Differently Abled (fly your freak flag high)

[SuperFemme]

Can Sel puh-lease stop stealing my high scores. It makes me want to spank her with my good arm.

[Selenay]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Can Sel puh-lease stop stealing my high scores. It makes me want to spank her with my good arm.

I'm sorry Miss Super. I have taken a voluntary break from the arcade for the past week. I promise to keep it up and not win anything new until New Years. That should give you a whole week in which you can be The Best.

I hope this pleases you

If it doesn't you can spank me, cuz I'm game for that.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I just saw this thread today. I had no idea it was here. I had started another one long ago...what do I do?

Andrew

[SuperFemme]

Differently Abled and bridging the communication gap....

I know that there are several of us who are oft misread in this format. For *Me* having a Brain Injury can lead to impulsive responses coupled with tangential thinking. What I mean by that is I can go into a thread about Tomatoes, which makes me think of salads or Italian Food, which may or may not remind me of my bad date with a cannoli. I tend to take readers on a round about journey with me that can lead to head scratching and offended posters who think I am not being serious.

When I am reacted to with anger or animosity I tend to want to lash out on the same level. Sitting on my hands is an art form.

So how can we we bridge this gap? I think work on both sides must happen. It's one thing to say "Hey, I am differently-abled" and an entirely different thing to say "Because of my different-abledness, I am often impulsive and tangential. If doing so has upset you and confused you please pm me so we can talk about it".

I wish we had a little icon like a handi-cap placard we could place in our profile that is visible so that other posters have some kind of indication.

Thoughts anyone? How do we as Differently-abled going to be proactive?

[Corkey]

I have a question please? I am differently abled, physically, not thru a brain trauma, is this thread only for those of the community who have brain traumas? I ask cause I don't want to step on anyones space.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Corkey

I have a question please? I am differently abled, physically, not thru a brain trauma, is this thread only for those of the community who have brain traumas? I ask cause I don't want to step on anyones space.

No Corkey you belong here. When I speak from the Me place it ends up being in relation to brain trauma because that is part of my differently-abledness.

My physical limitations come into play as well because when I am in pain, or on chemo it affects me and how I engage with the world around me.

My goal is to make sure that we all (no matter the nature of the different-ablility) are heard and part of a community that is inclusive to us all. That is a new undertaking in the online community IMO.

So welcome to the thread. Share. About anything you want to. This is a safe place where you (general you) can laugh, cry, and share about navigating planet earth and the butchfemmeplanet while being different.

[Corkey]

Thank you, for the inclusion I appreciate that.
I still find it ironic that abled bodied people see my cane and not the person, and they park in disabled parking and run into the store, while I'm left looking for the next closest parking spot.
Chaps my ass to no end.
The newest peeve is when I'm using the stores mobile chair, and cart pushers think it's easier for me to back up than it is for them to stop, wait and then go around me. Those chairs don't stop on a dime ya' know!
Thanks for a place to rant....end rant.

[Lady Jewel]

Please forgive the long post....So I just read through this thread for the first time. With some trepidation, I will share what makes me "differently-abled". Its funny that I found this thread today as my daughter and I were having a conversation about me and my health today and how it has affected AND helped us. I'm crying as I share this story because it really is a story of triumph but also some sadness for me.

