How do you nurture yourself?

Jesse · 08-30-2010, 10:02 PM

I've truly enjoyed reading all of your replies. Thanks to you all.

For me, it helps greatly to know that I am not the only out there who is/has struggled with knowing how to self nurture.

Perhaps we can all be of help to one another on the journey to fully learning how...with the help of course from those who already know how and do well with it?

Grateful to you all,

Jesse

Diva · 08-30-2010, 10:18 PM

Today was a very difficult day for me. My oldest child would have been 30 today.

So I decided that I would allow myself to be sad, to cry, to eat whatever the hell I wanted to eat, to wear whatever the hell I wanted to wear (I stayed in my nightgown all day) and not do laundry or the floors (which I usually do on Mondays). I decided that if I wanted to drink wine until I'm silly, I would.

And I did.
And THAT is how I nurture my spoiled self.

LipstickLola · 11-01-2010, 11:12 AM

1. Do you nurture yourself? If so, what are the ways you do so?
It is very difficult for me to nurture myself, I'm fabulous in doing so for others, but the *g* word interferes with the self nurture, but I am learning. My horses, dogs, cats, gardening and my antiques and other old "things" feed me when I'm low.

2. Do you rely on your partner/family/friends to nurture you? Part of others nurturing me, is aksing/reaching out for what I need from others, this too is difficult, and a learning process. I was not nurtured as a child, therefore, I set out in life to be a different kind of mother. Asking for and receiving what I need is "selfishness" ingrained into me deeply since birth, it's really hard, but I am overcoming that! When I ask a partner or family member for what I need to feel nurtured, (just little things) I return that ten-fold, so it's to your advantage, LOL

3. Do you feel that you adequately learned how to nurture your self when you were growing up? NO, see above.

4. Do you feel any sort of discomfort about nurturing yourself?
Not so much anymore, it's so infrequent these days as I have a special needs adult child who is demanding a lot of time and effort, I also work the graveyard shift which is all consuming, by the days off, so much is needed to be done for the household in the way of everyday chores, bill pay, grocery shopping, general cleaning etc. BUT, I do find time albeit small snipets for myself.

5. Do you think that this whole self nurturing thing is just new age stuff and not even something worth talking about?
No, not at all!!! Self nurturing is paramount to being a whole person who is able to handle what life throws, and life does throw!!! My horses are my air, my drug, my therapy. They are seen as indulgences by my family and some friends, but? I'm very good lately about saying that it really doesn't effect them and is really none of their business, may seem harsh, but setting boundaries with family and toxic friends to me, is self nurturing and necessary to live!! I still act out of guilt now and again, but I am a work in progress!!

08-30-2010, 10:02 PM	#1
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I've truly enjoyed reading all of your replies. Thanks to you all. For me, it helps greatly to know that I am not the only out there who is/has struggled with knowing how to self nurture. Perhaps we can all be of help to one another on the journey to fully learning how...with the help of course from those who already know how and do well with it? Grateful to you all, Jesse __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

11-01-2010, 11:12 AM	#3
LipstickLola Member How Do You Identify?: Happy Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: planet Earth Posts: 682 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,679 Thanked 1,597 Times in 433 Posts Rep Power: 5678218	1. Do you nurture yourself? If so, what are the ways you do so? It is very difficult for me to nurture myself, I'm fabulous in doing so for others, but the g word interferes with the self nurture, but I am learning. My horses, dogs, cats, gardening and my antiques and other old "things" feed me when I'm low. 2. Do you rely on your partner/family/friends to nurture you? Part of others nurturing me, is aksing/reaching out for what I need from others, this too is difficult, and a learning process. I was not nurtured as a child, therefore, I set out in life to be a different kind of mother. Asking for and receiving what I need is "selfishness" ingrained into me deeply since birth, it's really hard, but I am overcoming that! When I ask a partner or family member for what I need to feel nurtured, (just little things) I return that ten-fold, so it's to your advantage, LOL 3. Do you feel that you adequately learned how to nurture your self when you were growing up? NO, see above. 4. Do you feel any sort of discomfort about nurturing yourself? Not so much anymore, it's so infrequent these days as I have a special needs adult child who is demanding a lot of time and effort, I also work the graveyard shift which is all consuming, by the days off, so much is needed to be done for the household in the way of everyday chores, bill pay, grocery shopping, general cleaning etc. BUT, I do find time albeit small snipets for myself. 5. Do you think that this whole self nurturing thing is just new age stuff and not even something worth talking about? No, not at all!!! Self nurturing is paramount to being a whole person who is able to handle what life throws, and life does throw!!! My horses are my air, my drug, my therapy. They are seen as indulgences by my family and some friends, but? I'm very good lately about saying that it really doesn't effect them and is really none of their business, may seem harsh, but setting boundaries with family and toxic friends to me, is self nurturing and necessary to live!! I still act out of guilt now and again, but I am a work in progress!! __________________ Happiness......it's a choice!!

08-30-2010, 10:18 PM	#2
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts Rep Power: 0	Today was a very difficult day for me. My oldest child would have been 30 today. So I decided that I would allow myself to be sad, to cry, to eat whatever the hell I wanted to eat, to wear whatever the hell I wanted to wear (I stayed in my nightgown all day) and not do laundry or the floors (which I usually do on Mondays). I decided that if I wanted to drink wine until I'm silly, I would. And I did. And THAT is how I nurture my spoiled self.