So what does being Bisexual, mean to you ?

[Dragonfly]

Originally Posted by Laerkin

I am so inspired by all of the posts, all of the honesty.

I think bisexuality is the ugly stepchild of the gay community sometimes. One of my nearest and dearest identifies as queer even though she's fully bisexual, simply because she's afraid of the stigma that both straight and gay communities associate with the term - either she can't make up her mind, she's too afraid of being fully gay, she's only half-gay because of politics, she's a whore, she's a traitor...there's a long list of inadequacies that get thrown at people who identify as bisexual.

My understanding of bisexuality is that it's just as fluid and dynamic as any other sexuality or gender.

Some people identify as lesbian because it's about the sex - women just turn them on in a way that other genders never could.

For others, lesbian is more about the emotional and spiritual connection than the sex.

I think the same is true for bisexuals - some people are equally attracted to both sexes but gravitate towards one or the other because of emotional or spiritual connections. Others are split right down the middle. I wish more people who were truly bisexual would come flying out of the closet to help dispel so many of the assumptions and myths.

Personally, I am attracted to pretty much any kind of person (XX, XY, male, female, man, woman, gender-fluid, gender-variant, gender-queer, butch, femme, hym, hir) as long as the energy and the attitude and the charisma are there. I am equal opportunity that way when it comes to what turns me on and makes me horny (though I will say sperm kind of grosses me out no matter how hot the guy is - LOL).

The deciding factor for me is that I'm just naturally drawn to women and folks with women-bodied experiences. I feel more comfortable and open. I feel a connection that blossoms organically when the person I'm interacting with intrinsically understands a little bit of my story.

I don't identify as bisexual because while the sexual attraction may exist, the emotional and spiritual connection reaches it's true depths with women, butches, and FTMs more than the XYs of the world.

If I weren't in a relationship, I wouldn't exclude any possibility, though - I believe circumstances are constantly changing my perception of the world. Matters of the heart can be messy and complicated and I try not to be too rigid in my definitions.

A personal note to betenoire - your post was fantastic. Your last point about the importance of finding a match for your personality, your passions, your style is spot-on. I love it.

I so have to say I really get the fear stigma and traitor slinging that sometimes the bisexual experience. I have been left for the XY treated like a sex toy and been excluded as a possible parenting partner by my bisexual exes. I have seen both sides and I think our community is moving forward with terms like queer so we may look deeper an what we each project onto the term bisexual as a label.