Ariel (My 16 year old daughter. My only child. My hope for the future and reason for living) and I were talking to today and I started telling her stories about herself from when she was in my belly to the present. We laughed. I cried, as I am now in the retelling of this encounter today. I must digress for a moment so that when I share what I said to Ariel, will make sense. My life as I know it, pretty much went to hell when I was 39. I am now 48. I was partnered. I had a job I loved. Was at the top of my game and never thought it would end. It started out with blinding headaches and neck pain. I went and saw everyone until the ENT told me it was in my jaw and needed to go see an Oral Surgeon who was also an MD. This Doctor, my hero, was known as the best Oral Surgeon in Vegas. Did all the diagnostic tests, Yada yada. Came back that the disc in my jaw had all but turned to powder due to arthritis and degenerative disc disease. Soooo..I went on leave from work. Went to the hospital and had reconstructive jaw surgery. The blinding pain I had was gone almost instantly. Went for the PT. Worked my ass off and was able to go back to work shortly afterwards. In subsequent months, I started having shooting pain down my arm into my hands. I thought it was Carpal Tunnel and started wearing a brace. A month goes by and the pain gets worse. So one night I spent four hours bent over Ariels Girl Scout sash sewing badges onto it. Well that must have been the straw that broke the camels back. Woke up the next morning and had pain like my arms has gasoline poured on them and set on fire. Went to my PCP and he sent me to have MRIs of every body part. Turns out that 3/4 of my cervical spine had NO discs left between the vertebrae at all so I was basically bone on bone. Had to go thru a million (Well NOT that many, but certainly felt like it) painful diagnostic tests before surgery could be done. Well, nothing got better, only worse. I ended up having 3/4 of my cervical spine reconstructed. Woke up from surgery with NO pain. Yayyy!!!. Did the PT so I could regain the mobility in my neck. About five months later, the pain began again in earnest. Back to the orthopedist. Well, more bone spurs grew back and they had to re-do the entire surgery all over again. So Another surgery and another 5 days in the hospital, but this time I ended up in the ICU. Oh I forgot to mention between neck surgeries I travelled from Vegas to the University of Iowa, which has the number one orhtopedics program in the country , for a second opinion with an Orthopedist and a Rheumatologist. Diagnosis: Degenerative disc disease in my C-T-L-S spine. Degenerative arthritis. Some type of inflammatory autoimmune disease. Oh and one of the worst cases of Fibromyalgia the Rheumatologist has ever seen. Soooo...Got through the second surgery, About 7 months later, the pain in my lower back became unbearable, and yup, you guessed it...another two surgeries on my lower back. Came out of that in a wheelchair with the prognosis that I would always need that powerchair. I called bullshit on that. Yeah I needed for a while, but fought my way out of that one. One of the wonderful legacys that the surgery left me, was the Vascualr surgeon damaged the lymp nodes in my abdomen which gave me Bi-lateral lower limb lymphedema. My legs were so filled with fluid that the girth was 27 inches around my ankles. So in my handy dandy wheelchair that I was still in, I took the Paratransit bus to the lymphedema clinic three times a week. In the middle o very hot Las Vegas weather. part of the treatment consisted of three layers of special bandages from my thigh to my toes. Real nice in 117 degree weather. Finally got the lymphedema under control. Yayy!! LOL. Decided Ariel and I needed girls day out. Took my powerchair and Ariel on the Paratransit to one of the casinos that had a movie theater. We had brunch. Went and saw a few movies and had a great time. Paratransit come to get us. Loads me and my chair onto the bus and proceeds to speed throu the parking lot at 45 mph. Flys over a speedbump, he had strapped the wheelchair I was sitting in wrong and I flipped backwards. Hurting my neck and back. Spent about a year in treatment trying to get over the injuries I sustained. And believe it or not, I smiled through all this and really did a good job moving on. Fast forward two years, my partner of almost nine years calls it quits. Same day as I was diagnosed with steroid induced diabetes. Soooo...she went her way. Ariel and I got a new place. My new life was set to begin. One week to the day we moved, I decided to go meet Ariel at the bus stop because my car needed a new alternator and was not going to be fixed till that night. As I was walking to get her, an old man in a truck wayyyy tooo big for him, ran me over. Backed up and hit me again. I still dont get that. Poor Ariel was passing by on the bus and saw her mama get hit. It was awful. I was under the truck waiting for the ambulance and I could hear Ariel screaming. Was taken to the hospital. Basically hurt my arm, shoulder, lower back and neck. Yet another thing to get through. Which I did. The massage therapist I was sent to after the accident to help with spasms used to tell people that were in the waiting room, "Look at this woman. She has been through more in 9 years than 10 people should go through in a lifetime. She always has a kind word, a smile and hug for me and anyone she feels needs it". So I always felt that maybe that was the Universal reason I needed to go through all this stuff. To make people see that even in sadness and pain, that there can be happiness.
Ok, so back to the conversation Ariel and I were having today.....We were talking about how lucky she was that she wasnt a latchkey kid. That she always had me home when she needed me. How I was so available to her. And I reminded her that the only reason that I was able to do that was because of all the surgeries and health issues. She asked me if I could change that, not have all this stuff, would I. I thought about it for all of two seconds and replied, "Honey, I wouldnt trade ALL this pain and aggravation EVER. It was through all of this crap that I was able to be here for you. Most kids will never know what it is like to have a parent around 24/7". She came over, hugged me tightly. "Mama, I love you so much".
So how lucky was I to have been blessed with ALLLLL this stuff? Ive never regretted it for a moment.

