the Femme Rules the Butch Rules

[waxnrope]

I like that, Ryobi. Thanks.
Maybe when newbies register, there should be a sign that tells them, "Newbies read this..... with an arrow pointing to a thread called by one of the names above. Or, Ass slings here ...?

[Toughy]

I actually find the thing sexist period. It is offensive to any and all female-bodied/woman folks. It is also offensive to men of all stripes.

It plays on stereotypical gender roles and frames any and all women as...........well Snow put it best.....something about controlling cunts. It makes men stupid and passive nitwits also.

I don't believe Nerd has come close to getting flamed. Nerd has not even received an ass bite, much less a chomping. We are becoming nice...........mmmmmmmmmmm

[waxnrope]

Is there a dentist in the house?

[Julie]

Originally Posted by Toughy

I actually find the thing sexist period. It is offensive to any and all female-bodied/woman folks. It is also offensive to men of all stripes.

It plays on stereotypical gender roles and frames any and all women as...........well Snow put it best.....something about controlling cunts. It makes men stupid and passive nitwits also.

I don't believe Nerd has come close to getting flamed. Nerd has not even received an ass bite, much less a chomping. We are becoming nice...........mmmmmmmmmmm

There is no question in my mind the OP in it's entirety was offensive and sexist, among other descriptives. However...

I am going to make the assumption that Nerd is either young or perhaps based on their geographic location (Netherlands) might not have been afforded the intellectual environment so many of us had in this community, by our community. Again, I might be insulting Nerd this very moment with my very assumptions.

Personally, after reading each and every post -- I am feeling more positive, in that this has turned into an open ground for communication. If we give ass whoopin's and beat down a person, who perhaps just doesn't get it, because they don't have the same experiences as us. We might turn somebody away, who might make a difference in our community one day. I have been out for 30 years in this community, but there was a time, when I was just plain young and stupid and thankfully... I had older femmes and butches to sit down with me and have open conversations, without feeling shamed.

Just remember this... If it were not for the strength of the butches and femmes before us, where might we be? We have a responsibility to our younger generations and those coming out, to guide and educate, so they in turn can help another. Otherwise, where will we be in a hundred years?

Julie

[SassyLeo]

Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme

There is no question in my mind the OP in it's entirety was offensive and sexist, among other descriptives. However...

I am going to make the assumption that Nerd is either young or perhaps based on their geographic location (Netherlands) might not have been afforded the intellectual environment so many of us had in this community, by our community. Again, I might be insulting Nerd this very moment with my very assumptions.

Personally, after reading each and every post -- I am feeling more positive, in that this has turned into an open ground for communication. If we give ass whoopin's and beat down a person, who perhaps just doesn't get it, because they don't have the same experiences as us. We might turn somebody away, who might make a difference in our community one day. I have been out for 30 years in this community, but there was a time, when I was just plain young and stupid and thankfully... I had older femmes and butches to sit down with me and have open conversations, without feeling shamed.

Just remember this... If it were not for the strength of the butches and femmes before us, where might we be? We have a responsibility to our younger generations and those coming out, to guide and educate, so they in turn can help another. Otherwise, where will we be in a hundred years?

Julie

THANK YOU JULIE

When I came into the BF community about 6/7 years ago... I had a bit to learn. Even though I grew up with Queer all around me, I did not have the "luxury" of the BF dynamic around me, so I joined several sites with the intent of learning and figuring my shit out.

I am so grateful to those who helped me, taught me, were generous enough to share knowledge and history with me. Yes, sometimes I got the snark, but I took it in stride, because it balanced out with the actual education I received.

I don't expect everyone to become an "educator" or have the patience to understand those who are still trying to figure it out... I am just glad some did (and hopefully still do)

Yes, I agree this kind of poll is sexist and heteronormative (2nding what many have said better before me) ...but sometimes I think we are really quick to lambaste someone...without first asking questions.

I should say this was much more calm than in the past - YAY progress!-

[ravfem]

i was telling a friend about this thread and that for whatever reason, the use of the word "stupid" to describe the original post rubbed me the wrong way.

She pointed out something i hadn't thought about...

Although i've never been called stupid (that i can remember), i've always thought the word was just rude. She reminded me that just because i feel that way about the word doesn't mean everyone does. Like a lot of words/phrases, it means different things to different people, and is used in different ways.

So yeah, i think that's why it bothered me enough to post.

A ha-ha: When my son was small, i taught him that the word stupid was a bad word and shouldn't be used. He was playing with a friend one day and ran into the house to tattle, "mama! he said the "s" word!!"

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Jackhammer

This is the second thread Ive removed the word VERSUS from tonight.
I'm on a roll.

go jack
go jack

it's your vs. day
it's your vs. day

i'll be here every saturday in months that have 12 days

[Ryobi]

Can we just call it, "The Femme rules the Butch" and see how that thread goes?

[Corkey]

So glad that Versus is gone. Perhaps newbies should have a page they go to first explaining that one persons humor isn't necessarily an entire sites? Nah, perhaps reading the tos and understanding it might help. So glad no feathers were scorched in the education of Nerds. We are becoming.....nicer...cringes.

[nicetgurl_30]

What I love the most about this site, is that ppl are allowed and accepted for who they are here. It would be ashamed if all those restrictions we placed on someone simply because they posted a stereotype joke in the humor section.

