My Butch Left Me After 6 Years...Devistated

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by adorable

Ahhh...I have been there. It SEEMED to happen over night, but the pot was boiling long before it overflowed.

It was when I first heard the diagnosis, bipolar and then schitzoeffective, then psychotic...that everything made SOME more sense. It took months just to wrap my mind around the fact that she was seriously mentally ill. She didn't always act it, she went to work everyday and worked her ass off. For five years we lived our life, rarely ever fought - then one day - mania took over completely. It was the begining of one of the worst periods of my life. Missing money was the least of it....

NOW I see it clearly when it happens. I didn't see it before because I had been too busy cleaning up messes and laughing that she was irresponsible. She wasn't irresponsible, she was sick. She needed medication. Bipolar is progressive, it gets worse if left untreated. It got worse. Much worse.

Mania causes seemingly rational people to do irrational things. The anger and hostility comes out of nowhere and they believe in their heart that YOU are the reason they are unhappy. That then gives a license for all kinds of things and there are serious issues with impulse control. Suddenly they can do whatever they want. Problem is, it only makes sense to THEM.

I have no idea if this is what she is doing. I only know it sounds very similar to what my ex did. Start reading as much as you can about Bipolar symptoms and see if any of it fits. Either way you can't save someone from themselves. If it were possible, there would be a lot of saved people out there - it's a past time of mine. Plenty of people live just fine that have bipolar. Medication, hardwork and therapy are what is needed to learn to live with it - my ex was having none of that....which is why she is my ex. Seven psychiatrists, all with the same diagnoses and thousands of dollars later - she just couldn't do it. She is taking responsibility now and going to therapy. It's too late for me personally now, but I am happy for her.

I am 100% sure though that she will be back. They always come back. Usually when you have everything settled, figured out and are happy again. Up exes pop like evil, destructive, ground hogs. They look all cute and fuzzy. Then BLAM! Bite you right in the ankle!!

I have learned that if someone is dumb enough to walk away, I need to be smart enough to let them go. I have never needed anyone, there was never anyone to rely on...I was it. I am still it. I will forever be it. I am stronger then I have ever given myself credit for - other people only have the power over me that I give them. I can chose to give that power to them or not. If I give it, and it's proven to me that level of trust was misplaced, I can take it back. Whether it's after 6 months, 9 years or a week. Never give someone a second chance to show you who they really are.

I agree with a lot of this, but sometimes exes can be amazing friends years later after they work their stuff out. For me, evil and disruptive sounds strong, but our experiences sound pretty different. Sorry you went through what you did!

There are so many different scenarios which could explain the behavior of OP's ex.