Are you OUT at work?

scootebaby · 09-17-2010, 11:28 AM

yes i am,and have been for a very long time...regardless where i work...all my employees know and have met Jo and know she is my girlfriend/partner....my coworkers at the other stores know and have also met JO...some of my customers know even...i dont broadcast it nor do i hide it...if asked i tell.....even my son doesnt hide the fact...he usually tells his friends before i ever meet them...he says if they have an issue with it he doesnt need them as friends

DamonK · 09-17-2010, 12:20 PM

Most of my coworkers know.

I don't hide it; I don't advertise it. I out myself half the time just by my looks.

A select few know my trans status, but they don't get it. I'm still called my bio-name and still referred to as she.

Whereas I don't like it, the way I see it is that I'm at work to work, not make friends. The ones that count call me he and Damon.

My residents, however, do NOT know. Like I said, I don't advertise it and my coworkers respect me enough to not advertise it either. If they do know, it's not from staff.

Apocalipstic · 09-17-2010, 01:33 PM

Though I live in tge South, I am very out and we hold hands wherever we go!

I think it is important to be out and stand PROUD!

Strappie · 09-17-2010, 01:37 PM

OUT.... and .... PROUD....

All my co-workers know, we have same sex beny's too!!

bright_arrow · 09-17-2010, 01:48 PM

Always been out

Don't advertise, but I won't beat around the bush if it comes up

Gayla · 09-17-2010, 02:35 PM

I don't think I'm ever "in" so coming out really isn't an issue.

It's not really anything I ever think about or am really concerned about, it's just something that is. I work from the assumption that everyone knows and it's a non-issue.

There are a couple of other agents in my office that may have a problem with it but no one has ever said anything to me. As far as clients, it's not something I beat them over the head with but it's not something I hide. Clients have a choice to work with me or not, and I have a choice to work with them or not. I think if it's an issue, they just move on to someone else. On the other side of that, I wouldn't really know if my clients have issues or not because we don't talk politics, gay rights, religion, etc. It's not like I only sell gay houses or only sell houses to gays.

As I said to someone a few weeks ago, I'm a flag waving liberal in an industry of people who are, well.. who are not flag waving liberals. If I choose who to work with based on their political beliefs, I probably wouldn't have much business. This goes not just for clients but all of the other people who I interact with on a daily basis to complete transactions. Again, I don't walk around waving my rainbow flag all day every day but it's not something I hide.

Apocalipstic · 09-17-2010, 02:43 PM

I purposefully chose an industry where my sexual orientation would never be a problem. I thought about teaching, but was afraid that here in TN people would show up with pitchforks to burn down my house.

JustJo · 09-17-2010, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scootebaby

yes i am,and have been for a very long time...regardless where i work...all my employees know and have met Jo and know she is my girlfriend/partner....my coworkers at the other stores know and have also met JO

They wouldn't dare say anything honey...they want those chocolate chip cookies!

princessbelle · 09-17-2010, 04:49 PM

I am out more than I thought I would ever be at work. It's not common knowledge but I have told a few people that are close and then there are also some gay people there that are out and they know as well.

I don't discuss it for just any old reason. But, if someone is trying to fix me up (rme) as in wanting me to meet their brother for the 5th time (rme again) I finally just tell them so I can get on with things and try and hang out with the few that know my sexual preference without all that stuff.

My boss also knows because i felt that was important in case i am someday in a relationship and my partner or their family get sick/die etc.

I have been totally accepted by it all at least to my face. It makes me more comfortable and i'm glad i've at least told the few that I have.

princessbelle · 05-27-2011, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by princessbelle

I am out more than I thought I would ever be at work. It's not common knowledge but I have told a few people that are close and then there are also some gay people there that are out and they know as well.

I don't discuss it for just any old reason. But, if someone is trying to fix me up (rme) as in wanting me to meet their brother for the 5th time (rme again) I finally just tell them so I can get on with things and try and hang out with the few that know my sexual preference without all that stuff.

My boss also knows because i felt that was important in case i am someday in a relationship and my partner or their family get sick/die etc.

