Jokes and things that made you laugh.

scootebaby · 11-19-2010, 12:00 PM

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

lipstixgal · 11-27-2010, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scootebaby

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

That's funny did the laxative work during the night?? It really shouldn't have it usually takes about 8 hours!!

scootebaby · 11-27-2010, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lipstixgal

That's funny did the laxative work during the night?? It really shouldn't have it usually takes about 8 hours!!

[COLOR="Black"]uh they were fast acting /COLOR]

lipstixgal · 11-27-2010, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scootebaby

[COLOR="Black"]uh they were fast acting /COLOR]

So I'm guessing that you woke up and went to the bathroom in time I hope!!

JustJo · 11-27-2010, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lipstixgal

So I'm guessing that you woke up and went to the bathroom in time I hope!!

lipstixgal · 11-27-2010, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

By the face

you mad Jo I guess not!! I can't believe that a laxative would act so fast at night and a sleeping pill combined too but I guess anything can happen..

JustJo · 11-27-2010, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lipstixgal

By the face

you mad Jo I guess not!! I can't believe that a laxative would act so fast at night and a sleeping pill combined too but I guess anything can happen..

No...actually I was trying to tell you that it was a joke

weatherboi · 11-27-2010, 06:53 PM

How many racists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None...racists don't like being enlightened.

WolfyOne · 11-27-2010, 07:18 PM

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
What have you got there, dear?
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

girl_dee · 11-28-2010, 07:26 AM

democrats think the glass is have full
republicans think they OWN the glass.

sanee66 · 09-01-2011, 05:48 PM

[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh-zkIJ5cJk&feature=fvst"]YouTube - Laughing Old Man at Comedy Barn.mp4 - YouTube[/nomedia]

i laughed til i cried

Janstevie · 09-02-2011, 12:59 PM

I would just like to share an experience with you all, and it has to do with drinking and driving.
As you know some of us have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd party over the years.
Well, I for one have done something about it: Last night I was out for a few drinks with some mates and had way too many glasses of the good old white wine.
Knowing full well I was wasted, I did something I've never done before. I took a bus home.
I arrived home safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never driven a bus before!!

Guy · 09-02-2011, 04:31 PM

Watching VH1 and the classic SNL skit with Janet Jackson about cork soakers. Made me crack up!

Amber2010 · 10-04-2011, 08:19 AM

A young man decided to join the Army…
Three days later he was back home and his mother asked “Why did you decide not to stay in?”
He looked at his mother and says….
The First day I was given a comb and then they went and shaved all of my hair off…
The Second day I was given a toothbrush and they pulled eight of my teeth…
The third day they gave me a jock strap… I was not waiting... Over the wall I went!!!

tapu · 10-04-2011, 08:51 AM

A woman, just turned 40, admired herself in the bedroom mirror, saying, "I think I look better now than I did at 30."

And her husband, standing behind her, said, "REALLY??"

(Repeat from my blog--sorry. Janny's joke reminded me. This one is a "true story.")

Bella~Vita · 10-04-2011, 12:35 PM

Where's Clay? I have another sick joke for you ..

THE DEAD COW LECTURE

First-year students at the Auburn Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body."

For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.

Sweet_Amor_Taino · 04-06-2011, 08:00 AM

Hercules is my baby boy and he is just like a child. The things he does some times is enough to shake my head and ask who is the boss here?.

Yesterday I locked him out of my room to go online for a while and when I open the door Oh BOY, He was laying on the couch with a guilty look on his face and the paper towels were every where in big and little pieces I mean every where. I just stood there and all I could say to myself was. " I guess he showed me not to do that again" I told him he was a Bad Boy !! But I could see that was his way of showing me how piss he was for me putting him out of the room. Seriously I will not do that again.. Now who is the boss?? LOL

Sweet_Amor_Taino · 04-06-2011, 08:11 AM

My hercules is my baby boy and he is just like a child. The things he does some times is enough to shake your head and ask who is the boss here?.

Yesterday I locked him out of my room to go online for a while and when I open the door Oh BOY, He was laying on the couch with a guilty look on his face and the paper towels were every where in big and little pieces I mean every where. I just stood there and all I could say to myself was. " I guess he showed me not to do that again" I told him he was a Bad Boy !! but I could see he was showing me how piss he was for me putting him out of the room. Seriously I will not do that again.. Now who is the boss?? LOL

Tcountry · 04-06-2011, 10:34 AM

So sorry...it came from a relative and I didn't pick through them...thanks for deleting!

Guy · 04-06-2011, 01:35 PM

A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, Are all of those kids yours? He replied, No. I work for a condom company and these are customer complaints.

