The mortuary thread

Apocalipstic · 12-18-2009, 10:00 AM

OK, so the people from the funeral home where we had my father's funeral called this week, they want me to buy a casket and plan my own funeral.

Not the call I was wanting...

I guess since Walmart now carries caskets, they are having to beat the bushes to find victims? clients? what would one call it?

WILDCAT · 12-18-2009, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

OK, so the people from the funeral home where we had my father's funeral called this week, they want me to buy a casket and plan my own funeral.

Not the call I was wanting...

I guess since Walmart now carries caskets, they are having to beat the bushes to find victims? clients? what would one call it?

See Walmart "customer" service department: Bored to death complaints. (I guess?)

Other than a few funny lines, some sad stories - this thread is SPOOKY to me.

I do NOT want preservatives pumped into me. That seems insane to me and oh, so non-organic!! (Delaying the natural "process".) And I know how the blood draining is done and the doll dress up stuff. ICK!!! Shudder!

Part of my hospice training was to go into the bowels of a funeral home and see the "goings on". Well, not an actual... the equipment and full explanation.

I want cremated, but am deathly afraid of fires. (Seriously, now folks.) What if I am not dead? And the fire seems MUCH too hot.

So, I would have to have a "quickie" funeral. I think by law without the embalming, for obvious reasons you must "move" quickly with the service - if you are having one. Maybe just a memorial (?)

I did LOVE "Six Feet Under". That was a great show. I am NOT a fan of death and dying though.

Well, on that note: Everyone have a very lovely day. No slipping on the ice! (That is what killed the Atkins Diet guy!) Hmmmm, don't recall that as a death on my Six Feet show - come to think of it.

WILDCAT

Apocalipstic · 12-18-2009, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WILDCAT

See Walmart "customer" service department: Bored to death complaints. (I guess?)

Other than a few funny lines, some sad stories - this thread is SPOOKY to me.

I do NOT want preservatives pumped into me. That seems insane to me and oh, so non-organic!! (Delaying the natural "process".) And I know how the blood draining is done and the doll dress up stuff. ICK!!! Shudder!

Part of my hospice training was to go into the bowels of a funeral home and see the "goings on". Well, not an actual... the equipment and full explanation.

I want cremated, but am deathly afraid of fires. (Seriously, now folks.) What if I am not dead? And the fire seems MUCH too hot.

So, I would have to have a "quickie" funeral. I think by law without the embalming, for obvious reasons you must "move" quickly with the service - if you are having one. Maybe just a memorial (?)

I did LOVE "Six Feet Under". That was a great show. I am NOT a fan of death and dying though.

Well, on that note: Everyone have a very lovely day. No slipping on the ice! (That is what killed the Atkins Diet guy!) Hmmmm, don't recall that as a death on my Six Feet show - come to think of it.

WILDCAT

I am torn too. I recently had to decide so my final wishes could be placed in my will. I chose creation, but I am also very afraid of fires and of still being alive when it happens. I guess creation seems better than embalming fluid?

What about if one is buried then years later a neighborhood is built on the graveyard like in Poltergeist? Eeek.

I know, I am morbid.

MizzSabra · 12-18-2009, 01:13 PM

No funeral for me, thanks. Just a big ass wake with bagpipes, drinking and pot smoking.....oh and some food. I'm a chef, better be good food.

I have prepaid the Neptune Society to come pick up my corpse after I have died and cremate me. My kids know what to do with the ashes.

Apocalipstic · 12-18-2009, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MizzSabra

No funeral for me, thanks. Just a big ass wake with bagpipes, drinking and pot smoking.....oh and some food. I'm a chef, better be good food.

I have prepaid the Neptune Society to come pick up my corpse after I have died and cremate me. My kids know what to do with the ashes.

Bagpipes are wonderful!

I have always wanted someone to sing "I am the Walrus" at my funeral.

I have never heard of the Neptune Society, must look up.

MizzSabra · 12-18-2009, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Bagpipes are wonderful!