I have been totally accepted by it all at least to my face. It makes me more comfortable and i'm glad i've at least told the few that I have.

Wrote this back in Sept last year. It's fun to go back and see past posts and see the amount of progress or changes we make in life isn't it?

Many at work know i'm gay now. I have found my company is very accepting however i am still somewhat careful with whom i tell. Mostly because it is no one's buisness unless "i" feel like it is.

Snacktime has met my boss, the office secretary and as a matter of fact also met my company's pastor (hospice clergy). They were very accepting and treated him with respect and ask about him from time to time and stuff.

It feels good to be accepted. It feels good to not hide. Now, just gotta work on the rest of the world.... *smiles.

Red Dirt Girl · 08-09-2011, 07:17 PM

Definately out. On the LGBTQRST advisory committee and we actually have "Gay Day" there! And it's not a queer organization. They just embrace the gays.

Strappie · 08-09-2011, 08:01 PM

I couldn't be more out at work...

The owner of our company, 2 sales people, and 3 warehouse people are gay out of 17 ppl. We have same sex beny's. Any work gathering we are all asked to invite our "partners/significant other" In fact the other owner is str8 he supports us and marches in Pride every year.

I couldn't be happier at a job!!

Red Dirt Girl · 08-10-2011, 04:32 AM

Oh yeah, we have a booth at Pride every year too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strappie

I couldn't be more out at work...

The owner of our company, 2 sales people, and 3 warehouse people are gay out of 17 ppl. We have same sex beny's. Any work gathering we are all asked to invite our "partners/significant other" In fact the other owner is str8 he supports us and marches in Pride every year.

I couldn't be happier at a job!!

Softly · 08-09-2011, 08:17 PM

No

I came out to one girl, she surprisingly told me she had feelings for women. She left the company few months ago.

I haven't had to come out, or reason to.
I don't feel comfortable enough in my office to speak openly about it just randomly.

At my previous job, over a year ago, I was open, pictures all over. Its just a different environment and set of people.

I saw a woman with pride stickers on her car. I just feel warm inside knowing she's there.

sweetiefemme · 08-09-2011, 08:32 PM

I do social work for a Catholic agency. I had to come out to my boss because a coworker kept saying "That is so gay". I finally had to tell her that she is a grown up, working in a professional job and it is unacceptable. So needless to say I am the gay one at the Catholic agency that is going to hell.

CherylNYC · 08-09-2011, 08:43 PM

I'm as out as I could possibly be. It's easy for me because I'm a freelance artist in NYC. I belong to a Union of artists with a high proportion of gay men, but not that many lesbians for some reason. If I can't be out I don't know who could be. My picture is in the paper fairly regularly after the Pride Parade, (they love to print pics of the women on motorcycles), so I would be out even if I never said a word.

I work with a rotating cast of coworkers who I may work with for months at a time, and then I may work with the same crew again for another several month stint, or I may not work with the same artists again for years. Because we're artists the environment is usually pretty open, and no one seems to feel the need to hold back about their lives. If it's been awhile we'll want to catch up with each other. I hear about my co-workers children, house projects, etc. They hear about my motorcycles, girlfriends (when I have them), and any other not painfully private details. My coworkers were unbelievably kind and supportive when I lost my partner, and again when I lost my girlfriend. Everyone just poured out their good will towards me.

Previous to working in my wonderful union full of artists, I worked in the stagehand's union as a carpenter/stagehand. The environment couldn't have been worse for a woman, much less a lesbian. I was very, very out anyway. Did I get harassed? You bet. Did I lose work? I'm sure of it. I was pretty cranky about being out no matter what the repercussions, and I have a smart aggressive mouth. I think it would have been even worse for me if those big ole bigoted men weren't perhaps a little bit apprehensive about facing my angry mouth. I'm SO glad that part of my life is long behind me.

bigbutchmistie · 08-09-2011, 10:40 PM

FYI I cant stand it when I hear that at my job "Thats so gay" turns my insides out and makes me fighting mad.. Ive had to tell my bosses about hearing individuals say that phrase. I am gay and I DONT appreciate it.. Ok stepping off soap box now... LOL

Yes, I am completely totally out. I wouldnt work somewhere I couldnt be. No my company doesnt march in gay parades. But I love it our annual sales meeting when the President and Vice President stand up every year and say I dont care your color sex if you are straight gay bi trans how you identify. I care about the JOB you do for us. And that always makes me feel good. I guess that's why Ive stayed there for so many years and made it my career.

