I'd Like to Claim I was Drunk: Pick Up Lines Destined to Fail

Apocalipstic · 07-02-2010, 10:59 AM

Another line I have heard more than once is....

"Baybah, you just havent found tha raaiight Mayn"

My go to answer is...

"and let me guess, YOU are the chosen one"

Apocalipstic · 07-02-2010, 11:02 AM

It never works when I used my Slingblade voice to try to hit on my G/F.

Seems sexy to me.

Dylan · 07-02-2010, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

It never works when I used my Slingblade voice to try to hit on my G/F.

Seems sexy to me.

I like them friiiiied taters

Dylan...I've tried it with Mahhh Woman too, and she's not amused (to say the least)

SuperFemme · 07-02-2010, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Another line I have heard more than once is....

"Baybah, you just havent found tha raaiight Mayn"

My go to answer is...

"and let me guess, YOU are the chosen one"

god if i had a nickel.....

my go to answer?

you're not woman enough to be my man.

Medusa · 07-02-2010, 11:16 AM

I totally forgot about this one:

" 'Medusa' huh? I can be your Perseus!!"

(Yeah, cause every woman wants to have her head cut off and used to kill a sea creature)

*Magic_and_Silk* · 07-02-2010, 11:25 AM

One of the WORST I have ever heard...

I was 18..He was around the same age..

He says.."I'd like to kiss you. But, I am afraid I might suffer by comparison."

This line is from the movie 'Footloose'....I almost puked. I wasn't even amused. Especially since the guy had just gone to that movie a couple of days before with me and my little sister...and he was HER DATE!

apretty · 07-02-2010, 11:59 AM

another one, not tried on me as much as the entire bar:

the lights are going up, the music has been turned off and people are filing out, one young (and possibly not sober) butch yells:

WHO'S SINGLE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dunno if it worked but she got a lot of laughs.

Bob · 07-02-2010, 12:03 PM

Over at the driving range, there's a bunch of old coots who hang out and gossip and drink.

One day I happened to be nearby, idly chitchatting, and this well-preserved-by-scotch octogenarian looked me over, smiled, and said, "You look like you'd make a good farmer's wife!"

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Because you look like you know how to operate heavy machinery AND birth some healthy babies!"

And he grinned at me with a twinkle in his cataract-clouded eye, like he'd just paid me the biggest compliment he knew how to give. Which it probably was.

Strappie · 07-02-2010, 12:31 PM

Referring to a Sleep Number .....

Whats your number? Mines 69 should we see what yours is?

PinkieLee · 07-02-2010, 12:31 PM

A vivid memory popped back into my mind that had been hidden for a couple years....

My ex and I were at a hole in the wall pool hall. We were up at the bar ordering a beer, when the cuestick that was leaning up against the bar beside me fell over.

I reached over to pick it up and hand it to the guy in the bbq stained tshirt standing next to me, and he said, "Oh darlin, if it was MY stick that hit you, you would have thanked me".

Scorp · 07-02-2010, 12:33 PM

Lord, what a loser...Those are the fools that probably have a dick the size of a gherkin....

And, what did you say back to him after he said that???

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkieLee

A vivid memory popped back into my mind that had been hidden for a couple years....

My ex and I were at a hole in the wall pool hall. We were up at the bar ordering a beer, when the cuestick that was leaning up against the bar beside me fell over.

I reached over to pick it up and hand it to the guy in the bbq stained tshirt standing next to me, and he said, "Oh darlin, if it was MY stick that hit you, you would have thanked me".

Strappie · 07-02-2010, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkieLee

A vivid memory popped back into my mind that had been hidden for a couple years....

My ex and I were at a hole in the wall pool hall. We were up at the bar ordering a beer, when the cuestick that was leaning up against the bar beside me fell over.

I reached over to pick it up and hand it to the guy in the bbq stained tshirt standing next to me, and he said, "Oh darlin, if it was MY stick that hit you, you would have thanked me".

If that was me saying that to you.. I would have at least said... "if that was my stick that hit you, You would have been begging for more!" lol

07-02-2010, 10:59 AM	#1
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,360 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Another line I have heard more than once is.... "Baybah, you just havent found tha raaiight Mayn" My go to answer is... "and let me guess, YOU are the chosen one" __________________

07-02-2010, 11:02 AM	#2
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,360 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	It never works when I used my Slingblade voice to try to hit on my G/F. Seems sexy to me. __________________

07-02-2010, 11:16 AM	#5
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,677 Times in 7,831 Posts Rep Power: 10000026	I totally forgot about this one: " 'Medusa' huh? I can be your Perseus!!" (Yeah, cause every woman wants to have her head cut off and used to kill a sea creature) __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

07-02-2010, 11:25 AM	#6
Magic_and_Silk Member How Do You Identify?: femme with a fetish for beautiful dresses. Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, Miss, girl, Red... Relationship Status: single Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Show Low, AZ Posts: 229 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 118 Thanked 242 Times in 115 Posts Rep Power: 316	One of the WORST I have ever heard... I was 18..He was around the same age.. He says.."I'd like to kiss you. But, I am afraid I might suffer by comparison." This line is from the movie 'Footloose'....I almost puked. I wasn't even amused. Especially since the guy had just gone to that movie a couple of days before with me and my little sister...and he was HER DATE! __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My joy in life comes from the Journey.

07-02-2010, 11:59 AM	#7
apretty Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: sea shell Relationship Status: married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: san diego Posts: 1,687 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,927 Thanked 4,373 Times in 1,012 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	another one, not tried on me as much as the entire bar: the lights are going up, the music has been turned off and people are filing out, one young (and possibly not sober) butch yells: *WHO'S SINGLE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* dunno if it worked but she got a lot of laughs.

07-02-2010, 12:03 PM	#8
Bob Member How Do You Identify?: Jackass. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In your mom. Posts: 144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15 Thanked 288 Times in 92 Posts Rep Power: 29243	Over at the driving range, there's a bunch of old coots who hang out and gossip and drink. One day I happened to be nearby, idly chitchatting, and this well-preserved-by-scotch octogenarian looked me over, smiled, and said, "You look like you'd make a good farmer's wife!" "Why's that?" I asked. "Because you look like you know how to operate heavy machinery AND birth some healthy babies!" And he grinned at me with a twinkle in his cataract-clouded eye, like he'd just paid me the biggest compliment he knew how to give. Which it probably was.

07-02-2010, 12:31 PM	#9
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,945 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Referring to a Sleep Number ..... Whats your number? Mines 69 should we see what yours is?

07-02-2010, 12:31 PM	#10
PinkieLee Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: I need ya boo, gotta see ya boo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Big Money Texas Posts: 4,708 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,309 Thanked 13,073 Times in 3,047 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	A vivid memory popped back into my mind that had been hidden for a couple years.... My ex and I were at a hole in the wall pool hall. We were up at the bar ordering a beer, when the cuestick that was leaning up against the bar beside me fell over. I reached over to pick it up and hand it to the guy in the bbq stained tshirt standing next to me, and he said, "Oh darlin, if it was MY stick that hit you, you would have thanked me".