The Never-Ending Bathroom Debate

bright_arrow · 09-28-2010, 03:41 PM

When boi and I are out and about, I go with. I can't say I notice anyone giving hym looks but then again I walk ahead of hym and engage hym in conversation (hy may look masculine but hy doesn't sound it) while we walk in. When we're coming home from Jersey hy's often still in uniform so no one really takes a second look.

I guess the way I see it is there is nothing keeping a man out of the women's restroom if he was determined to come in, not really. I assume when I see someone resembling a female appearance that they have every right to be in the restroom, and frankly, I don't care. As long as you're not trying to share my stall with me, go for it!

SuperFemme · 09-28-2010, 04:07 PM

i make the person i am married to go to the garage.
so i can use the facilities.

yanno?

somethings i need to do alone.

my utopia are those "family" bathrooms.

one room, door locks, and nobody is listening to how you you pee. or worse....

bright_arrow · 09-28-2010, 04:13 PM

ETA: Apologies, I didn't realize the thread category I was in, my .02 doesn't quite apply now

SuperFemme · 09-28-2010, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desdansmoncoeur

ETA: Apologies, I didn't realize the thread category I was in, my .02 doesn't quite apply now

don't you find your voice as SOFFA has a place here?

I am stting in hospital right now so I am not getting too deep.

They ways I have had my personal safefty compromised by doing my human shield act are pretty awful.

it's a big issue.

bright_arrow · 09-28-2010, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

don't you find your voice as SOFFA has a place here?

I am stting in hospital right now so I am not getting too deep.

They ways I have had my personal safefty compromised by doing my human shield act are pretty awful.

it's a big issue.

When you put it that way, you have a point, I just didn't want to derail or offend being in the 'wrong' thread as my partner is butch-id'd, that's all.

~ desd, aka soothesayer/peacekeeper

theoddz · 09-28-2010, 04:33 PM

Adele, I too am a "family bathroom" enthusiast. I promise, that if you and Cal should come to visit at Casa Theo, you will have your very own "privy room". One room, one door, one lock.

----------------------------------

That said.....

Before T, and before I began to pass 100% of the time, I had the most horrible anxiety about using a public restroom. I'd hold it and wait until I got home, even if it meant having to drive across town to my home. Many, MANY times....more than I can count, had I (prior to transition) been called down, usually by XY males for heading in to the ladies' room. It was always....always....a nervous, angsty experience for me.

Now, I must say this. I've been out with a couple of fabulous and fiercely protective Femmes....some from this site, and they have done a *fabulous* job of running interference for me while I dashed into a Ladies' room to pee when I just couldn't hold it any longer. Let me tell you....a guy couldn't ask for a more stalwart, fearless ally than those beautiful women who had my back in these situations. I'm sure my bladder has escaped irreparable damage through the good graces and formidable courage of these lovely Ladies!!! G-d love you Ladies, one and all, for standing up for us and letting us and our potential harassers/adversaries know that they were going to be a force to reckon with, if anyone dared to harass us for our gender presentation.

I've seen so many posts here on this web site, and on the others, from non trans folks who want to congratulate us transfolk for our "courage" in walking the world the way we do, but let me tell you....and this is speaking from my heart about my past, that having good allies who aren't afraid to step forward and "have our backs" made all the difference to this guy.

I knew from the day I read Medusa's "Ode To The Butches" that I was finally home with this community and that there were others who not only understood but would advocate (and celebrate) guys/people like me who never fit in anywhere else and live outside of gender "norms".

A person can never know what small thing will touch another's life in a most profound way. Finding this community touched mine. Oh, and 'Dusa??? If you read this, THANK YOU....again.

~Theo~

.....lovin' on our allies.

Ryobi · 09-29-2010, 12:23 AM

I'm sure everyone knows the song, "Dream Police" by Cheap Trick. I have changed a few words to the start and sing it at work all the time. Everyone knows when I have to pee.
"The Pee Police, they're always lookin at me.
The Pee Police, they wanna know how I pee."