Jessica · 08-09-2011, 08:30 PM

I am out at work. I don't hide it at all. There are a few of us at my job. We joke around with the straight people to watch out cause the rainbow attacks. Its nice to work with people who don't treat me any differently because of who i choose to be with. Hopefully my next job will be just as accepting as this one has been.

ravfem · 09-17-2010, 04:54 PM

my first "adult" job was working admin for a very conservative doctor (he was a Bob Jones man, for those of you who know BJU). i came out within my first month of being there, and brought my (then) gf to the holiday get-togethers. During my time there, BJU was asking the city for public tax money to remodel their art museum, and i was one of a handful who were openly protesting it.

At the county council meeting regarding it, the local news station got me speaking about it. The next day at work, he told me he had seen me on tv, and thought i was very articulate. i took that as a huge compliment! i worked for him for 4 years before moving away from the city for a year. When i ran into him at the grocery store not long after moving back, he asked me on the spot to come back to work for him.

i was out at every job after that. The hardest was when i was with my TG ex. It was before he'd started medically transitioning, but was already referred to as "he". That took my co-workers & boss a while to grasp - that i was a lesbian with a "woman" who wanted to be a man. But they were good sports and he was always included in office get-togethers.

Personally, for me, it *does* matter to be as out as possible, though i completely understand that not everyone feels comfortable or safe coming out.

Kobi · 09-17-2010, 05:25 PM

I have never hidden who I was in the workplace. I have always referred to my partners by name and used the term partner without even a second thought. I have brought partners to company events and they were readily accepted and welcomed.

For me, being a lesbian is just a part of the person I am. It doesnt define who I am or what I am about as a person in and of itself. And, I have never encountered a negative response, so it never occurs to me to hide it. It also never occurs to me to make a big deal out of it i.e. I dont ever remember having a coming out to someone talk. I just live my life.

I'm blessed to live in an such an accepting area with such super coworkers.

09-17-2010, 01:33 PM	#3
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,361 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Though I live in tge South, I am very out and we hold hands wherever we go! I think it is important to be out and stand PROUD! __________________

09-17-2010, 02:43 PM	#7
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,361 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I purposefully chose an industry where my sexual orientation would never be a problem. I thought about teaching, but was afraid that here in TN people would show up with pitchforks to burn down my house. __________________

09-17-2010, 04:49 PM	#9
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I am out more than I thought I would ever be at work. It's not common knowledge but I have told a few people that are close and then there are also some gay people there that are out and they know as well. I don't discuss it for just any old reason. But, if someone is trying to fix me up (rme) as in wanting me to meet their brother for the 5th time (rme again) I finally just tell them so I can get on with things and try and hang out with the few that know my sexual preference without all that stuff. My boss also knows because i felt that was important in case i am someday in a relationship and my partner or their family get sick/die etc. I have been totally accepted by it all at least to my face. It makes me more comfortable and i'm glad i've at least told the few that I have. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

08-09-2011, 07:17 PM	#11
Red Dirt Girl Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: PrincessPrettyPants, please. Relationship Status: Excellent. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: near the ocean Posts: 188 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 387 Thanked 265 Times in 94 Posts Rep Power: 4524911	Definately out. On the LGBTQRST advisory committee and we actually have "Gay Day" there! And it's not a queer organization. They just embrace the gays. __________________ Red

08-09-2011, 08:32 PM	#15
sweetiefemme Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Loved Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Tri-Cities, Washington Posts: 60 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 354 Thanked 131 Times in 37 Posts Rep Power: 1652685	I do social work for a Catholic agency. I had to come out to my boss because a coworker kept saying "That is so gay". I finally had to tell her that she is a grown up, working in a professional job and it is unacceptable. So needless to say I am the gay one at the Catholic agency that is going to hell. __________________ Jen