With all my love and support to the rest of you who fly your differently-abled freak flags.

[PearlsNLace]

A funny moment

So at a super bowl party there was this band playing, called "the who"
I didnt know who they were.
I also learned this week that the Rolling Stones are a band that is not related to the magazine in anyway, but I dont know what music they play.

This is only funny because apperantly these bands are quite big. I know this by the look of incredulity on my new boyfriends face as he discovers to what depth my hearing loss has allowed me to grow up in a media culture closet.

It was painfully emberrassing not all that long ago to learn that I was "supposed to know" who the Beatles were. I have at least an inkling now.

Its not painfully emberrassing anymore. The difference is that Im held in love and understanding. Patience and appreciation. And my experiences, being different, are valued. It gets to be funny. I get to look forward to a later exposure to new things now that there is you tube lyrics and special headphones that help drowned out excess sound and highlight voices. Movies and music both are something Im slowly exploring.

Ive lived 35 years without it though, and its ok that Im not rushing to "fix" my lack of understanding. WOW.

It makes a difference. I get to enjoy the humor of it all because im not veiwed as broken. I hope I remember that, as I take care of my patients every day. Cause this acceptance of me as whole- wow what a gift. I want to give that gift to others.

[SuperFemme]

Thank you so much for this amazing post. You are a superhero Miss Jewel.
I have to admit that a few years after my accident I was able to look at it as a gift. I went from being a single momma working 80+ hours a week to being at home with the kids all the time.

My anger left my body and I focused on the blessings that came with it.

For those of us who are able to do that? To pull ourselves out of the "Why me" mindset I find that we have a much better chance at living a differently abled life infused with genuine happiness. That is key to survival and every day living.

So just. Thanks. Ariel is a very lucky girl indeed to have you for a Momma.

Originally Posted by Lady Jewel

Please foirgivSo I just read through this thread for the first time. With some trepidation, I will share what makes me "differently-abled". Its funny that I found this thread today as my daughter and I were having a conversation about me and my health today and how it has affected AND helped us. I'm crying as I share this story because it really is a story of triumph but also some sadness for me.

