If You *REALLY* knew Me...

[nicetgurl_30]

That my mother has pancreatic cancer and also had a craniotomy done. That most days after work I go home to feed and help bathe her. I go back to my apt and along the way, I cry because my time w her is short.
I choose ppl very closely that will be in my life and I hardly trust anyone.
And I've had my heart broken, but still have to see/ work w person everyday who did it.

[Bit]

{{{{{{{{{{{nicetgurl}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry about your mom. I wish you peace.

[nicetgurl_30]

Okay that last post I did was kinda depressing sorry.
I would like to add that if you knew me I love to sing very loudly and badly to radio to cheer myself up.
That I have one of the best moms in the world, who taught me to love and judge no one. That I have two very cute and costly neieces who remind me that the simplethings in r sooo important.
And I'm addicted to video games (wii,ps3,xbox) and gadgets my apartment looks like radio shack lol

[Logicaly]

If you really knew me, you would know that my mother has never supported me. When I won my first tournament and I brought home my trophy, the only words out of her mouth was, how much did that cost? She never once watched me compete, nor did she care to. She also told the entire family that she did not think I would ever graduate high school, and that she was ashamed to be seen with me in public.

If you really knew me, you would know that I spent a good 5 years of my life after college, living at home, not working, but I was not being the moocher that everyone thinks I was. I was taking care of my mother who has epilepsy, and often times I would wake up to a cop knocking on the door saying he found her laying in the middle of the road, or to my dad calling me, telling me to quickly go get my mom where ever she was and to beat the ambulance there since they would take her in, and we couldn't afford it, and she didn't need it either.

If you really knew me, you would know that now, as of this day, I can not even talk to my mother whose problems have escalated past that of what it used to be. It came to a point where she lashed out at all of us, and now, unless she agrees to get help, she can't be a part of my life.

If you really knew me, you would know how much it saddens me, to have things be the way they have always been with my mother. To look at what my partner has with her mother, and wonder why it could not have been like that for me and my mother.

However...

If you really knew me, you would know how much love and respect I have for my father. He has never failed to encourage me in every idea I have ever come up with, no matter how stupid it might have been, he always said cool, and excellent. Even when I told him I was going to remodel the bathroom, but had no idea what I was doing, he let me do it anyways, and supported me in it.

If you really knew me, you would know that my dad tried to give me everything that he could, often times going without himself, so that I could have, and I am forever grateful to him for that. Even if it came down to my wanting the last fried won ton on chinese night.

If you really knew me, you would know that even to this day, I can find safety and peace in my fathers hug, and I know that if I need him, he will be there. The day he moved away, even though I am a grown man, I cried when I hugged him goodbye. Then when he moved back just recently, I couldn't wait to see him and hug him again.

If you really knew me, you would know that my dad, is my best friend.

[Abigail Crabby]

If you really knew me......

You'd know I enjoy living peaceful-easy

[Soft*Silver]

if you really knew me you would know that:

I collected Snow Village Christmas houses until an ex stole most of them as I was leaving her. These were part of my daughter's childhood and this despairs me so much I dont have the heart to re-collect them again

once I commit to something I will work toward it and not give up or give in

unless, of course, it breaks me first

[girl_dee]

If you really knew me you would now that like June, i have a fear of being homeless. I'm sure I will never be, but the fear of it just scares me. I didn't have this until Katrina.

that even though I am a submissive girl, I am only submissive two human beings, not the general population, and if you push me you'll see.

that I jump in with head first, then I look to see if there's water in the pool.

I have fears and phobias that I am sure no one else has or understands completely.


Lisa this is a great thread..

[Blade]

If you really knew me you'd know it is way past my bedtime and me and Skippy are about to snuggle up and get comfy.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

If you really knew me you would now that like June, i have a fear of being homeless. I'm sure I will never be, but the fear of it just scares me. I didn't have this until Katrina.

If you really knew me, you'd know that...for almost a year....I was homeless with my mother. I was around 7 years old and we were in D.C. during the winter. With our economy as it is, the fear is justified.

[paposeco]

If you really knew me..
you would know that I've been brought back to life, after being clinically dead for over an hour..
that was kidnapped and held against my will for over 17 hrs..
that I was stabbed in one of my eyes and had my back slashed, while protecting a lady from being raped..
when I was 17, I had to kill a man, in self defense..
that I am bi-racial and I don't put up with racism..
that I am very passionate..
that I can be very intense..
for the most part I am mellow, low key and drama free..
that I love my animals like crazy..
am loyal friend..
when in relationship, am loyal no matter what..
I believe women are God's greatest creation..
that my moms will always be the greatest love of my life..
and that one of my heart's secret desires (shhh...don't tell no body) is to get married and have a family..
and that my furries always eat before I do..
that I love life.

[Hack]

...you'd know I'm very quiet and shy in person.
...but you'd know that at work I am kind of like Ari Gold of Entourage, except I am much nicer to my assistant.
...you'd know that no matter what, I can never listen to anyone deliver I speech that I have written.
...you'd know that while I have a very visible job, I hate being the center of attention in any way, shape or form and prefer to be very deep behind the scenes in just about everything.
...you'd know I have old-fashioned manners and I use them.
...you'd know that I do good staff work in both my work and personal life.

[Soft*Silver]

you would know, that like some women have baby clocks in them and hear their birthing years ticking away, I hear a horse clock in me and I literally, every day, in one fashion or another, note that another day has passed that I do not have a horse and the few days I have left of decent health are declining and that means I have fewer days yet to enjoy a horse as well.

you would know that I remember watching Butterflies are Free and thinking it was the greatest movie ever made

you would know that I cant sew, not even a button on a shirt

I love wearing night gowns...and miss wearing them for someone to appreciate other than me...but I wear them now so I can appreciate them!

[cane]

If you really knew me, you would know that even though I say it's o.k. and that I don't care I find it really tiredsome and hard sometimes to always get questions about my gender.

If you really knew me, you would know, like my closes friends do, that I can seldom hear you and for the most part is reading your lips, I'm almost deaf.

If you really knew me, you would know that, even if I joke about it for the entertainment value of it, my upbringing and my relationship with my parents has cost me a lot of pain.

If you really knew me, you would know that even though I am a flirt, my life is completely depending on my wife, and that I live or die for her.

[FeminineAllure]

Thank you all for your simple answers as well as the heartfelt sharing in this thread. I see past a screen name into the depths of your souls. All of whom had much courage to open up so deeply. I admire that and have a greater understanding of who and what you are about.

[bigbutchmistie]

If you really knew me you'd know:

Im a die hard Dallas Cowboy Fan. I bleed blue and white.

Im a huge NHL Hockey Fan

Im a dog person not a cat person

That I wear my heart on my sleeve

That my friends come to me with their relationship problems

That Im always the matchmaker never the match

[bigbutchmistie]

If you really knew me you'd know :

Sugarland is my favorite band

You'd know I love country and gospel music the most.

Mexican is my favorite food

Reba McEntire is my favorite Singer

Kenneth Cole Black, Paris Hilton For Men, Perry Ellis Red And 360 are my fave colognes to wear.

I love smelling Bath And Body works and Victoria's Secret perfumes and lotions on a femme...

I love Pais Hilton For Women on a femme...