Personal Space -- In Your Face

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Jude

Wondering if I'm just socially atypical............. What is the level of your need for personal space?

I needed it heavily, I like being alone, it's never been a deep issue for me. I do know it's not healthy. Without getting into details- I did not come from a household where there was a lot of touching or hugging matter of fact it was rare, so I was literally not imprinted to be this way, so with that came the need and like of just being alone. Which by the way is hard when you start having kids, cause my kids are all about their senses and needed to be touched. I was lucky enough to have found Mentors and well there was my Sir and he broke me real quick because he knew how unhealthy it is and I am grateful for that.



Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine?

It makes me cringe, my walls go up, and I get tense..

Do crowds ever overwhelm you?

Yes, but I am pretty good at deflecting people's energies off and sticking to my own space if need to.

How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)?

Yeah unless I know them or trust them I tend to move in a circular fashion so I can see all angles.


The hug from a mere acquaintance?

Way back in the day, I would back away from a hug, this I found out is rude and not ok (therapy) so I extend my hand out first, I have met a lot of people that are like oh no we hug, and this is what I have learned.

Hugs are great, (sometimes) and you can feel a lot about a person through a hat, they are full of love, concern, affection and some hugs are like sugar cookies and Christmas. I know sounds fucked up and all Sandra Lee but I am sharing my experiences.

This is wholly apart from sexual intimacy - talking physical, personal space here; not even about emotional need for space. (That may be my next query!)

I still tend to like my alone time, I like to be quiet for days, it's hard to manuever if you are partnered or friends with people who don't get it or take it or make it about them. I am honest right away about how I am or can be, I am slow to brew it's not going to change.

I'm at a cross roads right now in my life because of current events, I see myself teeter totering between going into recluse to not. It's been hard to find an even balance and I can feel I am not as open to being to close with people. I know enough about myself to work it out and find a healthy balance, but it's hard cause when you are someone who is guarded there are events or experiences that will make one want to go back to old habits and those old habits well they make for a touchless existence. I know I gotta keep working on this though.