09-17-2010, 11:28 AM	#1
scootebaby Timed Out How Do You Identify?: yes dear Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: south florida Posts: 2,494 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,264 Thanked 6,737 Times in 1,777 Posts Rep Power: 0	yes i am,and have been for a very long time...regardless where i work...all my employees know and have met Jo and know she is my girlfriend/partner....my coworkers at the other stores know and have also met JO...some of my customers know even...i dont broadcast it nor do i hide it...if asked i tell.....even my son doesnt hide the fact...he usually tells his friends before i ever meet them...he says if they have an issue with it he doesnt need them as friends

09-17-2010, 12:20 PM	#2
DamonK Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: May 2010 Location: . Posts: 2,199 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,527 Thanked 7,762 Times in 1,881 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Most of my coworkers know. I don't hide it; I don't advertise it. I out myself half the time just by my looks. A select few know my trans status, but they don't get it. I'm still called my bio-name and still referred to as she. Whereas I don't like it, the way I see it is that I'm at work to work, not make friends. The ones that count call me he and Damon. My residents, however, do NOT know. Like I said, I don't advertise it and my coworkers respect me enough to not advertise it either. If they do know, it's not from staff.

09-17-2010, 01:37 PM	#4
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,945 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	OUT.... and .... PROUD.... All my co-workers know, we have same sex beny's too!!

09-17-2010, 01:48 PM	#5
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: nor cal Posts: 2,910 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,644 Thanked 9,363 Times in 2,296 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Always been out Don't advertise, but I won't beat around the bush if it comes up

09-17-2010, 02:35 PM	#6
Gayla Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kinky Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: I'm not picky Relationship Status: She makes me dance like a fool and forget how to breathe. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: SF CA Posts: 3,229 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 877 Thanked 7,077 Times in 1,966 Posts Rep Power: 0	I don't think I'm ever "in" so coming out really isn't an issue. It's not really anything I ever think about or am really concerned about, it's just something that is. I work from the assumption that everyone knows and it's a non-issue. There are a couple of other agents in my office that may have a problem with it but no one has ever said anything to me. As far as clients, it's not something I beat them over the head with but it's not something I hide. Clients have a choice to work with me or not, and I have a choice to work with them or not. I think if it's an issue, they just move on to someone else. On the other side of that, I wouldn't really know if my clients have issues or not because we don't talk politics, gay rights, religion, etc. It's not like I only sell gay houses or only sell houses to gays. As I said to someone a few weeks ago, I'm a flag waving liberal in an industry of people who are, well.. who are not flag waving liberals. If I choose who to work with based on their political beliefs, I probably wouldn't have much business. This goes not just for clients but all of the other people who I interact with on a daily basis to complete transactions. Again, I don't walk around waving my rainbow flag all day every day but it's not something I hide.

08-09-2011, 08:01 PM	#12
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,945 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I couldn't be more out at work... The owner of our company, 2 sales people, and 3 warehouse people are gay out of 17 ppl. We have same sex beny's. Any work gathering we are all asked to invite our "partners/significant other" In fact the other owner is str8 he supports us and marches in Pride every year. I couldn't be happier at a job!!

08-09-2011, 08:17 PM	#14
Softly Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Seattle Posts: 655 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 465 Thanked 701 Times in 253 Posts Rep Power: 3646036	No I came out to one girl, she surprisingly told me she had feelings for women. She left the company few months ago. I haven't had to come out, or reason to. I don't feel comfortable enough in my office to speak openly about it just randomly. At my previous job, over a year ago, I was open, pictures all over. Its just a different environment and set of people. I saw a woman with pride stickers on her car. I just feel warm inside knowing she's there.