I have always wanted someone to sing "I am the Walrus" at my funeral.

I have never heard of the Neptune Society, must look up.

http://www.neptunesociety.com/

If you live in CA, go here: http://www.neptune-society.com/

Bagpipes playing Amazing Grace.

Cyclopea · 12-18-2009, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WILDCAT

See Walmart "customer" service department: Bored to death complaints. (I guess?)
WILDCAT

Ha!

Medusa · 12-18-2009, 03:00 PM

Unn, Im sorry for your loss. I know that it is difficult and often triggery to read about the things in this conversation when things are so raw for you. I hope you find some peace.

I also know that Andrew wasnt trying to trigger anyone and started this thread from a place of analysis rather than from morbid laughter.

With that said, I have been fascinated with the process of life and death since I was a child. I was even taken to the school counselor when I was in the 4th grade because my teacher was having career day and was horrified when I told her I wanted to be a Funeral Director.

That urge has never gone away and I am, for the third time in my life, seriously contemplating going to Mortuary school.

We also have an extensive collection of items related to the human (and animal) death experience. We have a 6-foot oak casket in our garage. Trocar needles used in embalming, urns, toe tags, internment orders, freezer guages, books, magazines, even several human teeth and finger bones. Most people who come to our home have a pretty visceral reaction to seeing this stuff displayed. Many are grossed out. Many are disturbed. Some find it interesting.

Most people assume that I grew up in a funeral home or something because I am so normalized to the death process. I have worked in several hospitals and seen, touched, and handled several dead bodies, including many, many children. I worked in the Cancer unit at a children's hospital here in Arkansas and cared for and tended to the bodies of more children than I can count and until you have cradled the lifeless body of a 6-week-old infant who has died from Leukemia, you dont really grasp the level of love and care that must go into treating people's bodies with respect when they die.
I think that is my biggest draw, the humanity of it. I have witnessed Mothers who wanted to be taken when their children died. I have witnessed children who were glad to be going. I have witnessed people's final words and breaths. Death is a very, very humbling experience.
I, for one, am glad that there are people who are willing to be part of this process. Helping prepare and care for the bodies of those who have gone on.

I have made my wishes known to Jack for when I die. I hope that everyone has a big party with lots of merriment and story-telling. I want to be cremated and I dont care what happens to the ashes. I have had an amazing life thus far. Dont get me wrong, Im not ready to go anywhere just yet because Im having such a great time but if I died tomorrow, I would have accomplished much of what I have wanted to accomplish in this life. I have broken the cycle of physical abuse that has been generationally entrenched in my family. I broke my own cycle of addiction. I have learned to live an authentic life. I have stopped being afraid. I have laughed more in my life than most people can imagine. I have made some amazing friends. I have loved and been loved in return.
There isnt anything more magical than that to me.

Unndunn · 12-19-2009, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa

Unn, Im sorry for your loss. I know that it is difficult and often triggery to read about the things in this conversation when things are so raw for you. I hope you find some peace.

I also know that Andrew wasnt trying to trigger anyone and started this thread from a place of analysis rather than from morbid laughter.

I just happened to come across this thread when I was feeling extremely raw and had a strong reaction to it. I felt like I needed to say something, and I'm glad that I did because I got some really sweet messages and rep comments. My family is Irish. We don't cry, especially at wakes and funerals; we laugh and remember the good times. Most of the time I can do that. This Christmas just seems to be hitting me hard.

My father had mentioned to us a few months before he died that he didn't want "a bunch of phonies crying crocodile tears over my dead body at a wake" and that he wanted to be cremated, so we had him cremated and then had a funeral mass at the Catholic Church my parents belonged to. (He wasn't referring to family members being "phonies" just old coworkers, etc. that would "show up out of the woodwork"). We had a reception in the church hall afterward with tons of food and drink. Afterward, my mother who was still in shock over dad's death (he died in an accident at home, she found his body) said "I want the exact same thing when I die, but please order a little less food-- we had too many leftovers" lol We teased her for quite a while about that, and it always made her smile. When she died in August of this year we made the plans accordingly and orderd a little less food. It was so like my mother to say that and I still smile when I think of it. Their ashes are here in the house that my father built and that's where they'll stay.