Ariel (My 16 year old daughter. My only child. My hope for the future and reason for living) and I were talking to today and I started telling her stories about herself from when she was in my belly to the present. We laughed. I cried, as I am now in the retelling of this encounter today. I must digress for a moment so that when I share what I said to Ariel, will make sense. My life as I know it, pretty much went to hell when I was 39. I am now 48. I was partnered. I had a job I loved. Was at the top of my game and never thought it would end. It started out with blinding headaches and neck pain. I went and saw everyone until the ENT told me it was in my jaw and needed to go see an Oral Surgeon who was also an MD. This Doctor, my hero, was known as the best Oral Surgeon in Vegas. Did all the diagnostic tests, Yada yada. Came back that the disc in my jaw had all but turned to powder due to arthritis and degenerative disc disease. Soooo..I went on leave from work. Went to the hospital and had reconstructive jaw surgery. The blinding pain I had was gone almost instantly. Went for the PT. Worked my ass off and was able to go back to work shortly afterwards. In subsequent months, I started having shooting pain down my arm into my hands. I thought it was Carpal Tunnel and started wearing a brace. A month goes by and the pain gets worse. So one night I spent four hours bent over Ariels Girl Scout sash sewing badges onto it. Well that must have been the straw that broke the camels back. Woke up the next morning and had pain like my arms has gasoline poured on them and set on fire. Went to my PCP and he sent me to have MRIs of every body part. Turns out that 3/4 of my cervical spine had NO discs left between the vertebrae at all so I was basically bone on bone. Had to go thru a million (Well NOT that many, but certainly felt like it) painful diagnostic tests before surgery could be done. Well, nothing got better, only worse. I ended up having 3/4 of my cervical spine reconstructed. Woke up from surgery with NO pain. Yayyy!!!. Did the PT so I could regain the mobility in my neck. About five months later, the pain began again in earnest. Back to the orthopedist. Well, more bone spurs grew back and they had to re-do the entire surgery all over again. So Another surgery and another 5 days in the hospital, but this time I ended up in the ICU. Oh I forgot to mention between neck surgeries I travelled from Vegas to the University of Iowa, which has the number one orhtopedics program in the country , for a second opinion with an Orthopedist and a Rheumatologist. Diagnosis: Degenerative disc disease in my C-T-L-S spine. Degenerative arthritis. Some type of inflammatory autoimmune disease. Oh and one of the worst cases of Fibromyalgia the Rheumatologist has ever seen. Soooo...Got through the second surgery, About 7 months later, the pain in my lower back became unbearable, and yup, you guessed it...another two surgeries on my lower back. Came out of that in a wheelchair with the prognosis that I would always need that powerchair. I called bullshit on that. Yeah I needed for a while, but fought my way out of that one. One of the wonderful legacys that the surgery left me, was the Vascualr surgeon damaged the lymp nodes in my abdomen which gave me Bi-lateral lower limb lymphedema. My legs were so filled with fluid that the girth was 27 inches around my ankles. So in my handy dandy wheelchair that I was still in, I took the Paratransit bus to the lymphedema clinic three times a week. In the middle o very hot Las Vegas weather. part of the treatment consisted of three layers of special bandages from my thigh to my toes. Real nice in 117 degree weather. Finally got the lymphedema under control. Yayy!! LOL. Decided Ariel and I needed girls day out. Took my powerchair and Ariel on the Paratransit to one of the casinos that had a movie theater. We had brunch. Went and saw a few movies and had a great time. Paratransit come to get us. Loads me and my chair onto the bus and proceeds to speed throu the parking lot at 45 mph. Flys over a speedbump, he had strapped the wheelchair I was sitting in wrong and I flipped backwards. Hurting my neck and back. Spent about a year in treatment trying to get over the injuries I sustained. And believe it or not, I smiled through all this and really did a good job moving on. Fast forward two years, my partner of almost nine years calls it quits. Same day as I was diagnosed with steroid induced diabetes. Soooo...she went her way. Ariel and I got a new place. My new life was set to begin. One week to the day we moved, I decided to go meet Ariel at the bus stop because my car needed a new alternator and was not going to be fixed till that night. As I was walking to get her, an old man in a truck wayyyy tooo big for him, ran me over. Backed up and hit me again. I still dont get that. Poor Ariel was passing by on the bus and saw her mama get hit. It was awful. I was under the truck waiting for the ambulance and I could hear Ariel screaming. Was taken to the hospital. Basically hurt my arm, shoulder, lower back and neck. Yet another thing to get through. Which I did. The massage therapist I was sent to after the accident to help with spasms used to tell people that were in the waiting room, "Look at this woman. She has been through more in 9 years than 10 people should go through in a lifetime. She always has a kind word, a smile and hug for me and anyone she feels needs it". So I always felt that maybe that was the Universal reason I needed to go through all this stuff. To make people see that even in sadness and pain, that there can be happiness.
Ok, so back to the conversation Ariel and I were having today.....We were talking about how lucky she was that she wasnt a latchkey kid. That she always had me home when she needed me. How I was so available to her. And I reminded her that the only reason that I was able to do that was because of all the surgeries and health issues. She asked me if I could change that, not have all this stuff, would I. I thought about it for all of two seconds and replied, "Honey, I wouldnt trade ALL this pain and aggravation EVER. It was through all of this crap that I was able to be here for you. Most kids will never know what it is like to have a parent around 24/7". She came over, hugged me tightly. "Mama, I love you so much".
So how lucky was I to have been blessed with ALLLLL this stuff? Ive never regretted it for a moment.

