can but I think I will always question it and fight against it and will never truly know.

06-28-2010, 03:03 PM	#1
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Congratulations on the promotion Medusa and on this very interesting thread. I grew up in a weird situation in which my parents grew up poor due to the Depression but ended up being very well educated and in the clergy. My father had his PHD in Classical Greek and my mother was an English teacher and Principal until "God called them" to be Missionaries. As a missionary everything is paid for and in Argentina of the 60's and 70's US dollars went a long way. All types of church members entertained us from people with dirt floors to people with private helicopters and mansions. I feel pretty comfortable in any setting. My parents did not make much money, but everything including our schooling, insurance, home, car, utilities, vacation etc was paid for, so I grew up with zero idea of the value of money. In college I worked and since school was paid for I always had money to blow. After college came the realization that I had no idea about money and my parents plan to marry me off to a preacher to take care of me was not gonna happen....and I majored in theater. I ended up very poor, and in some terrible situations. (I also am quite creative with Ramen noodles!) I charged up cards and was a financial disaster. Since then, I have worked in Grocery stores, ski lifts, hotel management, kitchens, sports catering and now for a production company. My G/F Cynthia's family has always had a good income. She was until recently a 3rd generation General Motors blue collar worker, making 3 times as much as I or my parents have ever made. Now I have a good job and she is in school. I do have to have a stash of food and money and it makes me sick to my stomach to owe any money. All we owe is the house. We renovate little bits as we can pay cash. I will not finance anything but medical stuff. I have nightmares of collections people calling me if I owe anything. I have no idea what class I am, nor do I really care. But it burns my ass up when people act better than others based on what they do for a living, or what class they are perceived to be. It makes me feel sick when I see it. If someone cleans your House, it is because they are a cleaning professional and enjoy working alone, not because they are not as good as you are. rant We have decided we like to travel rather than have a fancy big house, and live in Nashville because the cost of living is great. Great great subject Medusa, I look forward to the discussion! __________________

06-28-2010, 04:11 PM	#2
Gayla Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kinky Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: I'm not picky Relationship Status: She makes me dance like a fool and forget how to breathe. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: SF CA Posts: 3,229 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 877 Thanked 7,077 Times in 1,966 Posts Rep Power: 0	This has always been a hard thing for me. My family is very blue collar. My mother and I lived with my grandparents after she and my father divorced when I was very young. My mother worked at a bank. My grandfather was a finish carpenter and my grandmother was a seamstress, doing alterations at, what I always thought, was, a fancy clothing store in downtown Austin. My Grandma and my Mom made all my clothes and taught me to sew. Grandpa bought me honey buns off the roach coach and left them on the dashboard of his truck so they were warm and gooey when he brought them home for me after work. He taught me to fish out of stock tanks and how to correctly run a plane over a piece of wood. We lived in a rural area. Ate something from the garden for supper every night. I rode my bike through fields, down long country roads, played in the creek with my friends and had no idea that money was anything more then the quarter Grandpa would give me on the weekends so I could go across the street and get a Big Red soda water from the Creedmoor store. I also had no idea that everyone in the world didn't live this way because in my, very limited, world, they all did. Then my mother remarried. The man that I refer to as my father, built houses for a living. We moved around quite a bit until he decided to go into business for himself. He was very good at it. We lived in an upper class area of a mid sized border town. My last name was plastered on billboards all over town. We had "live in help". My first car was a classic. We vacationed out of the country. We had a "cabin" in the mountains. I went to the right schools. Etc, etc, ect. At the very core, I am privilege. It affects everything I say, think and do. I carry a huge amount of shame for having grown up with money because it's been often seen as "bad" in my community. I've had to fight my own -ism's and be even extra vigilant about how they influence the things I do. I know that here, on the planet, there are threads I avoid and discussions I side step because I honestly don't know if I'm capable of participating without letting my privilege show. I'd like to think that the work I've done over the last 25+ years has left me in a position that I can but I think I will always question it and fight against it and will never truly know.