Differently Abled (fly your freak flag high)

SuperFemme · 07-19-2010, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corkey

I'm having some issues these last few days, took some meds to try to sleep and now my mind is giving me fits. I can't sleep, but when I do I can't wake up...fibro fog for sure, but damnitalltohell it's 6PM and I want to be awake. Ugh

sleeping has been an issue for me since my accident. i can usually get in a few hours at a time...

so my doctor gave me some sleeping aids. the first one? ambien? i totally freaked out, and my kids had to call cal over for help. i was apparently being ridiculous. know what? i do not remember a thing. needless to say, those meds went in the trash. next it was lunesta. same thing. trash.

i gave up on meds for a while, scared of having these "fugue" states where i act like a nut and everyone remembers it but me.

recently, in the hospital they gave me trazedone. which basically equates to a large dose of benadryl. it works, but i find it so hard to wake up...and my head is super foggy. so i only use when i am breaking down due to exhaustion. the rest of the time i take herbal sleep aids.

so yes. i feel for you corkey and can so relate.

here is some info on herbal/natural sleep remedies.

Nutritional supplements: 5-HTP, Melatonin
Best herbal remedies: Valerian, Corydalis, Lavender
Other remedies: Chamomile, Passion Flower and hops
Also look at: homeopathic remedies, they are safe also for children
Dr Deepak Choprasuggests the following Ayurvedic remedies:
a cup of warm milk with two strands of saffron or some grated nutmeg

dixie · 07-20-2010, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

sleeping has been an issue for me since my accident. i can usually get in a few hours at a time...

so my doctor gave me some sleeping aids. the first one? ambien? i totally freaked out, and my kids had to call cal over for help. i was apparently being ridiculous. know what? i do not remember a thing. needless to say, those meds went in the trash. next it was lunesta. same thing. trash.

i gave up on meds for a while, scared of having these "fugue" states where i act like a nut and everyone remembers it but me.

recently, in the hospital they gave me trazedone. which basically equates to a large dose of benadryl. it works, but i find it so hard to wake up...and my head is super foggy. so i only use when i am breaking down due to exhaustion. the rest of the time i take herbal sleep aids.

so yes. i feel for you corkey and can so relate.

here is some info on herbal/natural sleep remedies.

Nutritional supplements: 5-HTP, Melatonin
Best herbal remedies: Valerian, Corydalis, Lavender
Other remedies: Chamomile, Passion Flower and hops
Also look at: homeopathic remedies, they are safe also for children
Dr Deepak Choprasuggests the following Ayurvedic remedies:
a cup of warm milk with two strands of saffron or some grated nutmeg

I so couldn't pass up the Ambien thing. My docs tried that out on me also. After 3 seperate incidents including: (1)waking up nekkid in the front lawn at 3am, (2)waking up nekkid behind the wheel of my car (luckily still in my driveway), and (3)waking up screaming from nightterrors and attacking the person trying to wake me...I have vowed to never touch that stuff again...ugh...

SuperFemme · 07-20-2010, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dixielady

I so couldn't pass up the Ambien thing. My docs tried that out on me also. After 3 seperate incidents including: (1)waking up nekkid in the front lawn at 3am, (2)waking up nekkid behind the wheel of my car (luckily still in my driveway), and (3)waking up screaming from nightterrors and attacking the person trying to wake me...I have vowed to never touch that stuff again...ugh...

yikes. what is amazing to me? is that it is still being prescribed. at all. with sleep eating/sleep driving alone? it is clearly too risky and dangerous to the point that the consequence could be very severe.

thank GOD you were safe after your naked adventures. seriously, you just made me get all mother hen protective about you. i would have to gather a differently abled posse and take out anyone that harmed you in that state of mind.

dixie · 07-20-2010, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

yikes. what is amazing to me? is that it is still being prescribed. at all. with sleep eating/sleep driving alone? it is clearly too risky and dangerous to the point that the consequence could be very severe.

thank GOD you were safe after your naked adventures. seriously, you just made me get all mother hen protective about you. i would have to gather a differently abled posse and take out anyone that harmed you in that state of mind.

Aww...thank you Mother Hen...

I could just imagine the posse you would put together. I can also imagine my utter mortification at being SEEN in such a state...gah!

I'm glad I don't have neighbors. They would have been horrified by the sight of this nekkid girl running amok in the yard...or hopefully they would have just thought I was a very spiritual individual dancing to the Moon Goddess...

Seriously though... It's strange, because it affects my grandmother in similar ways, but my dad takes it with no problems at all. Personally I do think it is way too dangerous. I'm really glad that when I woke up in the car, at least I didn't have my keys in the ignition.