With all my love and support to the rest of you who fly your differently-abled freak flags.

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by Lady Jewel

Please forgive the long post....So I just read through this thread for the first time. With some trepidation, I will share what makes me "differently-abled". Its funny that I found this thread today as my daughter and I were having a conversation about me and my health today and how it has affected AND helped us. I'm crying as I share this story because it really is a story of triumph but also some sadness for me.

Ariel (My 16 year old daughter. My only child. My hope for the future and reason for living) and I were talking to today and I started telling her stories about herself from when she was in my belly to the present. We laughed. I cried, as I am now in the retelling of this encounter today. I must digress for a moment so that when I share what I said to Ariel, will make sense. My life as I know it, pretty much went to hell when I was 39. I am now 48. I was partnered. I had a job I loved. Was at the top of my game and never thought it would end. It started out with blinding headaches and neck pain. I went and saw everyone until the ENT told me it was in my jaw and needed to go see an Oral Surgeon who was also an MD. This Doctor, my hero, was known as the best Oral Surgeon in Vegas. Did all the diagnostic tests, Yada yada. Came back that the disc in my jaw had all but turned to powder due to arthritis and degenerative disc disease. Soooo..I went on leave from work. Went to the hospital and had reconstructive jaw surgery. The blinding pain I had was gone almost instantly. Went for the PT. Worked my ass off and was able to go back to work shortly afterwards. In subsequent months, I started having shooting pain down my arm into my hands. I thought it was Carpal Tunnel and started wearing a brace. A month goes by and the pain gets worse. So one night I spent four hours bent over Ariels Girl Scout sash sewing badges onto it. Well that must have been the straw that broke the camels back. Woke up the next morning and had pain like my arms has gasoline poured on them and set on fire. Went to my PCP and he sent me to have MRIs of every body part. Turns out that 3/4 of my cervical spine had NO discs left between the vertebrae at all so I was basically bone on bone. Had to go thru a million (Well NOT that many, but certainly felt like it) painful diagnostic tests before surgery could be done. Well, nothing got better, only worse. I ended up having 3/4 of my cervical spine reconstructed. Woke up from surgery with NO pain. Yayyy!!!. Did the PT so I could regain the mobility in my neck. About five months later, the pain began again in earnest. Back to the orthopedist. Well, more bone spurs grew back and they had to re-do the entire surgery all over again. So Another surgery and another 5 days in the hospital, but this time I ended up in the ICU. Oh I forgot to mention between neck surgeries I travelled from Vegas to the University of Iowa, which has the number one orhtopedics program in the country , for a second opinion with an Orthopedist and a Rheumatologist. Diagnosis: Degenerative disc disease in my C-T-L-S spine. Degenerative arthritis. Some type of inflammatory autoimmune disease. Oh and one of the worst cases of Fibromyalgia the Rheumatologist has ever seen. Soooo...Got through the second surgery, About 7 months later, the pain in my lower back became unbearable, and yup, you guessed it...another two surgeries on my lower back. Came out of that in a wheelchair with the prognosis that I would always need that powerchair. I called bullshit on that. Yeah I needed for a while, but fought my way out of that one. One of the wonderful legacys that the surgery left me, was the Vascualr surgeon damaged the lymp nodes in my abdomen which gave me Bi-lateral lower limb lymphedema. My legs were so filled with fluid that the girth was 27 inches around my ankles. So in my handy dandy wheelchair that I was still in, I took the Paratransit bus to the lymphedema clinic three times a week. In the middle o very hot Las Vegas weather. part of the treatment consisted of three layers of special bandages from my thigh to my toes. Real nice in 117 degree weather. Finally got the lymphedema under control. Yayy!! LOL. Decided Ariel and I needed girls day out. Took my powerchair and Ariel on the Paratransit to one of the casinos that had a movie theater. We had brunch. Went and saw a few movies and had a great time. Paratransit come to get us. Loads me and my chair onto the bus and proceeds to speed throu the parking lot at 45 mph. Flys over a speedbump, he had strapped the wheelchair I was sitting in wrong and I flipped backwards. Hurting my neck and back. Spent about a year in treatment trying to get over the injuries I sustained. And believe it or not, I smiled through all this and really did a good job moving on. Fast forward two years, my partner of almost nine years calls it quits. Same day as I was diagnosed with steroid induced diabetes. Soooo...she went her way. Ariel and I got a new place. My new life was set to begin. One week to the day we moved, I decided to go meet Ariel at the bus stop because my car needed a new alternator and was not going to be fixed till that night. As I was walking to get her, an old man in a truck wayyyy tooo big for him, ran me over. Backed up and hit me again. I still dont get that. Poor Ariel was passing by on the bus and saw her mama get hit. It was awful. I was under the truck waiting for the ambulance and I could hear Ariel screaming. Was taken to the hospital. Basically hurt my arm, shoulder, lower back and neck. Yet another thing to get through. Which I did. The massage therapist I was sent to after the accident to help with spasms used to tell people that were in the waiting room, "Look at this woman. She has been through more in 9 years than 10 people should go through in a lifetime. She always has a kind word, a smile and hug for me and anyone she feels needs it". So I always felt that maybe that was the Universal reason I needed to go through all this stuff. To make people see that even in sadness and pain, that there can be happiness.
Ok, so back to the conversation Ariel and I were having today.....We were talking about how lucky she was that she wasnt a latchkey kid. That she always had me home when she needed me. How I was so available to her. And I reminded her that the only reason that I was able to do that was because of all the surgeries and health issues. She asked me if I could change that, not have all this stuff, would I. I thought about it for all of two seconds and replied, "Honey, I wouldnt trade ALL this pain and aggravation EVER. It was through all of this crap that I was able to be here for you. Most kids will never know what it is like to have a parent around 24/7". She came over, hugged me tightly. "Mama, I love you so much".
So how lucky was I to have been blessed with ALLLLL this stuff? Ive never regretted it for a moment.

