Friends of Bill W.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Originally Posted by PearlsNLace

Hungry.. no
Angry... a little. Frustrated certainly
Lonely... no. Thank you for the help I got today, thanks for the connections and support and advice and stuff today
Tired. YES.

Im off to bed.

I have a need for 2 good ways to relieve stress.
1)for when my coworkers are having a smoke break, cause Im not a smoker, but I do need to chill the hell out in a drama ridden work place

2) this is a critical need- I need to find a way to relax after a frellin hard day at work, when Ive got a huge project at home, that doesnt take a WHOLE lot of time, is enjoyable and not very expensive. Because I need a good replacement activity for that feeling of "god what a day, Im gonna go home and have a beer".

Things I have tried- for number 1) deep breathing. Reading inspirational stuff. taking a short walk.
for number 2) going to a meeting. having a shower. playing with the dogs. doing service work.

These sometimes work. I am still looking for healthy and enjoyable de stress activities. Thanks

This may sound juvenile, maybe juvenile, but I have found there is a game here in the ButchFemmePlanet arcade that helps me loosen up, it's called WoW Connect, I play it once a day whether I need it or not.....I read somewhere that these type of games keep Alzheimers and other mental degradations from occurring. I don't know if that's true, but I use it to justify my playing of this game.....

I don't know if this is any help to you, but it sure is nice to see you here, thanks for posting!

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

November 1



Entrenched

I have dug myself a trench and invited my friends and family. Truth is, I drug many and tricked others and there they are in the trench I have so recently climbed out of. It is a nasty place and I feel horribly responsible, but here is the sacred truth; I can’t climb down there again, not even on a rescue mission. I am obligated to help them, this is for sure, but the fact still remains that it is not safe to get into the water with a drowning person, even if I am the one who caused the drowning. If I am to be of any help at all I must get my footing and keep it safely on the bank and only then might I be able to throw down a rope or lend a hand to anyone, especially those I love. I pray for the sturdy stance of helpful strangers and try my best to cause no further harm, more than that will have to wait until my cleats are soundly lodged into the earth and my head is squarely upon my shoulders, for headlong and mud covered I am no help.







Topple trivial towers



*


MY MOTHERS FACE

The way that age pours down my mothers face
When she is sad reminds me
That grief runs through my blood.

Generation after generation
Has been transfused with anxious woe.
Heartbreak vexes minds full of fear.
There is no easy way
To round the bend on sharp pointed issues
The route is circuitous.

I battle the chaotic thinking to fight my way back
To a place where my mothers eyes sparkle
As they squint closed with her smile.
The war of peace is not easily won by contemporaries.
We must close ranks between the ages
To keep the joy from sheeting off our skin
And keep the sadness in proportion.

Restore us to our possible bliss
We can over take ecstasy from there.

[LeftWriteFemme]

November 2



Desert Island


When I am left to amuse myself, more often than not I turn my wicked wit to redress those whose neglect I sorely feel. This is childish. This is pointless and yet I do it and do it well. I am, too good at being alone and I resent it and resent every necessity for honing that skill set. When in the past I have made my mind up to accept seclusion each overture is a slashing intrusion. I am not a happy medium, though I do doubt if such a thing exists. I am an attention seeker when I am not I am an isolation monger. The wavering nature of human interaction is an uncertain sea for me, alternating downing me or leaving me washed- up on some remote shore. Even amid those I love the most, I am a skinless writhing neonate, hyper-reactive and living on the edge. I somehow know the answer is self-esteem or spiritual development, but when in the midst of this imprudent reaction the paths to these are lost. I try to hold my breath when underwater, when on the beach I try not to breathe the sand. If I survive today I may grow out of this tomorrow.






Make peace with your pillow before bedtime


*

DESERVING

Tender toes crushed by moving memories
Fresh pain from ancient injuries
Shock incurred from these lifeless reminiscence
Unhappy reconstructions slap inspecting faces.

The people who stood by
To let the chips fall where they may
Try to pretend innocent bystanders now
That shit is falling from the sky.

Unexposed skin will burn when the flames leap high
Idiotic excuses will not retard the fire
Of injustice coming to call
Too late tears carry no freight with the past recipients
Of the “It all runs down hill” award.

Cowards make themselves cripples
And fracture at the force of incoming reality
And deserve more than they get.