This came about when I was outed at work by "friends"/co workers. (everyone knew I'm queer. They didn't know what kind of queer because, I had just actualized it myself. And to make knives bigger, I got these 2 "friends"/assholes their job. Another story, another thread.) Anyway,
When this happened, I started to notice that a few people were watching what bathroom I went into. So, because of my love to fuck with people, I started using whichever one was closest. They acted like they would know everything about me just by which bathroom I used. At one venue, this got somewhat heated because we can only use the locker rooms. This meant that a lot more people than just my co-workers used these restrooms. Long story short, I now have access to the unisex bathroom by the Mgt. offices. I didn't ask for it but, I do use it. One of the upper ups talked to me about the situation, then gave me that access. He's cool and very understanding. At another venue I work at, there are unisex bathrooms except for the dressing rooms. A mix of uni and not through out the building. When I have to pee there, a few of the guys are still hung up about the bathroom situation. (5 frickin years later) I of course, use the unisex ones, on a break, with a bunch of people around. In the last 5 years, I have never exited one of those bathrooms without leaving the seat up. No matter what I do while I'm in there, I make sure the seat is up when I leave. (no urinals, just a toilet and sink) The ignorant are confused. The informed are amused. (I do talk with people about TG issues. Most I work with are cool about it. Some are at least educated enough to be respectful. A few will always not care to be human.)

The Pee Police, they're always lookin at me.
The Pee Police, they wanna know how I pee.

Oh, I too love the family or uni bathrooms. More and more places here have them. And, if I can help it, I'll hold it until I get home if one of those isn't available.

Glenn · 09-29-2010, 09:14 PM

[QUOTE=Ryobi;199930] I have never exited one of those bathrooms without leaving the seat up. No matter what I do while I'm in there, I make sure the seat is up when I leave. (no urinals, just a toilet and sink)

But why? (Here's another issue) Would'nt the females prefer the seat down lol?

The wave of the future in public and corporate bathroom design seems to be moving in the direction of doorless stalls, and wider and deeper walls. We're trying to open them up to appease the pee police

09-28-2010, 04:33 PM	#6
theoddz Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Cranky Old Poop Preferred Pronoun?: Mr. Beast Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Texas Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,111 Thanked 9,928 Times in 2,508 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Adele, I too am a "family bathroom" enthusiast. I promise, that if you and Cal should come to visit at Casa Theo, you will have your very own "privy room". One room, one door, one lock. ---------------------------------- That said..... Before T, and before I began to pass 100% of the time, I had the most horrible anxiety about using a public restroom. I'd hold it and wait until I got home, even if it meant having to drive across town to my home. Many, MANY times....more than I can count, had I (prior to transition) been called down, usually by XY males for heading in to the ladies' room. It was always....always....a nervous, angsty experience for me. Now, I must say this. I've been out with a couple of fabulous and fiercely protective Femmes....some from this site, and they have done a fabulous job of running interference for me while I dashed into a Ladies' room to pee when I just couldn't hold it any longer. Let me tell you....a guy couldn't ask for a more stalwart, fearless ally than those beautiful women who had my back in these situations. I'm sure my bladder has escaped irreparable damage through the good graces and formidable courage of these lovely Ladies!!! G-d love you Ladies, one and all, for standing up for us and letting us and our potential harassers/adversaries know that they were going to be a force to reckon with, if anyone dared to harass us for our gender presentation. I've seen so many posts here on this web site, and on the others, from non trans folks who want to congratulate us transfolk for our "courage" in walking the world the way we do, but let me tell you....and this is speaking from my heart about my past, that having good allies who aren't afraid to step forward and "have our backs" made all the difference to this guy. I knew from the day I read Medusa's "Ode To The Butches" that I was finally home with this community and that there were others who not only understood but would advocate (and celebrate) guys/people like me who never fit in anywhere else and live outside of gender "norms". A person can never know what small thing will touch another's life in a most profound way. Finding this community touched mine. Oh, and 'Dusa??? If you read this, THANK YOU....again. *~Theo~* .....lovin' on our allies. __________________ *"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."* -- J. R. R. Tolkien