My brothers and I have all talked about what we want when we die. I would like to be cremated, and to be late for my own funeral, since so many people over the years have told me that I would be.

Thanks again for being so understanding,
Unn

Andrew, Jr. · 12-19-2009, 08:55 AM

I find death so strange. It is not something that is final, but a rebirth. We are just passing thru.

I endured the loss of my younger brother's suicide, the loss of my sister & Godfather from cancer, and the loss of so many from HIV/AIDS. I think of them having a huge party, and just waiting for us to join them. The hard part is for us left behind. We have to find the motive, and joy back in living.

theoddz · 12-18-2009, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

OK, so the people from the funeral home where we had my father's funeral called this week, they want me to buy a casket and plan my own funeral.

Not the call I was wanting...

I guess since Walmart now carries caskets, they are having to beat the bushes to find victims? clients? what would one call it?

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/produ...i_sku=12569361

I think what I find most disturbing is that little button alongside the item that says "Add to Cart".

~Theo~

Andrew, Jr. · 04-16-2010, 12:11 PM

Anything new here? I find this topic so fascinating.

Cyclopea · 04-28-2010, 03:20 PM

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/0..._n_555556.html

Andrew, Jr. · 05-08-2010, 12:02 PM

Anything new?

canadianmusician · 05-10-2010, 01:12 AM

I'm about to start a Foundations course so I can become an Embalmer & Funeral Directors apprentice. I've done quite a bit of research and spoken to other embalmers. The embalming process is so much more than I thought it was....some people find it gruesome. I find it fascinating....

Bu tmost of all, I want to make sure the family can see thier loved one the way they remembered them from when they were well, if possible. There's hours of reconstruction that can take lpace depending on cause of death.

If people want to donate thier body to science/frozen, they need to be embalmed to preserve the body because it begins to decompose almost immediately.

I've been considering donating my body to Body Worlds for plastination.

canadianmusician · 05-10-2010, 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

OK, so the people from the funeral home where we had my father's funeral called this week, they want me to buy a casket and plan my own funeral.

Not the call I was wanting...

I guess since Walmart now carries caskets, they are having to beat the bushes to find victims? clients? what would one call it?

Apocalipstic...I'm so sorry to hear that happened. That's really tacky and not professional. Did you report them to the local funeral directors assc? Embalmers and Directors are all licenced by provincial/state boards.

It's fine to advertise....I mean, a funeral home is a business and there are costs associated but I would NEVER call up the family of someone who's passed away asking them to buy a pre-plan. My fear is that it would retraumatize the family.

The best way to get business is to have reasonable costs, make sure the family gets what they want, and it's a profession where it's just a given that you'll go out of your way in some respects. It really upsets me that the funeral home called you and asked you to buy a pre-plan. They should have called to see how you were doing.

12-18-2009, 10:00 AM	#1
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,361 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	OK, so the people from the funeral home where we had my father's funeral called this week, they want me to buy a casket and plan my own funeral. Not the call I was wanting... I guess since Walmart now carries caskets, they are having to beat the bushes to find victims? clients? what would one call it? __________________