08-09-2011, 08:43 PM	#16
CherylNYC Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: I'm a woman. Behave accordingly. Relationship Status: Single, not looking. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: NYC Posts: 1,467 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,474 Thanked 7,116 Times in 1,205 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'm as out as I could possibly be. It's easy for me because I'm a freelance artist in NYC. I belong to a Union of artists with a high proportion of gay men, but not that many lesbians for some reason. If I can't be out I don't know who could be. My picture is in the paper fairly regularly after the Pride Parade, (they love to print pics of the women on motorcycles), so I would be out even if I never said a word. I work with a rotating cast of coworkers who I may work with for months at a time, and then I may work with the same crew again for another several month stint, or I may not work with the same artists again for years. Because we're artists the environment is usually pretty open, and no one seems to feel the need to hold back about their lives. If it's been awhile we'll want to catch up with each other. I hear about my co-workers children, house projects, etc. They hear about my motorcycles, girlfriends (when I have them), and any other not painfully private details. My coworkers were unbelievably kind and supportive when I lost my partner, and again when I lost my girlfriend. Everyone just poured out their good will towards me. Previous to working in my wonderful union full of artists, I worked in the stagehand's union as a carpenter/stagehand. The environment couldn't have been worse for a woman, much less a lesbian. I was very, very out anyway. Did I get harassed? You bet. Did I lose work? I'm sure of it. I was pretty cranky about being out no matter what the repercussions, and I have a smart aggressive mouth. I think it would have been even worse for me if those big ole bigoted men weren't perhaps a little bit apprehensive about facing my angry mouth. I'm SO glad that part of my life is long behind me. __________________ Cheryl

08-09-2011, 10:40 PM	#17
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	FYI I cant stand it when I hear that at my job "Thats so gay" turns my insides out and makes me fighting mad.. Ive had to tell my bosses about hearing individuals say that phrase. I am gay and I DONT appreciate it.. Ok stepping off soap box now... LOL Yes, I am completely totally out. I wouldnt work somewhere I couldnt be. No my company doesnt march in gay parades. But I love it our annual sales meeting when the President and Vice President stand up every year and say I dont care your color sex if you are straight gay bi trans how you identify. I care about the JOB you do for us. And that always makes me feel good. I guess that's why Ive stayed there for so many years and made it my career.

08-09-2011, 08:30 PM	#18
Jessica Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Just Me :) Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Virginia Posts: 56 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 93 Thanked 78 Times in 35 Posts Rep Power: 1393057	I am out at work. I don't hide it at all. There are a few of us at my job. We joke around with the straight people to watch out cause the rainbow attacks. Its nice to work with people who don't treat me any differently because of who i choose to be with. Hopefully my next job will be just as accepting as this one has been.

09-17-2010, 04:54 PM	#19
ravfem Senior Member How Do You Identify?: i'm a girl Relationship Status: negative Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Georgia Posts: 1,811 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,239 Thanked 3,126 Times in 1,270 Posts Rep Power: 1969286	my first "adult" job was working admin for a very conservative doctor (he was a Bob Jones man, for those of you who know BJU). i came out within my first month of being there, and brought my (then) gf to the holiday get-togethers. During my time there, BJU was asking the city for public tax money to remodel their art museum, and i was one of a handful who were openly protesting it. At the county council meeting regarding it, the local news station got me speaking about it. The next day at work, he told me he had seen me on tv, and thought i was very articulate. i took that as a huge compliment! i worked for him for 4 years before moving away from the city for a year. When i ran into him at the grocery store not long after moving back, he asked me on the spot to come back to work for him. i was out at every job after that. The hardest was when i was with my TG ex. It was before he'd started medically transitioning, but was already referred to as "he". That took my co-workers & boss a while to grasp - that i was a lesbian with a "woman" who wanted to be a man. But they were good sports and he was always included in office get-togethers. Personally, for me, it does matter to be as out as possible, though i completely understand that not everyone feels comfortable or safe coming out. __________________

09-17-2010, 05:25 PM	#20
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	I have never hidden who I was in the workplace. I have always referred to my partners by name and used the term partner without even a second thought. I have brought partners to company events and they were readily accepted and welcomed. For me, being a lesbian is just a part of the person I am. It doesnt define who I am or what I am about as a person in and of itself. And, I have never encountered a negative response, so it never occurs to me to hide it. It also never occurs to me to make a big deal out of it i.e. I dont ever remember having a coming out to someone talk. I just live my life. I'm blessed to live in an such an accepting area with such super coworkers.