With all my love and support to the rest of you who fly your differently-abled freak flags.

Lady,
You are truly a great inspiration! Blessings to you! May Great Spirit wrap you in love and peace. Aho.

[Blaze]

I can't believe I didn't find this thread sooooo way earlier!
I'm gonna raise my Flag. Let's see, I think it is now 7 or perhaps 8 yrs since my motorcycle accident. To which I don't remember, but was told how bad it really was. I was hit from the side by a semi, thrown a long distance and impaled by a tree branch through my skull. If not for a passer by driver, I most likely would have died.

I had went through rehab to learn to talk, walk, eat and all the other good things that come with rehab. I have lost much of my memory, sometimes I am lucky and one appears, but then I can't make a distinction of if it's mine or a movie. Either way, I have come to some grips and understanding, not taking it so hard as I use to. Being mean to my own self. Then taking it out on others.

Within the last 2 years I have been having seizures, doctor told me years ago that I would more than likely die from a blood clot loosening from my brain and heading towards my heart. I have been on all kinds of seizure medications, as well as alway taking the trial meds to see if they work. Sometimes work, sometimes it doubles the suizures. Right at this moment, I am on meds again to help reduce the blood clots in my brain. My most hated moments are the carrying a conversation then stopping in mid sentance and just staring. Pisses me off all the time. But my co-workers always cover for me. Oh well, before I bore you all, I will close with this thought....... We are better people that actually see our world in a new and different way.

Clotting away, Blaze

[Leigh]

we are ALL able

[Rockinonahigh]

Lady Pamela,dont give it a thought about the spelling,I have dislexia.I drop letters,forget names and absolutly nun to little concep of number without a calculater as well as droping out of convos for a bit cause I get like a vidio tape on static for a fue seconds..mostly under stress.U have no ideas how many times I check what I post but often I sitll dont catch the goofups.All is well hear for all of us.