Personal Space -- In Your Face

[dale2555]

Originally Posted by Jude

Wondering if I'm just socially atypical............. What is the level of your need for personal space? Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine? Do crowds ever overwhelm you? How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)? The hug from a mere acquaintance?

This is wholly apart from sexual intimacy - talking physical, personal space here; not even about emotional need for space. (That may be my next query!)

With family, and this includes my friends who have meshed into family through the years, I rarely feel the need to pull back. With anyone else, there is a definitive line drawn and any push over that line is received with my physically stepping back to regain my necessary distance. How much distance is determined by who that person is and the context of the situation.

I have recently been told that I am an "in your face person" and this surprised me. Never saw myself that way. I asked a friend who has known me a long time and she said yes. However when I asked for clarification, she said I get in people's faces when I find their behavior or conversation offensive, which is totally different from the discussion here.

I am a touchy, feely person with those I care for and enjoy being touched by them. However, to be thought of as someone who doesn't sense anothers "personal space" has given me pause. Not saying I feel horrible about it, but I will be more attentive to it now.

[DomnNC]

Strangers I keep at arms length. I find it totally inappropriate for someone I don't know to be hugging on me, touching on me or getting in my face, as someone else said in that situation a handshake is the appropriate thing to do, in my opinion anyway. My family and close friends, I have no problem with hugging me, touching me etcetcetc.

As far as outdoor events, those things don't bother me, I just make sure I'm aware who is close to me and keep whomever is with me close to me as well. It's just a matter of personal safety nowadays.

[weatherboi]

hi folks!!!

What is the level of your need for personal space? Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine? Do crowds ever overwhelm you? How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)? The hug from a mere acquaintance?


my level of personal space is dictated by the type of energy that surrounds me or approaches me. i was born with something that attracts predators(good and bad) and i have been painfully and blissfully aware of this since i was very very young.

i crave touch and when i lack in being touched my physical tick emerges...my parents weren't touchy, weren't emotional and lacked kindness.waiting in line and hugs don't bother me. i mean, hug or handshake away, it doesn't matter because i am gonna read/feel that persons energy whether i want to or not. sometimes they can energize me and sometimes they can drain me to where i need a nap after the exchange. everybody hugs differently and i am ok with that.



navigating crowds is really just a matter of waiting and deflecting. i used to get overwhelmed when i was younger until i learned to block people and their energy. now i just remain alert and anticipate, especially when i am out with my Ms and loved ones.

[Julie]

Personal space is dictated by my mood, and this can change from touch me to get the hell away from me in an instant. I am a recluse... I do not like people very much, especially in my space. Though, I love humanity and work for it. If I never have to leave my home, it is huge which is why I work at home - I don't have to see people.

I grew up with parents who were part of the "love" generation (60's hippies) and grew up with intense beautiful touch. A family bed, where we could sleep whenever we chose. I touch my children whenever I can. My partners, well - they can suffer from my coldness, if I go there. I am not sure where it comes from. It is not how I grew up and I think I should to therapy. Serious!

If you are invited into my home - it will become your home and you will be loved. You probably will be touched if you are in my home, because I love you and have invited you there. I will probably even tuck you in when its time to say goodnight (well maybe not, but I will want too). If I have invited you into my home, it is because I trust you.

I am having a hard time with this thread, writing - because people see me as all warm and bubbly - friendly... Especially because of my work. And I am all of those things, but it is really hard and scary for me to put myself out there.

I do not like to travel for work, it scares me - because then I have to be in spaces I have no control over. I need my space - I do not like having to put a smile on my face. Same with personal travel - out of my element and really hard for me. It shocks me still, as I sit here in Australia that I have left and am here - out of my space and element.

It's four in the morning for GOD SAKE and what am I DOING UP? I should probably re-read what I wrote, but I am not going too. I should be snuggled in bed with this other human being who craves touch (at least mine).

Oh... I am really good at warning prospective partners, that I come with major issues attached to my being. I am not sure why I warn them, except to say - maybe they will leave me alone. Those that don't - usually get me. And then I tend to feel really bad for them. I generally spend the next amount of years apologizing for my behavior.

It's 4am and my brain is not working so well.

[TickledPink]

I love me time! It's important to me to soak up the silence and gain energy from its source. I can still have music flowing and be in silence. I can still have my pack around me and be in silence.

Total me time would consist of being in a candle-lit room, aromatherapy and some good ole meditating. Or a hot bath with some good-smelling bubbles! It's amazing what it can do for your psyche!

As for crowds, they bother me more in my old age. I loathe Wal-Mart and anywhere I have to stand in line. Folks like to strike up a convo with me for no reason. Total strangers open up to me and I'm always left going, WTF?

However, I'm a hugger! I can't help it! I mean, I wouldn't just hug a stranger or let said stranger touch me. I don't care for anyone being in my face or touching my face period. But I love some hugs

[Apocalipstic]

It freaks me out for people to stand behind me, and I really like large personal space unless I am really comfortable with the person and in a calm mood.