If we don't agree w someones statement or choice is it"our" duty to teach them that their wrong till they think or behave like the "majority"

Sorry for spelling errors.

[Corkey]

Know your audience, all comics know this one rule.

[ravfem]

*waving a white flag* i come in peace!

Y'all are gonna jump on me, i know that and i'm trying to prepare myself for it. i don't like getting jumped on, and so i usually just don't post when i disagree with the majority, so i'm not sure why i've picked tonight to post.

Maybe it's lack of chocolate....

i have seen other posters attacked more vehemently than this one, but to say that some are being nice by calling the original post stupid?? Really? Just because some of the more progressive, forward-thinking, PC among us think the post was stupid doesn't mean it was, period. Many people will read and laugh and nod their head, knowing it is a ha-ha, not a bible. Then they'll read on and the smile will disappear quickly. Hopefully if they are new to the site they wont assume the entire site and the population who post here are all like some of the subsequent posts.

i was not offended by the post, but then again i don't make a habit of taking things personally, in general. i know the post wasn't about me. i recognize it was a ha-ha kinda thing. (old, but still...)

Yeah, i am like some of the things listed. But still, the post was not about me, and it was not about you, personally, either.

Why do we prefer calling posts stupid (or worse) rather than just ignore them or at least try to be courteous when we let the person posting know we don't agree?

It feels mean to me. Rude. And i'm sure that someone will respond with "well i found the post rude". So.....because it was rude, you have to be rude too?

Some tell me that i am unrealistic and naive. Maybe i am. Or maybe i'm overly-sensitive. OK, maybe that's it...i'm overly sensitive to what i feel is rudeness the same way others are overly-sensitive to what they feel is stupid? (often, i work out my thoughts while in the middle of typing stuff...it's how i process) But i just don't get why it's so easy to be mean & rude. And i'm not saying that every response has been mean. So if you weren't mean, then don't take this personally

i really do come from a "why can't we all just get along" place. i know that it's not possible, i know that we're all individuals with our own thoughts and feelings. And i know we all have equal right to post how we feel.

But dang....how about a little kindness?

One last thing.....about what i said in the beginning about getting jumped on? i don't think, for the most part, most posters mean to jump on others....but it does happen.

*hands out flowers to everyone who would like one*

[Corkey]

Thanks for the flowers, but perpetuating a stereotype is not something I find funny in the least. I however have not called anyone stupid, and we all don't see humor the same, hence know your audience.
It isn't up to those offended to put up with the offense, it is incumbent on the offender to not offend. Could it be funny...no it is perpetual garbage and juvenile at best. But hey I'm just your stereotypical guy right.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by ravfem

*waving a white flag* i come in peace!

Y'all are gonna jump on me, i know that and i'm trying to prepare myself for it. i don't like getting jumped on, and so i usually just don't post when i disagree with the majority, so i'm not sure why i've picked tonight to post.

Maybe it's lack of chocolate....

i have seen other posters attacked more vehemently than this one, but to say that some are being nice by calling the original post stupid?? Really? Just because some of the more progressive, forward-thinking, PC among us think the post was stupid doesn't mean it was, period. Many people will read and laugh and nod their head, knowing it is a ha-ha, not a bible. Then they'll read on and the smile will disappear quickly. Hopefully if they are new to the site they wont assume the entire site and the population who post here are all like some of the subsequent posts.

i was not offended by the post, but then again i don't make a habit of taking things personally, in general. i know the post wasn't about me. i recognize it was a ha-ha kinda thing. (old, but still...)

Yeah, i am like some of the things listed. But still, the post was not about me, and it was not about you, personally, either.

Why do we prefer calling posts stupid (or worse) rather than just ignore them or at least try to be courteous when we let the person posting know we don't agree?

It feels mean to me. Rude. And i'm sure that someone will respond with "well i found the post rude". So.....because it was rude, you have to be rude too?

Some tell me that i am unrealistic and naive. Maybe i am. Or maybe i'm overly-sensitive. OK, maybe that's it...i'm overly sensitive to what i feel is rudeness the same way others are overly-sensitive to what they feel is stupid? (often, i work out my thoughts while in the middle of typing stuff...it's how i process) But i just don't get why it's so easy to be mean & rude. And i'm not saying that every response has been mean. So if you weren't mean, then don't take this personally

i really do come from a "why can't we all just get along" place. i know that it's not possible, i know that we're all individuals with our own thoughts and feelings. And i know we all have equal right to post how we feel.

But dang....how about a little kindness?

One last thing.....about what i said in the beginning about getting jumped on? i don't think, for the most part, most posters mean to jump on others....but it does happen.

*hands out flowers to everyone who would like one*

I don't feel I was unkind and I don't feel I have to dismiss a sexist post, ha-haing about jokes that make femme's look like passive aggressive cunts is not my cuppa.

I hope that Nerds takes the time to read the link I left them. It's just not cool to come up into a thread and post rules about how huffy, tempermental, manipulative, passive aggressive femme's are and how the poor butch just sits there and nods like a circus monkey.

As for the jumping theory, I don't see it, I see it as people being not ok with posts and threads like this, that are demeaning.