The Mythical *Pass* for Differently-Abled People

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by urs

Oh yeah, I meant to say something about this because it keeps getting buried in other concepts (which are also really important, but what you said above is specifically what this thread is about).

I totally agree - I know I said in my first post that I give everybody passes, DA or not, but having thought about it - under that definition, they aren't passes.

While we seem to be talking all around the subject, but not specifically addressing it, I actually think that most of us are in agreement that being differently abled should not entitle anyone to a pass - i.e. being DA shouldn't absolve them from taking responsibility for their own behaviour (but only according to each person's capacity).

I think the crux of the issue is that there is a whole bunch of societal baggage that informs people what an appropriate response to DA ought to be.

A lot of it is well meaning, but in the end there is a huge grey area between giving a person compassion and understanding because of X, and not holding a person accountable because of X, and where A will see one, B sees the other.. . and it's not always clear-cut who is right.

I believe that this is where the conversation is falling down.

Thank you so much for this post. You completely understand what I wanted this thread to be about, and while it has been important to look at all views I worry that the intent has gotten lost.

So I am glad to see that it has not.

I in no way meant to imply that the level of empathy, compassion, and understanding that we treat others with should fall by the wayside. I am in no way saying that the moderators and admins do not give individual consideration on a case by case basis. That means that when there is any kind of issue involving a DA'd person they are going to go above and beyond to be aware of the issues specific to that DA'd person.

I think we all have personal attachments to this, and the lenses we are viewing it through are multiple.

I not only get that, I totally respect it.

I also want people to be aware that The Planet is committed to this community being accessible to differently abled people. That commitment includes going an extra mile (or ten) when dealing with issues that might come up. It means that behind the scenes, there are usually several attempts at solutions until the right one fits.

I understand that it this is a new and different thing within an online b/f community, and I would hope that people are able to have faith in what The Planet is all about, and have faith that doors aren't going to be slammed in your face here because you are differently abled and have a unique way of communicating.

I'd also like to stress that if you contact myself or the mods/admins and need help that it is confidential (outside of the aforementioned). If you are differently abled but choose to be private about it to the community at large, please know that if you choose to share that (say you need assistance or whatever) your information will always remain private.

[Leigh]

I want to thank everyone who has posted here so far, your insight and thoughts have really resonated with Me. I have been on disability for two years now (going on three), for both depression and panic/anxiety attacks. I am the first to admit that I used to expect passes to be given to Me, whether it was for something I said or something I did it was just what I expected. I would often blame being lazy, missing school/work etc on My depression and it just got to the point where if I did or said anything wrong My usual response was that is was My depression acting up.

Even within the last few months I admit that I still looked for people around Me to automatically hand Me a pass, simply because I had gotten used to it. I'm not proud of this, by any means, and am trying My hardest to change because there is no reason to get this so-called "pass". I'm a grown person with no excuse to sail through life expecting that its not only going to be easy, but that I can use being depressed as a cover-up for not taking responsibility for My own actions. Sometimes it takes a thread like this to make a person think about what they are doing in their own lives, and that is what it has done for Me.

I take reading this thread as being that proverbial *kick in the ASS* to get Me to see that things in My life need to change. So thank you to SF and everyone else who contributes to this thread, it takes brave people like all of you to bring such a sensitive subject to the table and share experiences that may not be happy ones but they are beneficial to the discussion ~ keep up the great work everyone

[Soft*Silver]

God, I love watching evolution of the soul !!! You go, Braedon!!!