11-19-2010, 12:00 PM	#1
scootebaby Timed Out How Do You Identify?: yes dear Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: south florida Posts: 2,494 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,264 Thanked 6,737 Times in 1,777 Posts Rep Power: 0	words of advice Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

11-27-2010, 07:18 PM	#9
WolfyOne Magically Delicious How Do You Identify?: Gentle Butch Relationship Status: Single and content Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 6,558 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,052 Thanked 15,391 Times in 4,138 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. What have you got there, dear? With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear." __________________ Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage --- Lao Tzo

09-01-2011, 05:48 PM	#11
sanee66 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: ms Posts: 139 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 173 Thanked 306 Times in 95 Posts Rep Power: 3766495	laughing man at comedy barn [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh-zkIJ5cJk&feature=fvst"]YouTube - Laughing Old Man at Comedy Barn.mp4 - YouTube[/nomedia] i laughed til i cried

10-04-2011, 08:51 AM	#15
tapu Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Understated butch. Preferred Pronoun?: I Relationship Status: Party of One Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Maine Posts: 1,654 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,324 Thanked 3,115 Times in 1,103 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	A woman, just turned 40, admired herself in the bedroom mirror, saying, "I think I look better now than I did at 30." And her husband, standing behind her, said, "REALLY??" (Repeat from my blog--sorry. Janny's joke reminded me. This one is a "true story.") __________________ Really? That's not funny to you?

10-04-2011, 12:35 PM	#16
Bella~Vita Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: where salt is used for Margaritas not Snow Posts: 891 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,049 Thanked 1,322 Times in 443 Posts Rep Power: 7157596	Where's Clay? I have another sick joke for you .. THE DEAD COW LECTURE First-year students at the Auburn Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. __________________ ~ I believe that pleasing everyone is impossible..... but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake ~

11-27-2010, 06:53 PM	#8
weatherboi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Owned boy Preferred Pronoun?: Hey boy!!! Relationship Status: counting freckles slowly under Her direction!!! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: i have 2 sets of geographic coordinates!!! Posts: 6,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,797 Thanked 12,549 Times in 2,993 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	How many racists does it take to change a lightbulb? None...racists don't like being enlightened.

11-28-2010, 07:26 AM	#10
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	democrats think the glass is have full republicans think they OWN the glass.

09-02-2011, 12:59 PM	#12
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I would just like to share an experience with you all, and it has to do with drinking and driving. As you know some of us have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd party over the years. Well, I for one have done something about it: Last night I was out for a few drinks with some mates and had way too many glasses of the good old white wine. Knowing full well I was wasted, I did something I've never done before. I took a bus home. I arrived home safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never driven a bus before!!

09-02-2011, 04:31 PM	#13
Guy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 1,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,258 Thanked 2,574 Times in 889 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Watching VH1 and the classic SNL skit with Janet Jackson about cork soakers. Made me crack up!

10-04-2011, 08:19 AM	#14
Amber2010 Member How Do You Identify?: Happy, Crazy, Bubbly, Funny, Strong, Outgoing, Friendly Preferred Pronoun?: Femme Relationship Status: Complicated Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Florida Posts: 200 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 920 Thanked 594 Times in 154 Posts Rep Power: 3787185	A young man decided to join the Army… Three days later he was back home and his mother asked “Why did you decide not to stay in?” He looked at his mother and says…. The First day I was given a comb and then they went and shaved all of my hair off… The Second day I was given a toothbrush and they pulled eight of my teeth… The third day they gave me a jock strap… I was not waiting... Over the wall I went!!!

04-06-2011, 08:00 AM	#17
Sweet_Amor_Taino Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Gentleman Preferred Pronoun?: he/him Relationship Status: Exclusively dating, Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Austin Tx Posts: 538 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 388 Thanked 853 Times in 298 Posts Rep Power: 4397590	My Hercules Hercules is my baby boy and he is just like a child. The things he does some times is enough to shake my head and ask who is the boss here?. Yesterday I locked him out of my room to go online for a while and when I open the door Oh BOY, He was laying on the couch with a guilty look on his face and the paper towels were every where in big and little pieces I mean every where. I just stood there and all I could say to myself was. " I guess he showed me not to do that again" I told him he was a Bad Boy !! But I could see that was his way of showing me how piss he was for me putting him out of the room. Seriously I will not do that again.. Now who is the boss?? LOL __________________ When we are aware that each moment of each day and each step we take,is truly mystical and full of wonder,we will live our lives with greater thought and care, we will also respect and appreciate This moment.

04-06-2011, 08:11 AM	#18
Sweet_Amor_Taino Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Gentleman Preferred Pronoun?: he/him Relationship Status: Exclusively dating, Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Austin Tx Posts: 538 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 388 Thanked 853 Times in 298 Posts Rep Power: 4397590	My Hercules My hercules is my baby boy and he is just like a child. The things he does some times is enough to shake your head and ask who is the boss here?. Yesterday I locked him out of my room to go online for a while and when I open the door Oh BOY, He was laying on the couch with a guilty look on his face and the paper towels were every where in big and little pieces I mean every where. I just stood there and all I could say to myself was. " I guess he showed me not to do that again" I told him he was a Bad Boy !! but I could see he was showing me how piss he was for me putting him out of the room. Seriously I will not do that again.. Now who is the boss?? LOL __________________ When we are aware that each moment of each day and each step we take,is truly mystical and full of wonder,we will live our lives with greater thought and care, we will also respect and appreciate This moment.

04-06-2011, 10:34 AM	#19
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	So sorry...it came from a relative and I didn't pick through them...thanks for deleting! __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

04-06-2011, 01:35 PM	#20
Guy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 1,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,258 Thanked 2,574 Times in 889 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, Are all of those kids yours? He replied, No. I work for a condom company and these are customer complaints.