The mortuary thread

[Ms. Tabitha]

Hey Andrew great thread!

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-ynU6aTzac"]YouTube- The Process of Modern Day Cremation Video 1 of 2[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DNletgSS34&feature=related"]YouTube- The Process of Modern Day Cremation Video 2 of 2[/ame]

I have dealt with death on so many different levels due to my career EMS and in the ER with traumatic and natural causes.
My A&P class had very little textbook use. Cadaver's were issued to us after the medical students finished with them.
To this day I still cannot stand the smell of mentholatum.

[Dean Thoreau]

I told the wife when I die...give every part of me away you can give away...Her response was..and what do I do with the leftovers?...........my reply was "surprise me!"

People seem to to feel we need to do some very expensive ritualistic things regarding death and said memorializing of the cremains, remains...
First embalming is not required....why would anyone opt to put more chemicals into the earth? and who the hell needs to dig u up in 40 years to see if your embalming has kpet you looking like what? dead?

Then there are the " underground cement vaults" you can buy one for 250 dollars that is not very pretty looking or you can spend 850 dollars on one that "is sealed and guaranted leak proof" Ok so my question was...So how am I gonna now if it leaks or not? The deceased going to call me and complain?

Then there are the caskets.....wood is more expensive...metal is cheaper..fiberboard....is the cheapest.......but not very pretty.....and once again...my response is...."And who is it exactly that is mourning the death of this person do we need to impress? And here we go with the "sealing issue" the more expensive ones are air tight......well goodness yes lets get one fo those..dont want the deceased getting a breath of air now do we "rme"

and then the cushioning inside the casket......cracks me up will the deceased actually ummm get an ache in his back if only laying on a 1/2 inch cushion instead of a 2 inch one?



Now the gross part to me is what funeral people do to make the body look "presentable" ping pong balls where they eyeballs are....super glue the eyes shut (no they dont naturally close) superglue the mouth shut....cotton filled mouths to maintain the "natural facial features" makeup so u cant see the ....loss of color since all the blood has now followed the direction of gravity.....and numerous other grossies..and I have to pay to have thsi done to a loved one for what reason?

So when people come tothe viewing....they can say "He/she looks good" No he/she looks dead...and that is ok cause he/she is!
Never have understood why people say some of the dumbest things at a viewing:
"he/she looks good...compared to what? How the person looked when they were alive?

"he/she has never looked better" better than what?

"He/she looks so peaceful"................duhhhhhhh (did they think the body would be having a bad dream? or maybe i should have had the funeral people make the deceaseds face look like "the scream"





And when i die and u bury whats left... put these simple word on a piece of stone to remember me:

Dean Thoreau
born yes died yes
at last he sleeps alone!

[Kimbo]

Back in the nursing days I was on the Code team--I've seen a lot of death. One time we pronounced an elderly woman, she was taken to the morgue, when I came in the next morning she was in the ICU. The funeral home people found her taking shallow breaths. That kind of freaked me out!

I've seen many autopsies, I'm fascinated by the body.

[Unndunn]

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but I felt devastated when I saw this thread. I come to this site to escape the pain I'm going through over losing my mother to cancer four months ago and losing my father in a horrible, tragic accident almost three years ago. It's Christmas and all I can think about is that this is the first Christmas with both of my parents gone.

I understand that these are my issues, and after I post this I'll make a polite exit out of this thread. However, I am posting because I know I can't be the only person who felt hurt and upset upon seeing it. I've been a nurse for 22 years and understand gallows humor and natural curiousity about death. I've seen plenty of dead bodies firsthand, but right now I can't forget that most recently it was my mother that I was sitting with while she gasped and took her last breath.

I just hope that people on this site, and specifically in this thread remember that things that don't bother us at a certain point in time might be triggers for other members.

thanks for reading,
unn

[Jett]

Unn first I'll say I'm very sorry for your loss, I lost my mom last year so I do have some idea what you're going through.

Death is a very touchy subject, taboo even to some... and we all deal with it differently... I don't think this thread is all about gallows humor. For me the story I told was pretty much a very painful true experiance that I was able to finally kind of laugh about here and thus let go of some of that pain.

As I said we all deal with things differently...

Anyway Andrew started a "Grieving" thread that's been helpful to me and perhaps you may find some solice among those going through or having gone through similar things as yourself.

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80

I wish you peace
Metro

[Dean Thoreau]

I am sorry for your loss unndunn....
Unfortunately every person alive will one day loose someone they love...it is a fact of life. I am sorry you chose to read this thread considering your recent losses. and grief.

Sometimes for some people laughing at death and the rituals of death is a way to accept the realities of the fact that it faces allof us as well as at least in my case if i stop laughing i will curl up in a ball and give up...

In my short lifetime I have buried more friends than I can count....they have quilts on a thing called the AIDS quilt.

In my short lifetime I have buried...3 children...my father, my uncles, my aunts, my cousin..but such is life and death....

We humans are very controlling people..we like to control everything...but we can not control death,,,nor control when it comes...

So I laugh,,i laugh at death square in the face and say...go ahead I am not afraid of you.
I laugh at the insane customs that we practice regarding a body...cause if I did not it would scare me

I laugh and poke fun at funeral directors cause they always have cold hands....and i laugh at the idea of going to walmart and asking for the hereafter section.....

I can see the walmart funeral home....with the walmart greeter passing out little yellow sad faces for you to wear...and saying welcome to walmart have a sad mourning day .....
i can see people heading to the walmart funeral stopping first to pick up a bottle of milke..or check out the new fishing poes...or grab a box of twinkies for the long ride to the cemetary....

I can see kmart trying to compete with walmart and having a blue light special on embalming fluid.........people pusing their carts with a casket in the cart hurrying ot the embalming department....

Am I irreverant..damn right I am...

am I disrespectful of the dead? No, cause every person on this planet that has ever died has been loved by someone...and every person on this planet that has ever lived ..died knowing someone loved them....at one time in their life....and that is the only thing that matters in the greater scheme of things!

I need to go to kmart now

[NotAnAverageGuy]

I am being burned to a crisp ala crispy critter ( me and my bestie say this), T4T is right, the museum here in Houston is awesome, I think I need to pay a visit soon.

I don't deal well with death but have always been fascinated by the jobs of the funeral home, from the director down to the makeup artist.

There was a show on tv, based in Cali, I can't remember the name but it was a family who ran it and it showed their drama and their feelings in dealing with the business and showed parts of the business that is rarely seen in real life.

[Cyclopea]

My fantasy is to have one of the amazing hand-carved Ghanian representational coffins.
Perhaps a giant bird or fish.
Actually I'd love to have a bunch of them sitting around the house...!
They are extraordinarily beautiful to me.
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4g2wGNGB1s"]YouTube- Ghana Coffins - Ghana[/nomedia]

[Apocalipstic]

Drive through wakes. at Walmart next to the florals.

I used to want to open a funeral home, bar and grill.
rad coffins, really cool piped in music. A gothic room.

Medusa, we have skulls all over the living room! Real animal ones on the mantlepiece.