09-29-2010, 12:23 AM	#7
Ryobi Member How Do You Identify?: TG Stone Butch. Over all, I identify by living my life. Preferred Pronoun?: He/His Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Upper Midwest Posts: 633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 683 Thanked 1,238 Times in 357 Posts Rep Power: 12468328	I'm sure everyone knows the song, "Dream Police" by Cheap Trick. I have changed a few words to the start and sing it at work all the time. Everyone knows when I have to pee. "The Pee Police, they're always lookin at me. The Pee Police, they wanna know how I pee." This came about when I was outed at work by "friends"/co workers. (everyone knew I'm queer. They didn't know what kind of queer because, I had just actualized it myself. And to make knives bigger, I got these 2 "friends"/assholes their job. Another story, another thread.) Anyway, When this happened, I started to notice that a few people were watching what bathroom I went into. So, because of my love to fuck with people, I started using whichever one was closest. They acted like they would know everything about me just by which bathroom I used. At one venue, this got somewhat heated because we can only use the locker rooms. This meant that a lot more people than just my co-workers used these restrooms. Long story short, I now have access to the unisex bathroom by the Mgt. offices. I didn't ask for it but, I do use it. One of the upper ups talked to me about the situation, then gave me that access. He's cool and very understanding. At another venue I work at, there are unisex bathrooms except for the dressing rooms. A mix of uni and not through out the building. When I have to pee there, a few of the guys are still hung up about the bathroom situation. (5 frickin years later) I of course, use the unisex ones, on a break, with a bunch of people around. In the last 5 years, I have never exited one of those bathrooms without leaving the seat up. No matter what I do while I'm in there, I make sure the seat is up when I leave. (no urinals, just a toilet and sink) The ignorant are confused. The informed are amused. (I do talk with people about TG issues. Most I work with are cool about it. Some are at least educated enough to be respectful. A few will always not care to be human.) The Pee Police, they're always lookin at me. The Pee Police, they wanna know how I pee. Oh, I too love the family or uni bathrooms. More and more places here have them. And, if I can help it, I'll hold it until I get home if one of those isn't available. __________________ "If you can't do great things, do small things in a great way" Napoleon Hill. "To choose a word is to choose a world" Anonymous

09-28-2010, 03:41 PM	#1
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: nor cal Posts: 2,910 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,644 Thanked 9,363 Times in 2,296 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	When boi and I are out and about, I go with. I can't say I notice anyone giving hym looks but then again I walk ahead of hym and engage hym in conversation (hy may look masculine but hy doesn't sound it) while we walk in. When we're coming home from Jersey hy's often still in uniform so no one really takes a second look. I guess the way I see it is there is nothing keeping a man out of the women's restroom if he was determined to come in, not really. I assume when I see someone resembling a female appearance that they have every right to be in the restroom, and frankly, I don't care. As long as you're not trying to share my stall with me, go for it!

09-28-2010, 04:07 PM	#2
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	i make the person i am married to go to the garage. so i can use the facilities. yanno? somethings i need to do alone. my utopia are those "family" bathrooms. one room, door locks, and nobody is listening to how you you pee. or worse....

09-28-2010, 04:13 PM	#3
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: nor cal Posts: 2,910 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,644 Thanked 9,363 Times in 2,296 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	ETA: Apologies, I didn't realize the thread category I was in, my .02 doesn't quite apply now

09-29-2010, 09:14 PM	#8
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dear ol butch bones. Preferred Pronoun?: Old G Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,601 Thanked 3,729 Times in 1,095 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	[QUOTE=Ryobi;199930] I have never exited one of those bathrooms without leaving the seat up. No matter what I do while I'm in there, I make sure the seat is up when I leave. (no urinals, just a toilet and sink) But why? (Here's another issue) Would'nt the females prefer the seat down lol? The wave of the future in public and corporate bathroom design seems to be moving in the direction of doorless stalls, and wider and deeper walls. We're trying to open them up to appease the pee police