Disabilities: Visable and Invisable

[chefhottie25]

Originally Posted by Lady_Wu

That's a difficult disability with which to live. Both the the disability AND the meds used to control it can cause problems. If you don't mind me asking, what meds are you on? I suffer from major depression, PTSD, and GAD. I'm on Abilify, Cymbalta, and Klonopin to control those. Sometimes in the past the combination of all three, esp. the depression and the PTSD, have gotten so bad that I've had hallucinations. Not fun. The psychdocs tried me on a number of atypical antipsychotics. I hated them. The only one I stayed on for any length of time was Seroquel. I finally got them more or less under control through Taoism and Tibetan Buddhism. I still get "anguish attacks" every now and then. Those are like panic attacks but instead of anxiety, I get an acute attack of concentrated depression. It literally feels like someone's stabbing me in the heart. I can't predict them but when one hits, I just double over from the psychic pain. Now when one happens, I immediately do a sitting of meditation. I've only found one other person who experiences these. He was my paindoc for for several years! Basically, all I can do is wait them out, usually through meditation.
The GAD has gotten so bad that I could not handle a regular college atmosphere, even if I could do it physically (no chance). Too many people doing too much at the same time time. I tried going back to school one summer and could do that. The classes were small and not too many people were on campus at one time. Then the fall semester hit me. No way. If I could find a school with small classes and a laid back attitude, plus accomodations for physical disabilities, maybe I could go back. But I'm not looking to do so at the moment. I've got enough on my hands as it is!
Good luck, chef. I think you're doing an admirable job! Please return to this thread for support and general talk. I know Andrew's here for you. Count me as here for you,also. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me!
Lady_Wu

Thank you Lady Wu for your support. I have been through a lot of med changes...but this combination I am on now seems to be the best. I take 80mg of geodon twice a day, 75mg effexor, 2mg artane, and 10mg of ambien to sleep. I have been on this cocktail for almost a year, with a few minimal episodes. I too have turned to taoism and buddhism to manage and find inner peace. I also meditate daily. I am still learning how to live with this disorder and being clean and sober. I hope that my new life will feel comfortable soon.