12-18-2009, 03:00 PM	#8
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,691 Times in 7,831 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	*possibly triggery* Unn, Im sorry for your loss. I know that it is difficult and often triggery to read about the things in this conversation when things are so raw for you. I hope you find some peace. I also know that Andrew wasnt trying to trigger anyone and started this thread from a place of analysis rather than from morbid laughter. With that said, I have been fascinated with the process of life and death since I was a child. I was even taken to the school counselor when I was in the 4th grade because my teacher was having career day and was horrified when I told her I wanted to be a Funeral Director. That urge has never gone away and I am, for the third time in my life, seriously contemplating going to Mortuary school. We also have an extensive collection of items related to the human (and animal) death experience. We have a 6-foot oak casket in our garage. Trocar needles used in embalming, urns, toe tags, internment orders, freezer guages, books, magazines, even several human teeth and finger bones. Most people who come to our home have a pretty visceral reaction to seeing this stuff displayed. Many are grossed out. Many are disturbed. Some find it interesting. Most people assume that I grew up in a funeral home or something because I am so normalized to the death process. I have worked in several hospitals and seen, touched, and handled several dead bodies, including many, many children. I worked in the Cancer unit at a children's hospital here in Arkansas and cared for and tended to the bodies of more children than I can count and until you have cradled the lifeless body of a 6-week-old infant who has died from Leukemia, you dont really grasp the level of love and care that must go into treating people's bodies with respect when they die. I think that is my biggest draw, the humanity of it. I have witnessed Mothers who wanted to be taken when their children died. I have witnessed children who were glad to be going. I have witnessed people's final words and breaths. Death is a very, very humbling experience. I, for one, am glad that there are people who are willing to be part of this process. Helping prepare and care for the bodies of those who have gone on. I have made my wishes known to Jack for when I die. I hope that everyone has a big party with lots of merriment and story-telling. I want to be cremated and I dont care what happens to the ashes. I have had an amazing life thus far. Dont get me wrong, Im not ready to go anywhere just yet because Im having such a great time but if I died tomorrow, I would have accomplished much of what I have wanted to accomplish in this life. I have broken the cycle of physical abuse that has been generationally entrenched in my family. I broke my own cycle of addiction. I have learned to live an authentic life. I have stopped being afraid. I have laughed more in my life than most people can imagine. I have made some amazing friends. I have loved and been loved in return. There isnt anything more magical than that to me. __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

04-28-2010, 03:20 PM	#13
Cyclopea Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Lesbian Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Exit Zero Posts: 1,267 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,694 Thanked 1,615 Times in 632 Posts Rep Power: 226200	http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/0..._n_555556.html __________________ http://forum.axishistory.com/images/...arious/eye.jpg

05-08-2010, 12:02 PM	#14
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	BUMP de BUMP BUMP Anything new?

12-18-2009, 01:13 PM	#4
MizzSabra Member How Do You Identify?: N/a Relationship Status: N/A Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: N/A Posts: 107 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16 Thanked 111 Times in 41 Posts Rep Power: 60798	No funeral for me, thanks. Just a big ass wake with bagpipes, drinking and pot smoking.....oh and some food. I'm a chef, better be good food. I have prepaid the Neptune Society to come pick up my corpse after I have died and cremate me. My kids know what to do with the ashes.

12-19-2009, 08:55 AM	#10
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I find death so strange. It is not something that is final, but a rebirth. We are just passing thru. I endured the loss of my younger brother's suicide, the loss of my sister & Godfather from cancer, and the loss of so many from HIV/AIDS. I think of them having a huge party, and just waiting for us to join them. The hard part is for us left behind. We have to find the motive, and joy back in living.

04-16-2010, 12:11 PM	#12
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	Anything new here? I find this topic so fascinating.

05-10-2010, 01:12 AM	#15
canadianmusician Junior Member How Do You Identify?: FTM Preferred Pronoun?: Him/He/His Relationship Status: Poly & D/s Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Vancouver Posts: 47 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 25 Thanked 63 Times in 29 Posts Rep Power: 430180	I'm about to start a Foundations course so I can become an Embalmer & Funeral Directors apprentice. I've done quite a bit of research and spoken to other embalmers. The embalming process is so much more than I thought it was....some people find it gruesome. I find it fascinating.... Bu tmost of all, I want to make sure the family can see thier loved one the way they remembered them from when they were well, if possible. There's hours of reconstruction that can take lpace depending on cause of death. If people want to donate thier body to science/frozen, they need to be embalmed to preserve the body because it begins to decompose almost immediately. I've been considering donating my body to Body Worlds for plastination.