the Femme Rules the Butch Rules

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Tranzman

I feel better about us as a community finding ways to encourage the togetherness and ways that we work well together rather than any of this blank-verses-blank stuff!

I agree and think the OP should do what I recerntly did when making the same "vs" mistake..... report themselves and ask that the the thread be closed. Did this even though other thread titles have "vs" in them because I felt the members offended (as is true here) deserve my listening to them due to a communiy consenses. And it is one thing if one or two people take offense without solid grounds and quite another when many do and have the same basis, with sound reasoning and the spirit of the site's TOS (sexism and a transphobic slant, really that gemme caught) for complaint.

If a thread is going to bring on negative stances and just offends a lot of members, it isn't additive to the site. Sometimes an idea just flops and has nothing do with any ill intent of the OP at all..

[WolfyOne]

Personally, I think if the thread was retitled, it could be a learning lesson for anyone new to this site or to the communities we all live in. I see plenty of posts here that are well written and worthy of reading whether you're new or not. I for one am always impressed with what I read by others and what I care to take with me when I leave a thread.

[SuperFemme]

I think the word of the week is VERSUS.

I'm glad tomorrow is Sunday.

Nerd? I love your name and welcome.

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

I think the word of the week is VERSUS.

I'm glad tomorrow is Sunday.

Nerd? I love your name and welcome.

LOL, yeah must be a world record for thread titles. I think in most instances it has meant to compare rather than to compete (as in us vs. them) and I have been puzzled by some of the responses. However comparisons can also be problematic at times.

Note to self: don't ever put vs in a thread title

[SuperFemme]

My very first post on a b/f site ages ago was me jumping into a poly thread saying that I "wasn't morally capable" of doing poly.

It has taken 8 years for my ass to grow back.

Bah.

You live, you learn. I just want to make sure that Nerd knows we really ARE a loving bunch (with an extremely high nerd population).

So Nerd, don't mind us. Your ass will grow back, and this place really is super special in tons of ways.

[Ryobi]

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

Personally, I think if the thread was retitled, it could be a learning lesson for anyone new to this site or to the communities we all live in. I see plenty of posts here that are well written and worthy of reading whether you're new or not. I for one am always impressed with what I read by others and what I care to take with me when I leave a thread.

You being one of the "worthy of reading", retitling is a good idea. I agree we can all learn from threads like this. But, what would it be called? There's so many like it. I guess some one could start a thread "how not to get your ass ripped off". lol.

I agree also with being nice to new comers. When I read the first post, I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt, and I still do. I just can't help feeling though, the benefit of the doubt is a lot to still be asking for in this matter.
When I re-read the entire thread, the Monty Python skit "how not to be seen" ran through my head. lol. Poor Nerds merely stood up a bit from the shrubbery and it Blew up. lol

Nerds, welcome to the planet. We're not try to teach you "how not to be seen". I think it's more like hoping folks can see some things differently.

[waxnrope]

I like that, Ryobi. Thanks.
Maybe when newbies register, there should be a sign that tells them, "Newbies read this..... with an arrow pointing to a thread called by one of the names above. Or, Ass slings here ...?

[Toughy]

I actually find the thing sexist period. It is offensive to any and all female-bodied/woman folks. It is also offensive to men of all stripes.

It plays on stereotypical gender roles and frames any and all women as...........well Snow put it best.....something about controlling cunts. It makes men stupid and passive nitwits also.

I don't believe Nerd has come close to getting flamed. Nerd has not even received an ass bite, much less a chomping. We are becoming nice...........mmmmmmmmmmm

[waxnrope]

Is there a dentist in the house?

[Julie]

Originally Posted by Toughy

I actually find the thing sexist period. It is offensive to any and all female-bodied/woman folks. It is also offensive to men of all stripes.

It plays on stereotypical gender roles and frames any and all women as...........well Snow put it best.....something about controlling cunts. It makes men stupid and passive nitwits also.

I don't believe Nerd has come close to getting flamed. Nerd has not even received an ass bite, much less a chomping. We are becoming nice...........mmmmmmmmmmm

There is no question in my mind the OP in it's entirety was offensive and sexist, among other descriptives. However...

I am going to make the assumption that Nerd is either young or perhaps based on their geographic location (Netherlands) might not have been afforded the intellectual environment so many of us had in this community, by our community. Again, I might be insulting Nerd this very moment with my very assumptions.

Personally, after reading each and every post -- I am feeling more positive, in that this has turned into an open ground for communication. If we give ass whoopin's and beat down a person, who perhaps just doesn't get it, because they don't have the same experiences as us. We might turn somebody away, who might make a difference in our community one day. I have been out for 30 years in this community, but there was a time, when I was just plain young and stupid and thankfully... I had older femmes and butches to sit down with me and have open conversations, without feeling shamed.

Just remember this... If it were not for the strength of the butches and femmes before us, where might we be? We have a responsibility to our younger generations and those coming out, to guide and educate, so they in turn can help another. Otherwise, where will we be in a hundred years?

Julie

[SassyLeo]

Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme

There is no question in my mind the OP in it's entirety was offensive and sexist, among other descriptives. However...

I am going to make the assumption that Nerd is either young or perhaps based on their geographic location (Netherlands) might not have been afforded the intellectual environment so many of us had in this community, by our community. Again, I might be insulting Nerd this very moment with my very assumptions.

Personally, after reading each and every post -- I am feeling more positive, in that this has turned into an open ground for communication. If we give ass whoopin's and beat down a person, who perhaps just doesn't get it, because they don't have the same experiences as us. We might turn somebody away, who might make a difference in our community one day. I have been out for 30 years in this community, but there was a time, when I was just plain young and stupid and thankfully... I had older femmes and butches to sit down with me and have open conversations, without feeling shamed.

Just remember this... If it were not for the strength of the butches and femmes before us, where might we be? We have a responsibility to our younger generations and those coming out, to guide and educate, so they in turn can help another. Otherwise, where will we be in a hundred years?

Julie

THANK YOU JULIE

When I came into the BF community about 6/7 years ago... I had a bit to learn. Even though I grew up with Queer all around me, I did not have the "luxury" of the BF dynamic around me, so I joined several sites with the intent of learning and figuring my shit out.

I am so grateful to those who helped me, taught me, were generous enough to share knowledge and history with me. Yes, sometimes I got the snark, but I took it in stride, because it balanced out with the actual education I received.

I don't expect everyone to become an "educator" or have the patience to understand those who are still trying to figure it out... I am just glad some did (and hopefully still do)

Yes, I agree this kind of poll is sexist and heteronormative (2nding what many have said better before me) ...but sometimes I think we are really quick to lambaste someone...without first asking questions.

I should say this was much more calm than in the past - YAY progress!-

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Jackhammer

This is the second thread Ive removed the word VERSUS from tonight.
I'm on a roll.

go jack
go jack

it's your vs. day
it's your vs. day

i'll be here every saturday in months that have 12 days

[Ryobi]

Can we just call it, "The Femme rules the Butch" and see how that thread goes?

[Corkey]

So glad that Versus is gone. Perhaps newbies should have a page they go to first explaining that one persons humor isn't necessarily an entire sites? Nah, perhaps reading the tos and understanding it might help. So glad no feathers were scorched in the education of Nerds. We are becoming.....nicer...cringes.