Dating and Race

[Ebon]

I've never dated outside of my race, I always date humans. However I have dated people that were a different color from me or have come from different cultures, even different countries. I have never had a problem, it has never been an issue. I guess I don't attract people that would even think to have to ask if I would date them because they are a certain color. I would rather not associate with people that limit themselves as far as skin color or culture goes because we won't have much in common as friends or otherwise. That could be me being narrow minded but I don't care.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Organicbutch

I've never dated outside of my race, I always date humans. However I have dated people that were a different color from me or have come from different cultures, even different countries. I have never had a problem, it has never been an issue. I guess I don't attract people that would even think to have to ask if I would date them because they are a certain color. I would rather not associate with people that limit themselves as far as skin color or culture goes because we won't have much in common as friends or otherwise. That could be me being narrow minded but I don't care.

Wait.

I'm human (AND not black?)?

Wow.


Dragonfly,

I'm glad that you and the person you are interested in have been able to talk about yourselves and the possibility of dating. It sounds like you two have a lot to discuss, but keep in mind that there's a time and place for everything. There's no rush to have every race-related conversation right NOW. Take your time and just breathe.

You are a sweet person and I'm sure that she will see that and help you with any questions that come up along the way.

[waxnrope]

Im sooo confused. Everyone is interpreting, but I got no confirmation or clarity from the OP.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by waxnrope

Im sooo confused. Everyone is interpreting, but I got no confirmation or clarity from the OP.

True true, I am just not getting where skin color is the important part unless it would be easier to be rejected for a really generalized thing like skin tone rather than who she is as a person?

Tell them you like them and see where it all falls out...worst that can happen is they say no?

[The_Lady_Snow]

I am still at a loss

[Soft*Silver]

Dragonfly, if you are asking when is the right time in the course of a new friendship/relationship to ask if the person dates someone of a different color, the time is when the question needs an answer. Obviously its now.

Just ask her out. If she says yes, its because she likes you, not because of what color you are.

stop fussing. Dating is suppose to be fun. You are swooning over her. Stop looking for pitfalls and just ask her out...

[Dragonfly]

Originally Posted by softness

Dragonfly, if you are asking when is the right time in the course of a new friendship/relationship to ask if the person dates someone of a different color, the time is when the question needs an answer. Obviously its now.

Just ask her out. If she says yes, its because she likes you, not because of what color you are.

stop fussing. Dating is suppose to be fun. You are swooning over her. Stop looking for pitfalls and just ask her out...

Hey its too late, and yeah I am crushing even more inspite of myself, but thank you cause you are right. No logical reason not to ask anybody I like to go out with me. Unless the convo is so amazing and deep that I'd be afraid of making it weird or uncomfy...everybody else feels a person out for more than a week before dating right? Do people date the same as back when I used to get asked on a date? The only fuss is how my screen looks better edited than it actually is.

[La Perla]

Hi Dragonfly,
I have found that honestly just adoring someone for who they are as a person, and not worrying about color and culture go a long way. When I hear the phrase "white elephant" it sounds like you expect relating to a person from another culture, to be an issue. Or that there is going to be something to work out. I sense it is out of nervousness of a new experience, but that mindset creates an unnecessary barrier. Take a deep breath and enjoy the opportunity of getting to know and appreciate the PERSON for who they are.

Everyone enjoys honest attention, and interest. Approach a friend from a culture that's new to you: with respect, listen, have an open mind an open heart, then enjoy and share. It really can be that simple. Embrace them, look for common ground.

La Perla

[Apocalipstic]

I am not shy, so bear with me please .

Do you think it would be easier to be rejected because of skin color than because the person is just not interested in you?

I am not sure what kind of person you are attracted to, but I learned a long time ago to let people I am interested in know I am interested in a non-threatening way. No guessing games...I just ask them if they would like to hang out sometime or I ask for their email address or somehow make sure they know it's OK to ask Me out.

Because really, it does not matter who they usually date, it matters if they are attracted to you.

I would not have had/have the relationships I have had if I had not just sucked it up and made the first move. I like very masculine Butches and many of them can be a bit...well...clueless unless I make it known I like them.

[Dragonfly]

Originally Posted by Organicbutch

I've never dated outside of my race, I always date humans. However I have dated people that were a different color from me or have come from different cultures, even different countries. I have never had a problem, it has never been an issue. I guess I don't attract people that would even think to have to ask if I would date them because they are a certain color. I would rather not associate with people that limit themselves as far as skin color or culture goes because we won't have much in common as friends or otherwise. That could be me being narrow minded but I don't care.

I really love the way you worded this post. Thank you!