SuperFemme · 08-21-2010, 11:25 AM

Thought for the day: May we all find a little bit of what make Faith the Dog tick within ourselves today, and every day.

FeminineAllure · 08-21-2010, 03:34 PM

It takes me 400 mg tegretol, 1mg benztropin, 1mg fluphenazine, 300 mg seroquel, 1mg klonopin, 1 to 2 benadryl, 1 singulair and 40mg of cymbalta to get to sleep for a few hours. If my pain from fibromyalgia is bad then I also take 1 30 mg oxycodone.
I have been on every sleeping pill made. They do not work for me. Trazodone makes me do really strange things as well. never again.

SuperFemme · 09-17-2010, 05:43 PM

Today I feel afraid, and sick, and am losing hope. So I was perusing my journals and came across something that my therapist in brain injury rehab gave to me a little over seven years ago. I thought I'd share it with you all, since your kindness and woo have been what holds me up when I cannot: Sometimes, when it is all too much? I have to come back here and read this. I have to remember. In the process my ability to hope happens again. I hope it means as much to ya'll as it did to me.

Hello,

I'm glad to see that you are awake! This is your brain talking. I had to find some way to communicate with you. I feel like I barely survived WWIII and am still not quite all in one piece. That's why I need you. I need you to take care of me.

As time passes and you and I feel better and better, people, even doctors, will tell you that we are fine, "it's time to get on with life." That sounds good to me and probably even better to you. But before you go rushing back out into that big wide world, I need you to listen to me, really listen. Don't shut me out. Don't tune me out. When I'm getting into trouble I'll need your help more than I ever have before.

I know that you want to believe that we are going to be the same. I'll do my best to make that happen. The problem is that too many people in our situation get impatient and try to rush the healing process; or when their brains can't fully recover they deny it and, instead of adapting, they force their brains to function in ways they are no longer able too. Some people even push their brains until they seize, and worse... I'm scared. I'm afraid that you will do that to me. If you don't accept me I am lost. We both will be lost.

How can I tell you how much I need you now? I need you to accept me as I am today... not for what I used to be, or what I might be in the future. So many people are so busy looking at what their brains used to do, as if past accomplishments were a magical yardstick to measure present success or failures, that they fail to see how far their brains have come. It's as if here is shame, or guilt, in being injured. Silly, huh?

Please don't be embarrassed or feel guilt, or shame, because of me. We are okay. We have made it this far. If you work with me we can make it even further. I can't say how far. I won't make any false promises. I can only promise you this, that I will do my best.

What I need you to do is this: because neither of us knows how badly I've been hurt (things are still a little foggy for me), or how much I will recover, or how quickly, please go s-l-o-w-l-y when you start back trying to resume your life. If I give you a headache, or make you sick to your stomach, or make you unusually irritable, or confused, or disoriented, or afraid, or make you feel that you are overdoing it, I'm trying to get your attention in the only way I can. Stop and listen to me.

I get exhausted easily since being hurt, and cannot succeed when overworked. I want to succeed as much as you do. I want to be as well as I can be, but I need to do it at a different pace than I could before I got hurt. Help me to help us by paying attention and heeding the messages I send to you.
I will do my part to do my very best to get us back on our feet. I am a little worried though that if I am not exactly the same... you will reject me and may even want to kill us. Other people have wanted to kill their brains, and some people have succeeded. I don't want to die, and I don't want you to die.

I want us to live, and breath and be, even if being is not the same as it was. Different may be better. It may be harder too, but I don't want you to give up. Don't give up on me. Don't give up on yourself. Our time here isn't through yet. There are things that I want to do and I want to try, even if trying has to be done in a different way. It isn't easy. I have to work very hard, much harder, and I know that you do too. I see people scoff, and misunderstand. I don't care. What I do care about is that you understand how hard I am working and how much I want to be as good as I can be, but I need you to take good care of us, as well as you can do that.

Don't be ashamed of me. We are alive. We are still here. I want the chance to try to show you what we are made of. I want to show you the things that are really important in life. We have been given another chance to be better, to learn what is really important. When it is finally time for our final exit I would like to look back and feel good about what we made of us and out of everything that made up our life, including this injury. I cannot do it without you. I cannot do it if you hate me for the way being injured has affected me and our life together. Please try not to be bitter in grief. That would crush me.

Please don't reject me. There is little I can do without you, without your determination to not give up. Take good care of us and of yourself. I need you very much, especially now.

Love,
your wounded brain

©1996 Stephanie St. Claire
May be reprinted for personal, not for profit use.
Livetulaff@aol.com
Contact me if
you have any questions or comments.

