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Old 07-20-2010, 02:18 PM   #1
Jet
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You know, there is a lot of anger in me. Anger that things happened, anger over everything i lost, anger that my life took a caustic and unexpected turn. I've broken glasses, lamps, kick in doors, walls and everything else that I'm ashamed of.

But here's the good news. I no longer blame God. Instead, I'm finally getting a grasp that it was/is awful, that I'm his child and that he cares very much that this "thing" happened. I carried trauma as though it belonged to me, and for so long that it became a gauge for normalcy. Can you imagine that when life is so bad for so long you adjust to the point that you think it's normal? That's when life and well being is truly lost or at least in jeopardy. That's when you become unrecognizable to yourself. Never let this happen, whatever you do, grab a hold of your identity, dignity, talents, your life and your worth. I let mine go. Never make that mistake because you'll risk never making it back.
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Old 07-20-2010, 02:22 PM   #2
Apocalipstic
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Originally Posted by Jet View Post
You know, there is a lot of anger in me. Anger that things happened, anger over everything i lost, anger that my life took a caustic and unexpected turn. I've broken glasses, lamps, kick in doors, walls and everything else that I'm ashamed of.

But here's the good news. I no longer blame God. Instead, I'm finally getting a grasp that it was/is awful, that I'm his child and that he cares very much that this "thing" happened. I carried trauma as though it belonged to me, and for so long that it became a gauge for normalcy. Can you imagine that when life is so bad for so long you adjust to the point that you think it's normal? That's when life and well being is truly lost or at least in jeopardy. That's when you become unrecognizable to yourself. Never let this happen, whatever you do, grab a hold of your identity, dignity, talents, your life and your worth. I let mine go. Never make that mistake because you'll risk never making it back.

Jet, remember every day can be a fresh new start!

You can say I work on ___________ just for today. It can be peace. It an be making a list of things that make you angry and eliminating some of them. It can be joy. But just for today, then it's not so overwhelming.

I will repeat myself.

Every day is a fresh new day, a fresh new start.

If you give up for a while, no big deal, just pick yourself up....just for today.
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Old 08-07-2010, 03:32 PM   #3
Jet
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Originally Posted by Jet View Post
You know, there is a lot of anger in me. Anger that things happened, anger over everything i lost, anger that my life took a caustic and unexpected turn. I've broken glasses, lamps, kick in doors, walls and everything else that I'm ashamed of.

But here's the good news. I no longer blame God. Instead, I'm finally getting a grasp that it was/is awful, that I'm his child and that he cares very much that this "thing" happened. I carried trauma as though it belonged to me, and for so long that it became a gauge for normalcy. Can you imagine that when life is so bad for so long you adjust to the point that you think it's normal? That's when life and well being is truly lost or at least in jeopardy. That's when you become unrecognizable to yourself. Never let this happen, whatever you do, grab a hold of your identity, dignity, talents, your life and your worth. I let mine go. Never make that mistake because you'll risk never making it back.

addendum


I'm still pissed. There is a lot of anger in me. Something happened this week that was costly to me. And i'm tired of this. Right when I thought I had things in check, it came rearing back.
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