08-21-2010, 03:34 PM	#6
FeminineAllure Member How Do You Identify?: Female Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: My rainbow is way overdue Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: PA Posts: 1,145 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,659 Thanked 2,026 Times in 555 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	It takes me 400 mg tegretol, 1mg benztropin, 1mg fluphenazine, 300 mg seroquel, 1mg klonopin, 1 to 2 benadryl, 1 singulair and 40mg of cymbalta to get to sleep for a few hours. If my pain from fibromyalgia is bad then I also take 1 30 mg oxycodone. I have been on every sleeping pill made. They do not work for me. Trazodone makes me do really strange things as well. never again. __________________ Remember anyone can love you when the sun is shining...In the storm is where you learn who truly cares for you

08-21-2010, 11:25 AM	#5
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	Thought for the day: May we all find a little bit of what make Faith the Dog tick within ourselves today, and every day.

09-17-2010, 05:43 PM	#7
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	Today I feel afraid, and sick, and am losing hope. So I was perusing my journals and came across something that my therapist in brain injury rehab gave to me a little over seven years ago. I thought I'd share it with you all, since your kindness and woo have been what holds me up when I cannot: Sometimes, when it is all too much? I have to come back here and read this. I have to remember. In the process my ability to hope happens again. I hope it means as much to ya'll as it did to me. Hello, I'm glad to see that you are awake! This is your brain talking. I had to find some way to communicate with you. I feel like I barely survived WWIII and am still not quite all in one piece. That's why I need you. I need you to take care of me. As time passes and you and I feel better and better, people, even doctors, will tell you that we are fine, "it's time to get on with life." That sounds good to me and probably even better to you. But before you go rushing back out into that big wide world, I need you to listen to me, really listen. Don't shut me out. Don't tune me out. When I'm getting into trouble I'll need your help more than I ever have before. I know that you want to believe that we are going to be the same. I'll do my best to make that happen. The problem is that too many people in our situation get impatient and try to rush the healing process; or when their brains can't fully recover they deny it and, instead of adapting, they force their brains to function in ways they are no longer able too. Some people even push their brains until they seize, and worse... I'm scared. I'm afraid that you will do that to me. If you don't accept me I am lost. We both will be lost. How can I tell you how much I need you now? I need you to accept me as I am today... not for what I used to be, or what I might be in the future. So many people are so busy looking at what their brains used to do, as if past accomplishments were a magical yardstick to measure present success or failures, that they fail to see how far their brains have come. It's as if here is shame, or guilt, in being injured. Silly, huh? Please don't be embarrassed or feel guilt, or shame, because of me. We are okay. We have made it this far. If you work with me we can make it even further. I can't say how far. I won't make any false promises. I can only promise you this, that I will do my best. What I need you to do is this: because neither of us knows how badly I've been hurt (things are still a little foggy for me), or how much I will recover, or how quickly, please go s-l-o-w-l-y when you start back trying to resume your life. If I give you a headache, or make you sick to your stomach, or make you unusually irritable, or confused, or disoriented, or afraid, or make you feel that you are overdoing it, I'm trying to get your attention in the only way I can. Stop and listen to me. I get exhausted easily since being hurt, and cannot succeed when overworked. I want to succeed as much as you do. I want to be as well as I can be, but I need to do it at a different pace than I could before I got hurt. Help me to help us by paying attention and heeding the messages I send to you. I will do my part to do my very best to get us back on our feet. I am a little worried though that if I am not exactly the same... you will reject me and may even want to kill us. Other people have wanted to kill their brains, and some people have succeeded. I don't want to die, and I don't want you to die. I want us to live, and breath and be, even if being is not the same as it was. Different may be better. It may be harder too, but I don't want you to give up. Don't give up on me. Don't give up on yourself. Our time here isn't through yet. There are things that I want to do and I want to try, even if trying has to be done in a different way. It isn't easy. I have to work very hard, much harder, and I know that you do too. I see people scoff, and misunderstand. I don't care. What I do care about is that you understand how hard I am working and how much I want to be as good as I can be, but I need you to take good care of us, as well as you can do that. Don't be ashamed of me. We are alive. We are still here. I want the chance to try to show you what we are made of. I want to show you the things that are really important in life. We have been given another chance to be better, to learn what is really important. When it is finally time for our final exit I would like to look back and feel good about what we made of us and out of everything that made up our life, including this injury. I cannot do it without you. I cannot do it if you hate me for the way being injured has affected me and our life together. Please try not to be bitter in grief. That would crush me. Please don't reject me. There is little I can do without you, without your determination to not give up. Take good care of us and of yourself. I need you very much, especially now. Love, your wounded brain ©1996 Stephanie St. Claire May be reprinted for personal, not for profit use. Livetulaff@aol.com Contact me if you have any questions or comments.